Top Ten R-Rated Comedies… With a Twist

My sheltered childhood put to good use…

Well, perhaps a bit of self-revelation is in order considering the nature of this top ten. I am 31-years-old and extremely immature. However, I blame all of that on my parents because that is what you do when you aren’t “acting your age”.

Immature? Parents’ fault. Pervert? Parents’ fault. Dumb? Parents’ fault. Voting for John McCain? Your fault. Gay? Parents’ fault. Straight? Parents’ fault. Whatever it is that is perceived to be good or bad about you it is best to blame it on your parents. Of course, with that one exception.

Now, I know the new age of parents out there think this is an out-dated way of looking at the child-rearing process (no, that doesn’t mean pulling a child out of your butt). You’re thinking, “Fuck that, my kids are fucked up because of the video games and all the Marilyn Manson music.” I sympathize and I blame your ignorance on your parents. See, the cycle works even if you are too stupid to know it.

As a result of my upbringing movies had a profound effect on my life, or not on my life depending on how you look at it. Growing up in the ’80s many kids my age were allowed to watch whatever they wanted. All the Brat Pack flicks, never saw them. Alien, Risky Business, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th, The Terminator, the list goes on and on and on… I never saw any of them when they were released in theaters because my mom wouldn’t let me. I wasn’t old enough and for me to see any film with questionable content my mom had to watch it first and give it the thumbs up. Of course this didn’t matter much because I was into sports, but it just meant that once I became old enough I was just getting caught up with all the immature films I missed in the ’80s and let’s face it, the immaturity in films went up a notch or two in the ’90s and ever since.

Personally I think of myself as more of a product of the ’90s than of the ’80s. Luckily, I am able to now take my deprived childhood and use it for content on my movie news website as I bring you the top ten R-rated comedies my mom wouldn’t let me watch.

The idea for the list came about as this week comes the new R-rated raunchy comedy Sex Drive, which I haven’t seen yet but looks like it is in the same vein as Road Trip, which I loved (see, immature), with the raunch of American Pie and is definitely a film my mom would not have let me see. Hell, I remember she used to get mad at me if I talked on the phone with a girl. Granted, I was 4-years-old and running a brothel out of my dad’s den, but that’s beside the point. Shit was messed up, because I was making bank!

Nevertheless, here is a list of ten great films that would have distorted me as a child but as a result of not seeing them I turned into what is quite possibly the most upstanding of citizens focused on doing good and making this world a better place. To give you an idea of what we are talking about here are a few films that were under consideration and didn’t make the list: Kentucky Fried Movie, Bull Durham, I’m Gonna Git You Sucka, Cheech and Chong’s Up in Smoke, Slap Shot, Monty Python’s Life of Brian, MASH, Beverly Hills Cop, Stripes, This Is Spinal Tap, Animal House, Blazing Saddles and Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life.

Finally, let’s thank Sex Drive for sponsoring this top ten. Here is the not safe for work red band trailer if you want to give it a watch as something of a commercial intermission before you get started on the top ten. Sex Drive is in theaters on October 17. The list continues on the next page using the links below the video.

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