‘Monsters: Dark Continent’ (2015) Movie Review

Before he directed the Godzilla remake, Gareth Edwards made a small sci-fi film called Monsters, which was released back in 2010. Made on a reported budget of only $500,000, it was more of a relationship drama than anything else, as aliens had taken over Mexico and two people attempted to make their way out of the “Infected Zone” and into the United States. It was a decent enough movie, showcasing more the talent of Edwards and, at the time, newcomer Scoot McNairy, but in the end it was a slight picture, hindered more by its budget than anything else.

Now, five years later, Edwards has moved on (next up is the Star Wars spin-off Rogue One) and director Tom Green has picked up the Monsters mantle with Monsters: Dark Continent. Similar to the first film, the focus isn’t on the aliens, which appear to have become a global threat, but more on a small Army platoon as they set out on a mission to save four missing soldiers, but I’m getting ahead of myself. After all, that small bit of information doesn’t actually become known to the audience until 40 minutes into this two hour monstrosity.

Green and the screenplay’s co-writer, Jay Basu, seem to have zero idea as to what they are doing or how to set up a coherent narrative and establish characters. We first meet Michael (Sam Keeley) as he’s firing off rounds into a concrete wall in a decimated Detroit. The next closest thing to a “character” would probably be Sean (Parker Sawyers) whose girlfriend just had a kid. Oh, and there’s Frankie (Joe Dempsie), whom we first meet through a bedroom window as he’s having sex with his girlfriend, Lena (Lulu Dahl) up against the wall. Frankie, Lena and Michael have a conversation through the window. You know, just the usual stuff. Who are these people? Oh, just “stray dogs” of Detroit if we’re to believe Michael’s overwrought voice over, which continues on to tell us how thirsty for war they all are.

These fellas, along with Karl Inkelaar (Kyle Soller) are all about to have their first tour in the Middle East, fighting off insurgents while at the same time attempting to stay clear of the monsters. Of course this means the first order of business is a shouty dress down by their superior officers, Staff Sgt. Frater (Johnny Harris) on his eighth tour (you know what that means) and Sgt. Forrest (Nicholas Pinnock) who’s pretty much just a loudmouth. Frater loves, loves, loves to yell as well as walk up and sucker punch people and say things like, “You think this is a fucking game!” and Forrest tells about the Sybian he bought his girlfriend so she’d be satisfied sexually in his absence. There’s also a ridiculous football game that could have been nixed, but editing clearly wasn’t a top priority on this one.

As we bounce through a tiresome narrative that includes a couple of early missions before getting to the real reason we’re watching this movie, Green slathers the landscape with some of the worst music choices I’ve heard in some time. It’s evident from the opening credits this film is going to have music issues as there are times it wants to give off the perspective of being quiet and introspective, but for the majority of the duration can’t get away from wanting to appeal to the people that tuned in for an adrenaline filled actioner.

The only redeeming aspect is Christopher Ross‘ cinematography as he captures a lot of stark and beautiful wide shots that really could have been something had this film been as sentimental and thoughtful as it seems to think it is. Otherwise, it plays like a Hurt Locker and Zero Dark Thirty wannabe with an occasional monster sighting and I’m not the least bit interested in exploring any metaphorical significance between the monsters, locals and U.S. military that Green may have wanted me to consider, this movie is far too senseless for me to waste my time.

It’s not often I feel a movie is a complete waste of time, but Monsters: Dark Continent is a numbing experience without purpose. It’s a half-baked war film, marketed and masquerading as a monster movie and, even worse, as a sequel to Edwards’ original of which it seems to have only the title in common. Frought with dead and dying children, animal gutting, musical cues making it seem like an R-rated movie meant for a tone deaf audience this is an experience I would rather forget altogether.

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