Presenting 3 flicks unfairly flayed by the MST3K dudes.
MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000, the long-defunct cult television program, is the latest property riding a wave of nostalgia to fund a planned revival through Kickstarter. For the uninitiated, the MST3K format has the hosts trapped aboard the space-faring Satellite of Love, screening terrible movies from horror and science fictions bottom tier while wisecracking on the films glaring shortcomings over the audio track. There are additional skits and songs to accompany the screening, but the meat of the show was whatever filmic turkey of the week the Satellite gang was able to capture and the withering putdowns it inspired. Some of MST3Ks targets will never truly scrub off the mark left by their Satellite stomping: The stupefyingly-awful MANOS:THE HANDS OF FATE got a remastered release from Synapse that was free of snark, but Scream Factorys upcoming THE BRAIN THAT WOULDNT DIE blu-ray will include the entire MST3K episode as a bonus feature. Its for this reason that MST3Ks roastings raise hackles, with critics of the show claiming that every film deserves some measure of respect regardless of how awful it may be. In that spirit, here is a list of five films that generously served as MST3K riff fodder, but maybe kinda, sorta arent all THAT tough to watch
I WAS A TEENAGE WEREWOLF
Hammer Studios are generally afforded the credit of modernizing the classic Universal Monsters, even though AIP got to them firsthere they plop the curse of the werewolf down onto an angry, angst-y juvenile delinquent played by Michael Landon. Landons grump of a character stomps around the beginning of the film in a state of permanent surliness; those moments are heartily mocked by the MST3K crew. Landons anger issues land him into therapy, where a questionable doctor summons up the boys beastly side through doses of hypnotism. TEENAGE is a cheap and off-book treatment of the lycanthrope mythos, but there is something creepily relatable about a werewolf in a letter jacket stalking high school gymnasiums and California hillsides, as opposed to the usual foggy European moors and castle parapets.
DANGER: DIABOLIK
Its a crime to see anything by preeminent Italian cinema stylist Mario Bava so shredded by sass, but his DANGER: DIABOLIK was puzzlingly featured for the very final episode of MST3K mark one. DIABOLIK is a comic book spy caper with a ninja-masked cat burglar taking on his police pursuers, and its essentially Bond-grade silliness baked with continental flavor (not to mention truly tragic optical effects used during a skydiving scene), but it nevertheless holds an enduring pop culture influencethe swinging Ennio Morricone theme song Deep Down was recently covered by Faith No Mores Mike Patton, and the film itself inspired the Beastie Boys comedic Body Movin video.
THIS ISLAND EARTH
Chosen to anchor MST3Ks ill-fated theatrical release, the stiff sci-fi of ISLAND, from an era when screen heroes attitudes and jaws were glaringly square, was fertile ground for endless japes. ISLAND certainly takes ages to get into outer space, but the brainy, veiny Metalusan Mutant is a shocking end reveal and was striking enough that the Mutant is occasionally seen lumped in with the Universal Monster roster.
LASERBLAST
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sn7Z6b9KxdE
Stop-motion is a lost effects art not appreciated by all audiences, and effects wizard David Allens clay-based turtle-headed aliens on hand in LASERBLAST are sure to earn a few derisive laughs. Also a source of mirth is star Kim Milfords groovy seventies trappings, like his surfer hairstyle and van with giant footprints printed on the sides (?)a sight from which the MST3K crew make plentiful hay. These knocks aside, LASERBLAST is a modest little fable about a teen who discovers an alien laser cannon out in the desert, and soon becomes addicted to the corrupting power of the destructive instrument. Satisfying explosions abound.
THE INCREDIBLE MELTING MAN
MELTING is the loopy, goopy tale of an astronaut (Alex Rebar) whose spacecraft passes through the rings of Saturn upon re-entry to our solar systema mysterious event that causes him to physically and mentally deteriorate upon his Earthside disembarkment. The MST3K hosts goof on the films highly dramatic tone (given the carnival-barker title and subject matter) and employment of dumb slasher tropes. The film as a whole isnt a great deal more than a showcase for a young Rick Bakers fantastic ooze effects as the enraged lump of candlewax wipes out nurses and random locals, but those visuals alone are more than enough reason to recommend this movie.
What are YOUR favorite perhaps unfairly abused MST3K flick?
