The Next Videogame Adaptation: PONG!!!

With today’s news that CP Productions has optioned the rights to turn “Joust,” an arcade game that first debuted in 1982, from publisher Midway Games, into a feature film it was time to let the cat out of the bag. Lakeshore Entertainment has nabbed the feature film rights for the classic videogame “Pong”.

Originally launched in arcades in the early ’70s by Atari, “Pong” has stood the test of time and will now make its way to the big screen with Resident Evil: Extinction helmer Russell Mulcahy aboard to direct.

Lakeshore was first approached about the film by Guinevere Turner (Bloodrayne) who wrote the script after she saw the “Pong” tutorial featured below on YouTube.

“I had been trying forever to master ‘Pong’, but could never quite figure it out,” Turner said. “Finally I began searching online for strategy guides, or anything that would help me out, when I came across this YouTube video that had all the answers. Needless to say I thought it would make a great film. Since watching the video I have mastered the ‘Sidewinder,’ the ‘Spolied Lamb’ and teleporting is now a regular thing for me. Who would I be if I didn’t share this with the world?”

The high-concept storyline is being kept well guarded, but apparently there are rumors that the ball will be made of some kind of synthetic soy-based rubber while the pong paddles themselves will retain the rectangular shape as seen in the game. It was also said that this will be an origin story with an eye for several sequels in the future.

“I don’t want to deviate from the story the game created,” Mulcahy said. “Guinevere has written a heart-wrenching story of obsession and loss that can only be told on film.”

Casting has not yet been announced, but ILM is reportedly in a heated battle with Rhythm and Hues to supply the film with CGI effects.

Mulcahy is expected to get started on Pong: A Story of Obsession once he finishes production on the recently announced Scorpion King prequel, The Scorpion King: Rise of the Akkadian with production expected to start on October 1 in South Africa.

Turner’s scripting background includes work on The Notorious Betty Paige as well as American Psycho.

NOTE: This article is satirical and meant for entertainment purposes only. All individual and company involvement is fictional. However, they are actually setting out to make a video game adaptation of “Joust” in which one or two players control a knight on a flying ostrich who combats flying buzzards. If that doesn’t deserve being made fun of then I don’t know what does. You can see actual game play footage below or give it a shot yourself right here. If you want a game of “Pong” here is a Java based version.

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