EDITOR’S NOTE: In the midst of wrapping up everything 2007 I realized the previews for 2008 simply weren’t enough and with our resident Box-Office Oracle, Laremy Legel, spending more time writing for that other site I knew we weren’t getting a top ten or even a worst ten from him, but I figured out a way for him to still contribute a little something to the future outlook of movies. That said, I give you our Box-Office Tale of the Tape. We have quite an undercard and a heavyweight matchup not to be missed. The only question that remains is who will be left standing once all is said and done and will 2008 be able to compare to the great year that was 2007?
Only time will tell… For now, I give you Laremy Legel’s Tale of the Tape 2008:
THE MOVIES: Big Stan vs. Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay
THE ANALYSIS: Rob Schneider directing? The sequel to an unfunny movie, only this time about Gitmo? That’s right, you nailed it, it’s Big Stan vs. Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay on what will one day be known as “The Day the Movies Died.”
The fact is everyone hates Rob Schneider for a reason. Outside of 15 good minutes on “Saturday Night Live” he’s done his best to set comedy back a few decades. Sorry bud, I roll with Ebert. But even more egregious is 1) A Kumar sequel about 2) Something that would have barely been funny circa 2002. It’s almost like I don’t know who to put a contract out on, the environment is far too target rich.
EVENTUAL WINNER: I’m going with Harold and Kumar because I see New Line outspending Yari for marketing dollars. But truly there are no “winners” here. One of the movies has Doogie Howser on the poster and the other can be pretty well summed up by IMDB’s current plot synopsis for the film: This plot synopsis is empty.