Box-Office Oracle: Mar. 24 – Mar. 26

ON

We’ve got three big premiers coming at you with quickness this weekend. Guess what? We’re not talking about two of them. Why? Because they are big ol’ butt. One is about a video game come to life and the other is about some brain dead guy who is a cable guy but is also a health inspector while being a southern stereotype. Brilliant stuff and I’m sure you’ll find riveting information elsewhere. Go for it.

Now, as for the real opener, it’s Inside Man and it will win it all. I didn’t love it but it’s good enough to see and not be really bitter about (unless you were really bitter beforehand). My review will be up soon so you can see other in depth analysis just like that if you read that too. I’m happy Spike Lee is winning this weekend because he’s had to put up with years of bad Knick’s basketball. He deserves some mercy. After that we’re even Steven Spike.

1. Inside Man $21.1m

I haven’t smoked a Spike Lee joint in quite some time. I hope you weren’t looking for anything wittier than that.

2. V for Vendetta $16.8m

My Vendetta is against all the bad movies I have to see to get to ones like this. Like heading in to the hooker house and not finding the pretty gal until day twelve.

3. Shaggy Dog $9.2m

Shaggy Dog, burn in hell, shaggy dog, burn in the fires of hell.

4. Failure to Launch $9.0m

I can’t get enough of this one. Sometimes I see two showings back to back and then pass out from big time glee.

5. Stay Alive $8.9m

Whether you’re a brother or whether you’re a mother I predict you won’t see this.

6. She’s The Man $6.1m

I wonder if she scores the winning goal and then teaches everyone about sexual diversity. Man, I certainly hope so!

7. Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector $5.1m

Why did they let Jeff Foxworthy do another movie?

8. The Hills Have Eyes $3.9m

I don’t mind them having eyes. I mind them touching me.

9. Eight Below $2.5m

HOW ARE YOU STILL AROUND??? AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH.

10. 16 Blocks $2.3

This is the last week we’ll ever see this one on any list so let’s give them a nice big please get the hell out of here and don’t you dare bring your dirt ass around here again, eh?

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Box Office

Weekend: Nov. 15, 2018, Nov. 18, 2018

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