One thing to consider when naming your highly generic crime thriller is to try and avoid titles that make it easier for film critics, or anyone for that matter, to twist it into some generic, yet appropriate, bit of word play. Take Untraceable for instance, words such as “unwatchable”, “unbearable”, “unendurable” and “bad” all (except for that clever last one) take advantage of the title as well as describe the film quite well. Had the film been titled Unwatchable from the start this would have cleverly stolen this bit of fun from critics from the start, as well as prepared us all for what was to come.
You see, with Untraceable we are introduced to a cyber-terrorist who has obviously watched his share of films from the Saw franchise and has taken to killing people using America’s infatuation for online videos as the weapon. This genius has set up a website that can stream live high-quality video feeds using servers located in Russia that is apparently “untraceable”. How he has managed to set up a website that can service nearly 20 million people at once with live streaming video is something he certainly should consider sharing with folks at Microsoft and Apple, because that is quite a feat. I don’t bring this up to only poke holes in the logic of Untraceable, but when you create a film hell bent on spewing computer jargon all over the screen and try to pass it off as tech-savvy you really should try for a screenplay that doesn’t pass trained FBI agents as idiots going through the motions.
Forgetting the logic for a second let’s take a look at the characters, all of which are so paper thin and transparent you will have a hard time ever cheering for any of them. It’s a shame to watch as Diane Lane has gone from an Oscar nominated actress in 2002 to an actress starring in films that don’t even make it to the big screen (Fierce People), and when they do they end up being as bad as Untraceable. This is a film that introduces you to characters, but your overall lack of emotional attachment to any of them leaves you cold and without a care as to which one of them will fall into the killer’s trap next.
Director Gregory Hoblit has also seen his career nosedive since he directed the fantastic Primal Fear back in 1996 and moderately entertaining Fallen back in 1998. For those that don’t know him by name you may know him but his crap release last year called Fracture starring Anthony Hopkins and Ryan Gosling, another thriller that never managed to get over itself and just tell a story.
Unfortunately for Untraceable and most films of its ilk these days, it is too intent on trying to scare you or keep you on edge that it forgets about its audience. Christopher Young’s foreboding score is way too loud and always around to remind you that anything could pop out from anywhere at any moment. Oh no, don’t look now, it could be the killer. Untraceable is cookie cutter, which isn’t really a bad thing, but when “C.S.I.” has 24 episodes a season more thrilling than one measly attempt at thrills in the theater you should really reconsider what you are making.
Finally, look at that poster above. If that isn’t enough to tell you to stay away then I give up.
