Here’s a shocker, The Love Guru stinks. Yeah, it’s no good. But you already knew that, and if you clicked to read this review you just wanted to see how mean I was going to be in describing how bad it truly is. Well, I don’t have the energy for it, but I will say it is amazing it took Mike Myers a reported three years to “perfect” his first live-action persona since 2003’s bomb The Cat in the Hat. Myers even went so far as to play a philosopher of Eastern religion in New York and Los Angeles, where some unsuspecting passersby sought his advice. Unfortunately for Mike, Guru Pitka is an SNL skit and nothing more.
The film centers around Toronto Maple Leafs hockey star Darren Roanoke played by Romany Malco, who you may remember from The 40-Year-Old Virgin and he played Tina Fey’s doorman in Baby Mama. Roanoke is having girl troubles and it has turned his game to shit. Leafs owner, Jane Bullard, played by the dullard Jessica Alba then employs Guru Pitka (the self-proclaimed “Love Guru”) to come and help Roanoke get over his troubles.
However, Roanoke’s troubles aren’t his alone; they’re yours too, because you are watching them unfold. The Love Guru is an insult to comedy as it relies on dick jokes almost every five minutes and takes us back to the old familiar well with Verne “Mini Me” Troyer playing the head coach of the Leafs. Ha, ha, he’s short. Yeah, good joke. Then there is the poop. This is a film that features an elephant pooping… Hope you are laughing now, because if you aren’t you have been warned. If that doesn’t convince you, perhaps the fight with urine soaked mops will be enough to deter you from watching this trash.
I have been told that The Love Guru is a film that very closely matches a Bollywood film. I wasn’t sure if this was a compliment or an insult, but I can tell you it isn’t a good sign considering Bollywood films would be called Hollywood films if American audiences wanted to watch them.
There are a few laughs here and there. Some people found humor in the music videos featuring Pitka playing a recognizable ’80s tune on his sitar and the animated hockey team logo graphics killing one another was rather unique. Beyond that it is hard to find anything to laugh about, besides how hard Paramount is trying to market this film as a comedy.
