Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is not a bad movie. But it is a bad movie against expectations, and it has a more limited audience enjoyment factor than you might think. If you want to skip all the explanation here is your takeaway: Turtles will be good for families. Turtles will not be good for adults. Turtles also won’t be good for adult fans of the prior version. That’s the verdict, plain and simple.
The comic book debuted in 1984 but the Turtles gained national prominence with the 1987 animated series. I became a fan with the advent of Turtle power on the television and enjoyed the first movie way back in 1990. The problem with the movie is, unlike Batman, the franchise clearly has devolved from its beginnings. The characters haven’t grown with the generation that started watching them initially. This CGI story is made for today’s ten year olds. To me this is a pretty awkward choice, I understand the need to grab the box office dollars, but couldn’t both needs have been serviced? What about a PG-13 Turtles? Brad mentioned that the filmmakers would have been happy to make an R Turtles but that the studio (which owns the rights) wouldn’t allow it. Well guys, if I ever make my first billion I’d be happy to give you a shot at doing so. Because this version is forgettable.
The plot of this kid friendly version is the turtles looking to re-unite the family. Leonardo is off training in Central America and each of the turtles is running amok in their own way. Donatello is running an IT help desk. Michelangelo is a kid’s birthday performer, and Rafael is fighting crime on his own. The film deals with Shredder not appearing in the film in the first few frames, another huge bummer that didn’t need to happen. And of course, if you’ve just recently heard of movies, the whole thing is a CGI animation. There is a villain, a set of villains really, but since you’ve never heard of any of them within the life cycle of the series I’m not going to get into them.
TMNT does look very good but it doesn’t mine any new ground on the CGI front, unless you count numerous shots of Turtles dashing across the rooftops. I don’t. The 90 minute running time is mercifully short and will help the movie scoop up the family dollar this weekend. It’s the other dollars that shouldn’t go its direction.
If you’re a parent who used to be a Turtleite then you’re obligated to go. I got seven laughs during the film, one every thirteen minutes, and I can’t really point to another factor besides boredom that was annoying. The story proceeds along expectedly and nothing nearing controversy or innovation is attempted or achieved. But overall, for families, this is a green light because your little ones will enjoy it (up to the age of about twelve I’d guess).If you’re a 20 to 30 something who enjoyed the original series I’d leave this one in the sewer. If you’re an adult that wasn’t a fan in the first place and just wants a movie recommendation for the weekend I’d suggest Reign Over Me instead. That’s a film for adults. This isn’t.
