There has been a lot of trash running around the Internet lately and I just didn’t have the nerve to post it all, but tonight I am feeling spry and one article in particular forced me to decide to hammer out a new Rumor Mill Roundup since I didn’t want to waste an entire post talking about it.
The story I refer to is Josh Tyler’s at CinemaBlend headlined “5 Reasons To Skip Quantum Of Solace” and I won’t waste any time quickly getting to the five ridiculous points:
- “It’s Called Quantum Of Solace” – So we base our movie-going decisions on titles now
- “Nothing New Here. Move Along.” – This is where he says:
[If] you’ve seen The Bourne Ultimatum then you’ve seen most of the best parts of this movie already. Some of the action scenes are quite literally shot for shot remakes of stuff already done by Matt Damon.
Well, if you’ve seen The Bourne Supremacy you’ve seen “most of the best parts” (that phrase kills me) of The Bourne Ultimatum a film Tyler gave five stars. Can anyone tell me why I wouldn’t want to see a movie compared to a five star movie?
- “This Movie Is Neither Stirred Nor Shaken” – No catchphrases or gadgets? This is the best you have for me?
- “Olga Kurylenko” – “She’s that girl from every bad videogame movie, and her hotness has long since been drained by her numerous appearances in shit.” That just makes me laugh, she is no longer attractive because she was in Hitman and Max Payne and therefore don’t see Quantum of Solace.
- “Zack and Miri Make a Porno is Still In Theaters” – I think this is where he gave up and decided he didn’t have enough for a top ten, let alone a top five.
Is the article tongue-in-cheek? He certainly seems serious. However, I think we have spent enough time on it… Let’s move on shall we?
I linked to IGN’s version in an earlier article, but I have since seen a pair of reviews of the 20 minutes of footage from J.J. Abrams’ Star Trek that was shown in the UK. You can get IGN’s version here if you haven’t read it yet and “The Guardian” weighed in with their thoughts as well right here. Ben Childs’ “Guardian” piece has a great opening comparing Star Trek to The Dark Knight saying:
It’s highly probable that JJ Abrams had not seen The Dark Knight when he began work on his forthcoming Star Trek reboot. But he must have been chuckling to himself when he did finally check it out. While Abrams’ movie is unlikely to top Christopher Nolan’s film for moody brilliance, it is already ahead in at least one area.
Of the 20 minutes or so of footage screened for the press this morning at an event hosted by Abrams, the standout action scene was a bravura set piece featuring Kirk (Chris Pine) and Sulu (John Cho) landing on a platform in the Vulcan desert. In The Dark Knight, Nolan had his hero leap out of a moving plane and into a skyscraper. Abrams goes one better: he has his characters skydiving … from space.
Oh, and if you didn’t know, the next Star Trek trailer will be online on Monday.
Next up we have the official plot synopsis for X-Men Origins: Magneto:
The original X-Men film began with a prologue that showed the character as a child being led to a concentration camp by Nazis and that is the period in which the Magneto film will take place. This setup will allow a future villain to at least flirt with the designation of protagonist since the character will be seen almost exclusively in his formative years.
The storyline will heavily involve Professor X, the wheelchair-using X-Men leader. That character was a soldier in the allied force that liberated the concentration camps. The professor meets Magneto after the war and while they bond over the realization that they are alike in their special powers, their differences soon turn them into enemies.”
I found this next one funny based on the site it is hosted on as Bloody-Disgusting is trying to get in on the Twilight game by classifying it as a horror film, and posting the recent footage that aired during “Heroes”. You can check that out here. Just look at the logo made of a table saw and covered in blood, watch the clip, look back at the logo, cock your head and say, “What the fuck?”
Next we come to the Wonder Woman news I avoided like the plague as Beyonce weighed in saying she would like to play the Amazonian Princess and IESB.net reports they have heard rumors that McG wants to direct it. This, of course, comes after one fan took the time to try and convince the world Megan Fox was going to play Wonder Woman with the fake poster and website found at Wonder-Who.com.
There’s a rumor out there that Ennio Morricone may score Quentin Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds.
Harry Potter fan sites have been scanning new images from “2009 Harry Potter Agenda Book” and a new Harry Potter sticker book, which can be found here and here.
QUICK HITS: James Cameron’s Avatar will be seen in IMAX 3-D, the Wolverine teaser expected on Day the Earth Stood Still (12/12), a pic of The Hard Master from G.I. Joe is here and “Lost” is set to return on Wednesday, Jan. 21.
Finally, I leave you with this bit of video genius courtesy of Slashfilm. Yes, that is the Brett Ratner and the Michael Jackson:
