Top Ten Worst Movies of 2012 (That I Saw)


Wrath of the Titans

Rosamund Pike in Wrath of the Titans
Rosamund Pike in Wrath of the Titans
Photo: Warner Bros.

In a very small way I feel bad about using a picture of Rosamund Pike to represent Wrath of the Titan‘s spot on this list, but her character (Queen Andromeda) in this film is so laughable it’s the one aspect that stands out more than the rest now that we’re nine months removed from its theatrical release.

Wrath of the Titans was another film I had to be reminded was even released in 2012 and while I remember the awful nature of Pike’s character, I can’t help but wonder what will become of Sam Worthington. The guy’s choice in movies is hardly stellar beyond the obvious roles in Avatar and Terminator Salvation, which no young actor would turn down. Nevertheless, with Man on a Ledge and Wrath of the Titans on his 2012 resume, he may have a hard time using either to find work in the future.

REVIEW SNIPPET: (read the full review here)

If audiences end up supporting this film to any great extent beyond opening weekend we all deserve everything we get, be it demons from hell or a Clash of the Titans 3. Wrath of the Titans makes Transformers look like Masterpiece Theatre. Not even those audience members that use the weak excuse, “Well, what did you expect?” can get away with that here. This is a film that may easily go down as one of the worst of 2012 and to realize that this early in the year is quite an accomplishment.

Taken 2

Liam Neeson in Taken 2
Liam Neeson in Taken 2
Photo: 20th Century Fox

At what point does a movie become so bad it’s good? I’d argue Taken 2 comes close, but in order for that to be true wouldn’t you have to watch it with someone else? Otherwise isn’t it just torture?

Depending on your mood, perhaps a film wherein a family is kidnapped and the daughter begins blowing up Istanbul with grenades before playing Gran Turismo in the streets is right up your alley. Adding to that mayhem, how about a film where a man is surrounded by a bunch of goons meant to capture him, and is allowed to have a phone conversation at gun point as seen in the picture above? Either way, someone may watch this film a second time and Taken 3 will surely be put into production, but my god is Taken 2 a blight on the filmmaking landscape.

REVIEW SNIPPET: (read the full review here)

Every step of the way, while watching this film I was either cringing or laughing or both. It’s a mess and I would never suggest anyone watch it. If you want a ridiculous Luc Besson-produced feature that is dumb, yet fun, check out Lockout on Blu-ray. It will save you some money and even give you a slightly better cinematic experience.

Taken 2 is a heartbeat away from being awful. Out of the kindness of my heart and due to the laughter it provided me I couldn’t fail it entirely, though it probably deserves just that.

Red Dawn

Josh Peck in Red Dawn
Josh Peck in Red Dawn
Photo: MGM

The log on top of this pile of dung is Red Dawn, a film that could probably convince you MGM’s financial woes were all in the interest of hoping this film would never see the light of day. FilmDistrict must have gotten one hell of a bargain when they agreed to distribute it because one look at this film and you realize you’re in for a world of hurt. Chris Hemsworth (The Avengers) and Josh Hutcherson (The Hunger Games) can count their blessings this one sat on the shelf long enough for them to find a home in a couple of popular franchises because I’m not sure the career of Josh Peck can be revived.

REVIEW SNIPPET: (read the full review here)

[Josh] Hutcherson, however, looks like an Oscar winner next to Josh Peck whose B-boy, “too cool for school” nature is so off-putting and unnatural you may as well have used a cardboard cutout for all the authenticity his performance adds to the feature. The picture would be better served with him performing fourth-rate rap battles in the background of each scene rather than playing the whiny, love-struck brother of [Chris] Hemsworth’s character.

The only compliment I can give this film is to say it has some decent pyrotechnics, which is to say in terms Peck’s character would understand… “Yo! They blowed stuff up real good son!” Well, that, and Jeffrey Dean Morgan leading a trio of Marines alongside the middle school militia toward the end of the film prevent it from being an overall failure.

And that does it for my list. Here is the top ten once again in order.
  1. Red Dawn
  2. Taken 2
  3. Wrath of the Titans
  4. Alex Cross
  5. The Raven
  6. The Apparition
  7. Trouble with the Curve
  8. Piranha 3DD
  9. Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax
  10. Seeking a Friend for the End of the World

Previous Year Top Ten “Worst of” Lists

I haven’t made a “Worst Of” every year I’ve run this site. In 2009 I only made Most Disappointing lists, which explains the gap in the list below, but feel free to relive my pain from previous years if you so desire.

  1. Worst Films of 2011: Part Two: The Top Ten
  2. Worst Films of 2010
  3. Worst Films of 2008
  4. Worst Films of 2007
  5. Worst Films of 2005
  6. Worst Films of 2004
  7. Worst Films of 2003

I can only hope most of you were able to stay away from the majority of the stinkers that played in theaters this year, but as we all know sometimes we all make a mistake, which means it’s now your turn. What were the worst films you saw in theaters this year? Speak now and make sure others don’t follow in your footsteps…

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