‘Crossover’ Movie Review (2006)

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Crossover Movie ReviewCrossover is a spirit crushing film. It is completely logic free, to the point where you almost find yourself trying to make logic out of the illogic of it all, but trust me when I say it’s not there to be found. The simple fact that it doesn’t have facts makes Crossover a merciless viewing experience even though (strangely enough) most of the acting performances are solid. It has one other thing going for it too, which will be revealed at the end of the review should just want to skip down to the end.

Okay, so regular readers should know by now that I abhor (or really dislike) spoilers in reviews but here I have no choice. I’ve got to delve into a few of the movie’s inner happenings to make my point about why this one fails so thoroughly. So if you want to see this one with the innocence of a child go ahead and click off now. Are you done? Good. For the rest of you let’s go over a few plot points that Crossover murders on the way to being not tasty.

The story of this meager little flick is a kid growing up in Detroit; he’s a top notch street ball player. He has a best friend and a mother who can’t pay the light bill. Luckily he makes a thousand dollars a game playing street ball (set up by a local bookie) but evidently the games are so infrequent he can’t do much else besides play ball and work at a shoe store with the best friend, who is also a very good basketball player. The only difference is his friend is squeaky clean (whearas he is a thug) and wants to be a doctor. That’s the story, a real work of art. Moving on…

Spoiler one: First off, who the hell hustles basketball? This guy does. On the streets of Detroit our hero suckers ballers into playing him for cash and then he beats them and takes their coin. Easy money! Except for one small problem; this has pretty much not been done since White Men Can’t Jump came out. Oh, people play straight up for money, sure, but no one goes through the subterfuge of acting drunk or pretending they can’t play until the money is on the line. I mean gimme a break, if I’m out their playing and beating up on a guy and all of a sudden he’s like “Hey how about 20 bucks on the game,” how stupid would I have to be to take that bet? First off, we weren’t playing for money; we were just having some fun. If I wanted to bet I would have made that clear right off the bat. Second, even if I did want to play for cash if I lived in the neighborhoods this guy lived in I’d just shoot the guy who hustled me after I lost. This is downtown Detroit man, people can’t have loads of money to bet, act mildly retarded, and then once it’s clear they’ve been hustled not take any offense. The clincher is that everyone keeps money in their socks, presumably to give to the people who have just ripped them off. In my opinion that’s just not happening in this world. Yet that’s just what superstar hustler Tech (the technician played by Anthony Mackie) does. Mackie is very good given the crap he has to spout but it doesn’t make it less crappy.

Spoiler two: The crazy chick Tech’s friend starts dating (who is actually the gal from America’s Next Top Model) is the devil incarnate. She pretty much suckers this dude into a relationship and a baby that’s not his, leaks an impropriety that gets his scholarship yanked (destroying his dream of being a doctor) and then when he’s in a motorcycle accident because he found out the baby isn’t his she basically says “oh well.” Now that’s a heartless bitch. If that kind of woman existed I’m pretty sure someone would have killed her, and I hate to go this route again, but this is especially true in Detroit, MI. You can get killed there for having too clever a smile. I mean, Eminem is FROM there. Enough said. Do not rent or buy.

Okay, you’ve waited this long, here’s the good news. The acting is good and they get right down to business without long and brutal opening credits. The basketball action is kind of fun. Detroit is portrayed as a place not to visit, keeping its streak of a dozen straight movies alive. Other than that not much good news, only sad and implausible happenings in a bleak little effort.

GRADE: D+

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Weekend: Nov. 15, 2018, Nov. 18, 2018

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