An initial look at the roster this weekend had me thinking my streak was in peril but now I know better. The pop culture star Snakes on a Plane will win pretty easily and cheesy movie fans will rejoice but I want to put a little dissent in there. The movie is winning because it’s a weak weekend. That’s all, that’s the only reason. Please don’t do this to us again anytime soon.
#1 movie predicted correctly: Eight Weeks In A Row
1. Snakes on a Plane $18.3m
The litmus test for our country will not go well. We will fail. I can only hope we rebuild from the rubble of this one winning the weekend and the 4,000 stories that will come out on how the internet influences everything afterwards. I’m already praying for us all.
2. Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby $11.4m
I don’t know what your next film is Will, but I’ll be there, that I promise you. I liked this one, and I’m not one of those people who gets on your case because your comedy is lowbrow. I like lowbrow. It’s much better than unibrow.
3. Accepted $11.1m
Trying to compare this to Animal House, as the marketing has tried to do, is like comparing Jessica Biel to someone from the Golden Girls. Yeah, they are both women but…
4. Step Up $10.7m
Never saw it. Never will. But Plenty of people really liked it. I salute those fine folks, and when they are old enough to vote I hope they’ll join me in trying to repeal regressive tax laws.
5. World Trade Center $9.4m
This is a film that’s built to age well, like a fine wine. What it isn’t is a monetary slam dunk because no one cares to re-live trauma. People prefer Snakes and Dancing. Trying to fight that is futile.
6. Material Girls 8.0m
Hillary and Haylie Duff finally get together for a film and my heart now can officially go on. I can’t WAIT to never watch this. Awesome.
7. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest $4.7
I was just in the Caribbean and nothing really went down. I did drink rum though.
8. Barnyard $4.7m
I guess I’d rather people see Snakes then this monster. Man, I sure haven’t seen many of these. Am I skipping too many films?
9. Pulse $3.7m
A lesser predictor would say this one doesn’t have a pulse, but I’m not that guy. I’ll just say this one isn’t breathing.
10. The Descent $2.0m
Well, it’s your last week in the top ten, any parting thoughts? You were barely a blip on the radar but we’ll never forget you, our little spleunking movie. I’ll see you Monday to recap it.
The new movie book is coming, and it will be better than ever. Stay tuned. -Laremy