Box-Office Oracle: Apr. 21 – Apr. 23

ON

Three contenders for the crown this weekend, but all of them will come up short.

The first of the group is The Sentinel, which I personally didn’t see because I wasn’t invited but the skinny is its just okay, or a little below okay. The line I actually heard used about it was “I’ve forgotten it already” (and this was from someone who had seen it hours earlier). This one is your typical non-suspenseful dog that will lure a few suckers in, but fail to capture the public’s imagination in any way, shape, or form.

Next up is Silent Hill, a film we should have a review up on shortly, but that is only because we weren’t invited to this one either and Brad is going to have to fork his own money out to watch it this weekend. My hunch is that it’s decent enough to come damn close to beating the spoof scare deal but it won’t quite get over the top. In that sense it will be like the first Rocky flick, so that’s nice company. Plus it won’t have to deal with that bitch Adrienne.

My favorite film of the week (review here) is American Dreamz. I thought the idea behind this one was really innovative and I always enjoy Hugh Grant (except for the second Bridget Jones thing). Sadly this one is in only 1,500 theaters so no hope for a big opening.

1. Scary Movie 4 $25.7m

If this one screws me out of my number one movie streak I’m having somebody kneecapped.

2. Silent Hill $21.1m

I truly do think this one will be the best of the video game efforts. Something just tells me silence and hills is a beautiful combo, way better than stupid ass eyes and hills. That idea was just silly.

3. Ice Age 2: The Meltdown $12.7m

This one is having a nice run, I just wish it wasn’t such a clearly leftist piece. Movies with an agenda scare me.

4. American Dreamz $12.2m

I really liked it, B-love didn’t, the only knock I have on it is the Z at the end of dream. Z doesn’t pluralize something guyz.

5. The Sentinel $10.7m

This steaming pile deserves the 5th spot. Burn in hell non screener.

6. The Wild $5.7m

This one isn’t having a nice run, I just wish it wasn’t such a clearly right wing effort. Movies with an agenda scare me.

7. The Benchwarmers $5.3m

Go warm the bench outside the top ten next weekend you whore.

8. Inside Man $4.2m

Why didn’t Spike Lee do another joint like the 25th Hour? That one had some moxie. This one’s just allright with me, like Jesus.

9. Take the Lead $3.9m

When I heard Antonio Banderas wasn’t a jockey and this wasn’t a horse film I was perturbed. But then I heard it involved some type of salsa that didn’t go with chips and I was terrified.

10. Thank You for Smoking $3.1m

This is the one vitriol should have been spilled on, not my Dreamzzz movie. This is the one that should’ve added up to more. Who are you people angry at? Look in the mirror! Don’t take all that pathology from your dad out on some hapless Hugh Grant vehicle. Whatevs.

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Weekend: Nov. 15, 2018, Nov. 18, 2018

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