I should have known what I was in for when I saw that one of the supporting actors from Showgirls received top billing in Monsters in the Woods. Nonetheless, I tried to keep an open mind.
The acting is really bad. None of the cast delivers believable or likeable performances. As the film progresses and the characters begin to turn on one another, the acting just gets worse. The direction is awful. Director, Jason Horton fails to get an inspired performance out of any member of his cast. The dialogue is terrible (We were supposed to shoot your shit first. That means first.). The camerawork is terrible. I realize they were going for a found footage feel, for portions of the film, but thats not an excuse for shoddy, atrocious camerawork. The camera is all over the place and scenes fade in and out of focus.
Micro-budget doesnt have to equal bad movie. I am a big fan and supporter of independent filmmaking. Im always willing to excuse some minor flaws in independent cinema. Dead Hooker in a Trunk was made for about $2,500 and its an enjoyable flick that is superior to a lot of films made for much more money. Monsters in the Woods was made for an estimated budget of more than ten times what Hooker was made for, and it falls flat on its face.
For the entirety of its running time, Monsters in the Woods reminded me of one of those softcore porn movies that come on late-night Cinemax. The first five minutes of the film is an over-the-top sex scene. Done with just a modicum of taste, a bedroom scene can help round out a horror film, but this was nothing more than a gratuitous tit shot that served no purpose. If I werent writing a review for this film, I would have turned it off 15 minutes in and watched anything else instead.
The monsters are ridiculous looking. It seems the effects team was trying for a giant bug, reminiscent of the B monster movies of the 50s. But, the monster effects wound up looking cheap, amateur, and thrown together. Almost all of the gore scenes cut away from the action and, instead, show the viewer a shot with the victim just out of sight.
Much of the back story is kept under wraps until the final thirty minutes of the film I dont want to give away any awesome details, but as the plot unravels, it gets more and more preposterous. The mythos surrounding the creatures is completely ludicrous. The back story for the monsters in Monsters in the Woods is reminiscent of what might happen if someone mashed up the plots of Night of the Demons and Starship Troopers. Needless to say, Monsters in the Woods doesnt live up to either of those superior films.
Monsters in the Woods is a prime example of a movie that shouldnt have been made. That the filmmakers found a distributor is baffling to me. I have to ask myself “Who saw this and thought they had a film worthy of distribution?” This is one of the worst movies Ive seen, and I dont throw that statement around lightly. Ive hated a lot of movies, but I hated this more than most. Usually I can find a few redeeming qualities in a film, but other than its short running time, Monsters in the Woods doesnt have a single one. Its like an Asylum film, but with lower production value, worse performances, and even less likeable characters.
The ending was fairly abrupt and seemed to come out of left field, but I was glad to see the end credits roll anyway. Monsters in the Woods is now available on DVD, but dont waste your time. You absolutely will not like it.
