Bobbi Sue: Two hats, one head
Past journal entries:
– Ryan Rotten, Managing Editor
Wow, I can’t believe I am BLOGGIN’ about my movie Laid to Rest! It’s been quite a year in which I have done a lot, seen a lot, learned a lot and well, livedâ¦a lot. The biggest thing that I learned was about being a multi-hyphenate, a dual hat wearer and asking others to do the same. It’s a tough job, but someone’s got to do it, especially in today’s indie movie scene.
Literally a year ago today we were on set filming Laid to Rest. That means months prior, I was prepping this beast nearly 24 hours a day. As the result of having virtually no money to complete this task, I had to put my tiny little finger in every single pie. There was not a department that I DIDN’T do a little something on. What a crash course this was in my pursuit of filmmaking and acting! So much of it I would change, so much of it I wouldn’t, but the end result is the same, a real honest to god movie that was made with a lot of blood (literally) sweat and tears. Love it or not, we did it when most people talk and try which is an amazing attribute to every single person on our crew.
The feeling of walking on your set and having such big shoes to fill is so unbelievably scary, so much scarier than any of our favorite villains in our most cherished DVD box sets. The pressure of walking around the corner and under the lights, feeling the stare of your fellow cast and crew is a scary, scary place to be. But, I will say it is also equally as exhilarating. Knowing these people have your back and that you are in fact NOT in a dream – that this is very real – takes you back to a place of innocence; A place where you once lived as a child with hopes and dreams and now as an adult, you’re living them.
On set, as an actor, I lived in a haze of exhaustion. I arrived on set at 4 pm going immediately into the make-up chair before any of the other crew was to arrive, worked all night then wrapped at around 8 or 9 am. I then went into the production office to help clean up loose ends, make payments and work as a producer, sometimes until 1 or 2 in the afternoon! Finally I would grab a quick sleep and do it all over again. This lasted for four to six days a week. I must have slept for 2 days straight after we wrapped without waking up. When I finally did resurface, I had nothing to say. Everyone was like “What is wrong with you. Are you ok?” I wasn’t. I was sad, I missed my surrogate family but yet I couldn’t be happier to be completed – how f**ked up of an emotional roller coaster is that?! This is the funny thing about making a movie, you are so sad when it’s finished but can’t wait for it to be over with. The duality serving as your guide to insanity…
As a producer, my job, as you can see here, is still not finished. Even though we delivered our Master cut, the DVDs are printed and our premiÃ¨re date is set, I have daily up-to-the-minute producer duties ranging from the mundane to the insane. The energy has shifted to focus on something different today than it was, let’s say, yesterday but still it’s all for the same end result. I don’t foresee my duties as a producer ending for at least a few months. The DVD drops here on April 21st, but when it drops internationally, many, many more interviews, press outings, signings and plane rides in my future.
It’s so weird, waking up to do interviews for your movie, that you feel like you just finished, reading reviews (positive and negative) and generally riding the wave all the way to the shore. Man! It’s a bumpy ride! It’s so hard to listen to the positive and not the negative. I would encourage future bloggers, some of whom will rip me at the bottom of this very page, to think things through before you post. Because well, generally people do have feelings that make movies, I know it seems like a ridiculous concept. But trust me, whether they create killing machines on screen or not, these ruthless bastards are alas, not heartless.
So back to that dual hat wearing thing. All I can really come up with is a…long…sigh. It is completely unavoidable when you’re making your own movie and, man, it is exhausting! I doubt I will ever star AND produce at the same time again. It is incredibly difficult and something I would not expect others to do as it is not for the faint of heart. I will say this. I am so happy I did. I was a challenge I was completely up for and I am so glad I took myself up on my own challenge.
In closing, I guess I will give a few bullet points for those of you wanting to know what I learned: 1.) Just do it. Take what you can, use what you have and follow your dreams. 2.) Believe in what you do. Everything is so subjective, everyone has an opinion so at the end of the day make sure you do what you love and love what you do. 3.) Work hard. Some good old fashioned work ethic can get you a long way in doing the above numbers 2 and 3. And finally, last but not least…if your at the L.A. FANGORIA convention this week, stop by and say ‘Hi.’ I want to hear your thoughts and I want to meet you. I love my horror peeps and want to know more of the people that I do what I do for.