Box-Office Oracle: July 21 – July 23

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This weekend is a mess as far as I’m concerned. Four movies, FOUR movies open this weekend but thankfully only one of them has a real shot at the crown. The other three are all flawed in their own little way, Clerks II opens too small and doesn’t have as large a fan base as you’ve been led to believe. Monster House isn’t a very good film. My Super Ex-Girlfriend is up against two other romantic comedies. So it comes down to a Pirate versus some weird Mermaid Angel thing. It’s a close call, but I’m sticking with the horse that brung me one more time.

#1 movie predicted correctly: Four Weeks In A Row

1. Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man’s Chest $30.9m

It’s been quite a ride old chum. Just give me one more week before you dive to the bottom of the ocean.

2. Lady in the Water $28.1m

It’s getting very mixed reviews, but we’ve come to expect that from Shymalalalalaalan. I think The Village has scared just enough folks to cost this one the top slot.

3. Monster House $20.8m

If you want your kids to be dumber you should take them to this. Hey, like I always say, a crafty kid is a hassle.

4. My Super Ex-Girlfriend $15.7m

I just have no desire to see it because it combines two easy to screw up genres, Superhero and RomCom.

5. Clerks II $11.8m

Kevin Smith going after that idiot reviewer was priceless. Kev, your film wasn’t so hot but I’ll always stick around until the end.

6. You, Me, and Dupree 11.0m

Dupree owes me money.

7. Little Man $9.7

If you took sewage and mixed it with old cheese you’d get something like this.

8. Superman Returns $5.7m

A brutal fall from the heavens Supey.

9. The Devil Wears Prada $5.3m

It is so close to beating Superman! Hang on Prada, don’t you die on me you bastard!

10. Cars $3.6m

If you’re wondering why I phoned this edition in it’s because Comic-Con will be getting all the love this weekend. No time for little old box office projections for you movers and shakers. See ya Monday freaks.

The new movie book is coming, and it will be better than ever. Stay tuned. -Laremy

Box Office

Weekend: Nov. 15, 2018, Nov. 18, 2018

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