I saw the new Vince Vaughn/Reese Witherspoon holiday comedy Four Christmases the other night. To be perfectly blunt, other than a few decent gags and some relatively impressive verbal gymnastics I didn’t care for it. At all. It was, for all intents and purposes, 82-minutes I am unfortunately never going to get back, and while I’ve seen plenty worse movies this year that still doesn’t mean I should candy coat my feelings one little bit.
So, with that in mind, when I say that Four Christmases is up there with something like The Godfather or Citizen Kane in comparison to Vaughn’s last yuletide comedy Fred Claus that should go along way to describing the full scope of my detest for that 2007 monstrosity. Easily one of the worst holiday pictures ever made (easily up there with Santa Claus: The Movie and Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, but still not quite as heinous Deck the Halls), I can’t imagine anyone thinking purchasing this film on DVD or Blu-ray would be even close to an outstanding idea.
Nothing about this film works. It’s poorly scripted and co-writer/director David Dobkin does nothing to enliven the proceedings beyond the mediocre. The special effects are minor and the final moments are so underwhelming and forced they play like thankfully excised vignettes from one of Tim Allen’s The Santa Claus features. It is, without a doubt, a true waste of time, and even with all the acting talent on display there isn’t a single solitary reason that this one could ever be construed as worthwhile.
Admittedly, it is an amazing cast. Vaughn (playing St. Nick’s big bro Fred) is joined by Oscar nominees Paul Giamatti (Santa Claus) and Miranda Richardson (Santa’s wife) and Oscar winners Rachel Weisz (Fred’s girlfriend Wanda), Kevin Spacey (efficiency expert Clyde Northcut) and Kathy Bates (Mama Claus), a lineup of talented pros most film’s would kill for. But other than a few nifty moments here and there Dobkin does nothing with any of them and seeing them all fail so miserably would be kind of impressive if it wasn’t so depressing.
As many of his signature roles have already proven, Vaughn is one of the best improvisational funnymen working today. His razor sharp line delivery has real zing when it put to good use, but that isn’t the case with this one. Some of what he says borders on being so sexually suggestive and adult you have to wonder who exactly this supposed family flick is for. This isn’t Bad Santa, after all, so when some of the gags have some of the same adult colorfulness I can’t help but wonder what the heck is going on.
The Warner Bros. Blu-ray is technically impressive. The image is sharp and clear and the audio is certainly top of the line. The disc is also packed with extras, and if there are actually any people out there who like this one I’m sure they’re going to be pleased as punch with the lot of them. Personally, I find watching 25-minutes of deleted scenes for a movie I don’t like in the slightest like listening to nails on a chalkboard, and if I have to endure another audio commentary with Dobkin where all he does is drip platitudes about how great his star is I think I’ll hit myself in the forehead with a frying pan.
I, however, will admit to liking a featurette on the film’s famous celebrity sibling cameos featuring Vaughn, Stephen Baldwin, Roger Clinton and Frank Stallone. It made me laugh, far more than the movie ever did, so I guess that’s something.
Fred Claus is a bad movie. As films celebrating the magic of the Christmas holiday are concerned this one is far more naughty than nice, and even if you offered the clerk at the Best Buy a lump of coal to purchase it you’d still be paying more than the Blu-ray is actually worth.
