While you ponder that question, allow me – your bitter, jaded writer – to guide you through what I consider the top 14 doomed romances in horror. The genre has a penchant for showing the dark underbelly of love – not in the Blue Valentine kind of way (which carries its own brand of horror), but in a grotesque, often hyper-violent, fashion.
The relationships reflected here were either extremely unhealthy to begin with or romances that gradually turned sour. I included one entry that was purely based on “Yeah, that will NEVER WORK” because I’m jaded…and bitter. And because it’s almost Valentine’s Day.
Enjoy!
Horror's Doomed Romances
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#14
LOVE OBJECT: Shy loner Kenneth is a dude who orders up a sex doll. Quickly, he's interacting with this manufactured woman as if she's the real deal. When a flesh and blood woman enters his life, things get real messy for Ken and Nikki.
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#13
BRIDE OF CHUCKY: Speaking of dolls, how about an unstable affair between Chucky and Tiffany? He's a misogynistic serial killer and she's such a fool for love that she's blinded by how badly Chucky mistreats her. Yep, I just wrote all of that about two dolls who have sex and make a baby. Needless to say, their Bonnie and Clyde-like journey leads to a bitter end.
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#12
NEAR DARK: Okay, I'm including Mae and Caleb on this list because, while their relationship isn't doomed by the end of this film, there is no way in hell they're going to stay together. Their romance began hot and heavy and violent as vampires. Mae's family - or what she considered her family for quite some time - was destroyed and now she's mortal. Do you really think she's going to stay with Caleb? Hell no. That girl is going to explore her options in the daylight.
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#11
SLEEPWALKERS: Let's begin with how "icky" this one is, shall we? It's a relationship between young Charles and the much older Mary. They're ancient cat-like creatures and, oh yeah, did I mention they're mother and son? Their physical bond is about survival as well as pleasure, but still... Gross. And what they share is no match for Tanya who crushes on Charles and learns of his true identity. This mother and son team meet their demise, however, when their cover is blown.
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#10
HIGH TENSION: Oh, Marie... Talk about mixed signals. This psychotic beauty fell hard for her pal Alex. She killed...scratch that, slaughtered Alex's family and created a super-warped fantasy/rescue scenario in her head. Talking about love and longing going horribly, horribly wrong.
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#9
HENRY: PORTRAIT OF A SERIAL KILLER: Don't end up in a suitcase. That's all you need to do to be in a relationship with Henry. Don't end up in a suitcase. Becky - the sister of Henry's "pal," Otis - was on the right track. She had a good thing going with Henry. Something promising. Maybe something that would pull him from his violent ways. And then she had to go and say, "I love you..."
Don't end up in a suitcase.
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#8
MAY: The horror genre's ultimate misfit, May, is looking for love and acceptance in all the wrong places (cue the Johnny Lee track). A spark develops between May and Adam, a horror-loving lad who has a weirdness about him as well. You think things might actually work out between these two, but their relationship dissolves and May takes from Adam what she loved best about him.
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#7
LET THE RIGHT ONE IN: Like May and Adam before them, Oskar and Eli appear to be a perfect fit. The tragedy of this doomed bond is quite different though. Eli will never age and Oskar commits himself to what is going to be a very complex, heartbreaking life.
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#6
ROSEMARY'S BABY: Talk about a betrayal. Guy doesn't cheat on his wife Rosemary...he offers her up to the dark forces to birth the Antichrist. What a dirtbag.
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#5
THE FLY: Seth Brundle and his relationship with Veronica was strained from the start. Still, we had hope for this brilliant, quirky scientist/journalist duo. Even when Seth was at his most dickish, Veronica came to his aid until the bitter "Hey, I'm a fly monster, blow my head off" end.
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#4
SCREAM: Sidney and Billy are your average high school couple. Sid's got some emotional baggage and Billy doesn't have really strong coping skills, especially when Sid isn't "putting out" in the way Billy would like. Y'know, it's typical teenager stuff. I honestly think they would have gotten by fine as a couple had Billy not revealed himself to be a complete psychopath.
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#3
DRACULA: You would think my choice here is Dracula and Mina. Not the case. The doomed relationship here is between Dracula and Lucy. Here's a girl seduced by the big daddy of all bloodsuckers. She's led astray, used like a water bottle, bled dry, turned into a vampire and then beheaded.
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#2
CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON: Interspecies love affairs seldom work. And here, we have a Devonian-age creature who has been living alone until he meets and falls for Kay, a woman who rolls into his neck of the jungle with a group of scientists. Creature doesn't have game, though, and everything he does makes him look like a clingy, jealous jerk. But, he's just misunderstood as most of Universal's classic monsters are.
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#1
THE BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN: The ultimate, classic and widely misunderstood love connection. Since this 1935 film was released, pop culture has always paired the Frankenstein monster with his would-be Bride in artwork and cartoons. Here's the thing: She didn't wanted cinema's famous monster. She never did. Upon her birth (or resurrection), she freaked out and cowered from Karloff's creature. And she was made for him! Word of advice, guys: You can't force a love connection to happen. If it was meant to be, it was meant to be.
