This week’s estrogen escape takes the cake: there are weddings, there are flowers, there is jewelry, spray tan, shopping — and that’s in the trailer alone! In short Bride Wars has it all. If you thought Kate Hudson couldn’t pick a romantic comedy better than How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, oh my friend, you thought wrong! And if you thought you wouldn’t have to see it…well, my friend…once again, negatory.
Despite the fact that there are some five movies opening wide this weekend — including one starring Clint Eastwood, the Gran Torino of cinema himself — the only film on your girl’s radar is Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson’s tour de femme. And she usually has much better taste. Well, where weddings are concerned, even the sanest of women get a little weird.
Why she might want to see it: Might? No, she definitely will. It features brides behaving badly! Sounds like a show on the Oxygen Network.
Why you might not: Sounds like a show on the Oxygen Network.
The silver lining: Most romantic comedies clock in at under two hours.
Tips for the untrained:
- The script was co-written by new SNL regular, Casey Wilson (i.e., Dusty the paralyzed stripper). Makes one think there will be more than a few good jokes in there. Play a game with yourself, and try to figure out which one-liners are all hers.
- Another saving grace for your boredom/agony may come in the co-stars. Candice Bergen of “Boston Legal” co-stars as the wedding planner, and like Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada, she’s bound to steal a scene or two (or three or four). Plus Bryan Greenberg and Chris Pratt, who play the two lucky grooms-to-be, are likely to mirror your personal disconnect from the feuding brides, so stick with them.
- Much like an episode of “Bad Girls Club” (real show), Bride Wars will teach us exactly how we shouldn’t act. So don’t worry: your girlfriend watching brides behaving badly won’t turn her into a badly behaving bride. In fact, you haven’t even had that conversation, have you? Nor do you want to? Only in it for the sex, you say? Oh, dear. Take her to see something else.
- All else fails, wear a hoodie and bring headphones. But in general, be gentle with her feelings after a movie about weddings. We don’t like to admit it, but we can be oddly sensitive about the subject. So play nice, or you might end up with VIP tickets to the Bride Wars sequel, DTR Woes. Starring you.
Should you prefer to keep yourself and your lady out of the reign of taffeta at this weekend’s box office, I do recommend you two go see Gran Torino. It’s not a light movie; it’s a thinker, but you’ll both come out of it with a lot of conversation. First question: do your parents really hate her? Or is it just ’cause she’s Asian?
Let me know what fights you get into this weekend. Hopefully, it won’t be anything next week’s movie can’t fix!
