The Maiden Heist


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Rating: PG-13

Christopher Walken as Roger Barlow
Morgan Freeman as Charles
Marcia Gay Harden
William H. Macy as George McLendon
Breckin Meyer as Starving Artist
Wynn Everett as Docent
Lauren E. Clarke as Jordan Smalt – Museum Guard
Todd Weeks as The Curator
Chuck Slavin as Frank
Bhavesh Patel as Donnie
Fraser Townley as Milton LeRouge
Luis Moco as Allen
Anthony Cascio as Tony Bargello
Stephen E. Stapinski as Bob

Special Features:
Director, Writer and Producer Commentary

In The Presence of Art: Making The Maiden Heist Featurette

Deleted Scenes with Optional Commentary

Blooper Reel

Other Info:
Widescreen (2.40:1)
Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround Sound
Running Time: 90 Minutes

The Details:
The following is the official description of the film:

“It was a stroke of genius. But now the perfect crime is turning into a perfect disaster in this madcap comedy featuring Academy Award winners Morgan Freeman (Best Supporting Actor, ‘Million Dollar Baby,’ 2004), Christopher Walken (Best Supporting Actor, ‘The Deer Hunter,’ 1978), Marcia Gay Harden (Best Supporting Actress, ‘Pollock,’ 2000) and Academy Award nominee William H. Macy (Best Supporting Actor, ‘Fargo,’ 1996). Charles, Roger and George are the very picture of honest security guards. But when they learn their favorite artworks are being sent to another museum, they concoct a plan to switch the real masterpieces with fakes. All goes well until a mistake forces these first-time thieves into a last-minute escapade in the comedy caper that proves you’re never too old to have some new fun.”

“The Maiden Heist” is rated PG-13 for some strong language, nudity and brief fantasy violence.

I think if anyone besides Walken, Freeman, and Macy had starred in “The Maiden Heist”, the film would not be worth watching. The basic concept is clever. A group of aging security guards plot to steal three works of art that they have become enamored with over their years of working at an art museum. As fun as that sounds, the execution is pretty bland. They plot to swap the art with fakes, they throw in a few aging jokes along the way, they execute a near flawless robbery, then have a major foul-up at the end. It’s like a boring “Ocean’s 11.”

It’s really Walken, Freeman, and Macy that make it interesting. Christopher Walken has the most screentime as Roger Barlow. He’s utterly enamored with a painting of a woman. He fantasizes about saving her from thieves, he knows every detail about her, and she’s the one thing that makes his life worth living. In order to swipe the painting, he’s willing to steal from his wife’s Florida vacation fund. He’s well paired with Marcia Gay Harden who plays his wife. This is the most over the top I’ve ever seen Harden, but she brings some fun comic relief to the story, especially when she’s thrown in with Freeman and Macy towards the end. Morgan Freeman is also great as Charles, another art aficionado and co-conspirator. He seems to be the only one with true artistic talent among the group, yet he’s equally obsessed with his painting. As sophisticated as he is, he’s just as unstable as the other guys. Then there’s William H. Macy as George McLendon, a former SEAL who now is fixated upon a statue in the museum. Now I like Macy a lot, but I’ve seen just about enough of his bare butt in movies. You see it several times more in “The Maiden Heist.” It gets to the point where it starts feeling like a desperate attempt to get laughs. Other than that, these guys make a solid comedy team.

If you’re looking for a light comedy, “The Maiden Heist” will fit the bill. Fans of Walken, Freeman, and Macy will also enjoy seeing their favorite actors get a bit silly. But if you’re looking for an elaborate heist comedy, you should stick with “Ocean’s 11”.

Among the bonus features you’ll find the standard offerings – a crew commentary, deleted scenes, a blooper reel, and a ‘making of’ featurette.