Ten Things We’d Push ‘The Box’s Button For

The picture you see above comes from this week’s upcoming release of The Box and could it be any more enticing? Look at that button unit. I mean, who doesn’t want to push the plunger on that bad boy to see what will happen?

Now imagine Frank Langella tells you that by pushing it you will receive $1 million! There is, of course, the one caveat, someone you don’t know, somewhere in the world will die as a result of your button mashing, which could potentially open the possibility that the next person that pushes it will ultimately end up killing you and so forth…

However, if you follow that logic down the line that would mean you died without $1 million should you have decided not to push the button. This would leave you with one massive regret as you fade down the drain. Soooooooo… Boom! You push that button! And…

That’s right, you’re $1 million richer! We all feel sorry for that person that died, whoever they were, but after all, they could have been offered the button next, and maybe would have killed us. Screw that right? One less person out there to worry about dropping the people’s elbow on the magic box and ruining all our fun.

Taking this idea a bit further, I took a hypothetical button box idea to our very own Box-Office Oracle, Laremy Legel, to see just how low he would actually go if offered the chance to get something for free just by pushing a cool as shit shiny red button. Here’s how he responded with a few explanations as to why…

A coupon for discounted car wash
One Red-Haired Troll Doll
A roll of “forever” stamps because they are forever
Subway sub card with at least one free six-inch on it
A Kiss, followed IMMEDIATELY by a smile
For someone to explain the difference between the colors violet and lavender
A dry cleaning ticket (with at LEAST three items to pick up)
A Bear Claw
The Nights in Rodanthe Soundtrack
Another box in a different color with a button to push

Now that you’ve experienced our stupid list, enjoy what the folks at Funny or Die put together.

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