A Very Bloody ‘Twas The Night Before Christmas


A Very Bloody 'Twas The Night Before Christmas

A Christmas Eve poem from your perverse pals at Shock Till You Drop

‘Twas the night before Christmas

And all through the town

HE came a-stalking

With nary a sound!

In his hand was a list

With many a name;

The ones  who’d been naughty!

The ones to be shamed!

He knew where to find them –

Entangled in beds

Enacting the wild dreams

That filled their young heads!

He’d watch them while stroking

The axe in his sack.

Oh yes! They’d be punished

With hard, heavy whacks!

One who had sprung from the bed

To avoid the splatter

Was torn open and gutted

And that settled the matter!

The moon on the breast of a newly slain girl

Gave the lustre of mid-day to the blood in her curls

And the chuckling killer, so lively and quick

Defiled the corpse in the style of Old Nick!

His eyes – how they twinkled!

His cheeks how ruddy!

How he loved this night!

So long and so bloody!

That drooling mouth!

That fearsome jaw!

The beard of his chin

All matted with gore!

The stump of a leg

He held tight in his teeth

As he chewed through the flesh

To the bone beneath!

He stood back at last

To admire his craft;

He sighed with contentment

And whistled and laughed.

And with that he exclaimed

As he drove out of sight –

‘Happy Christmas to all

And to all a good night!’

Merry Christmas from Shock Till You Drop!


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Weekend: Apr. 25, 2019, Apr. 28, 2019

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