So here we are… The day has finally come that I let you all in on the big secret as to who the top ten Bond Girls are. Granted, I don’t think the number one spot will be a huge surprise but I hope I throw a few curveballs at you so this doesn’t seem like a complete waste of your time. After all, you are getting girl info, movie info, DVD info and looks at actual screenshots from the DVDs this entire time. What more can you ask for?
So, without further delay let’s take a look at the top ten Bond Girls of all time, and don’t just rush down to the bottom for the number one girl. Take your time, enjoy your stay as I try to dig a bit deeper with each of the rankings… and if you haven’t checked out the other 30 girls yet be sure to do so with the navigation at the top and bottom of this article.
“A TRIBUTE” Miss Moneypenny
Before we got to the top ten I thought a tribute was in order to the one “Bond Girl” that actually shows up in every one of the first 20 James Bond films… Miss Moneypenny. She has been played by three different actresses throughout the first 20 films and did not show up in 2006’s Casino Royale. Throughout the first 14 films she was played by Canadian actress Lois Maxwell, following Maxwell was Caroline Bliss who starred in the two Timothy Dalton Bond films and then the ironically named Samantha Bond took over the role for the four Bond films starring Pierce Brosnan. While this isn’t an official ranking you can think of it as a tribute to a Bond Gal that we have all come to know and expect just about every time out of the gates…
You already saw her at the #23 spot two days ago for her part as Octopussy in the movie with the same name, but Maud Adams had a much more appealing role as Andrea Anders in The Man with the Golden Gun. Anders is the girlfriend of baddie Francisco Scaramanga played by Christopher Lee and she is the reason Bond becomes interested in Scaramanga when she sends Bond a note and a golden bullet engraved with 007. The note is seemingly from Scaramanga and when Bond believes the assassin means to kill him the game begins. However, this is a side note in a much larger story but it gives us reason to see Anders get busy with the commander, all while Mary Goodnight is in the closet (unbeknownst to Anders). Although she is ultimately killed due to her treachery Anders is one of the sexier Bond Girls and well deserving of her spot at #10.
Yet another girl who has received mention already on the list when we referenced her sister Tilly back at #32. Too bad for us though Tilly is the Masterson sister that lived while Jill was painted in gold at the beginning of Goldfinger. At the beginning of the film we meet Jill as she is posing as Goldfinger’s girlfriend and helping him cheat in a game of Gin Rummy. Then Bond breaks into the room and proceeds to humiliate Goldfinger and win Jill’s affection just as she has won ours wearing a black bikini and showing off a killer body. Unfortunately Goldfinger gets his revenge when he sends Oddjob up to knock out Bond and paint Jill entirely in gold and suffocating her skin which ultimately kills her. While her stay in the film is short it is a beginning we will never forget.
She’s a plain Jane, but Daniela Bianchi has a scene in From Russia with Love that makes me want her. After a conversation with Bond she takes his tie and holds it in her teeth with a smile that will absolutely give any Bond viewer a rush. Tatiana Romanova isn’t without the necessary sex appeal that comes with a Bond Girl either. Just you imagine that a corporal in Soviet Army Intelligence is feeding you covert information and can’t stop saying things like, “The mechanism is… Oh [your name here]… Will you make love to me all the time in England?” Yeah, I thought so. James is such a pimp he simply sloughs it off saying, “Day and night. Go on about the mechanism.” There you go James, keep her in suspense!
If you are going to even try and say anything about Dominique “Domino” Derval coming in at #7 let me just say this – Runner Up at the 1958 Miss World. Yeah, who else was in the Miss World contest? Keeping to a couple Bond alums lets just say Michelle Yeoh (#20) and Halle Berry (#3). I would say Claudine is now legitimized. If you disagree I refer you to the numerous sexy outfits she wears in Thunderball including the black and white number seen above. Apparently Auger was so damn good producers re-wrote the part from an Italian woman to that of a French woman to better suit Auger (source). Nothin’ says lovin’ like re-writing a role. Cheers Claudine.
I think we all remember that hot tub scene in the first Austin Powers movie as Fabiana Udenio gave us all plenty of dirty thoughts. Well, the reason that scene is so sexy is because Fiona Fullerton playing Pola Ivanova showed us how it was done to begin with. This is one of the sexiest scenes in any of the Bond films and James takes full advantage. Pola is a Soviet agent that has been taping A View to a Kill baddie Max Zorin’s conversations. Thanks to his bit of hot tub seduction Bond gets what every man needs and the tape. Score and score!
Solitaire is multi-talented, on top of being extremely hot she can also tell the future! Talk about a chick I want with me:
Me: “Are you going to get pregnant this time?”
Me: “Better wait ’til tomorrow, good night.”
That is what I call a “getting out of a jam card.” Of course, there is a drawback, she must remain a virgin in order to preserve her psychic powers. Considering Bond has already defiled her I am going to have to hope her daughters have the same powers. Otherwise, it will have to remain all a daydream. Damn you James!
For those that doubt this ranking you need to realize that this is also a role that lets all the young ones know that Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman was once a bonafide hottie! And Jane Seymour was not only gorgeous back in 1973. All of you that saw Wedding Crashers or the recent commercials for “In Case of Emergency” know that she has aged extremely well as she is now pushing 56-years-old and saying things such as, “I just had my tits done. You like ’em?” in Wedding Crashers. Come on, this chick has what I need!
Like Plenty O’Toole in Diamonds are Forever, Solange does the same thing in the recently released Casino Royale as she leaves audience members wanting more Solange and less Vesper after she is killed off due to leaking information to Bond during their almost one night stand. Unfortunately, Bond never gets to taste her treats as he takes the information and bolts for Miami leaving her with champagne and caviar. Uh, for anyone that has seen this movie I think we can all say this is the worst decision Bond has ever made. I mean look – it’s official – here she is at #4 on the Bond Girl list and James leaves for Miami at that moment? If I remember correctly Bond always chooses at least a quick bit o’ sexy time before rushing off to the job. Man, someone needs to add, “Make that 30 minutes,” to Daniel Craig’s vocabulary.
Does Jinx deserve a #3 spot? This was a dilemma of mine only because I think Halle’s star has fallen since Die Another Day. However, when all was said and done I couldn’t help but make her the third best Bond Girl. Halle has such a beautiful face and such a smoking body it is impossible to ignore. Plus she isn’t afraid to toss out the sexual innuendos, “So Bond’s been explaining his Big Bang theory?” “Oh yeah, I think I got the thrust of it.” Very nice there Jinxy, and how about her comment to Miranda Frost? “He did you? I didn’t know he was that desperate.” The girl has a bit of a bite and a body that doesn’t quit, number three is the spot for her.
Unless you are a true Bond fan you may not actually know who Barbara Bach is, but the minute you see her in The Spy Who Loved Me you will never wonder again. The screen capture above is just the beginning of all the sexiness Barbara throws on screen as Anya Amasova, or XXX if we are going to use her Russian codename. Yeah, this chick starts off known as only XXX. On top of that, she is running around in the outfit you see above and getting soaking wet and offering up so much healthy 30-year-old breastage it isn’t even funny. The decision to give her the slot as the #2 Bond Girl of all time was not a hard one, and for you trivia junkies she is also Ringo Starr’s current wife and has been since 1981. I would use the fact that a Beatle would have taste to boost my decision, but we have all seen Yoko, she messed everything up didn’t she?
Here she is, the #1 Bond Girl of all-time and for the majority of Bond fans I am sure this is not a shocker as Ursula’s appearance in Dr. No is a show stopper. She shows up just a couple minutes over an hour into the film, which means the next 48 minutes offer all the Honey Ryder goodness you could ask for. She invented Bond Girls and is yet to be outdone!
Just like Pola Ivanova’s appearance inspired Fabiana Udenio’s in Austin Powers, Honey Ryder was the inspiration for Jinx’s first scene in Die Another Day as she walked out of the water in her retro bikini (check it out here), and even Mariah Carey mimicked the moment in her appropriately named music video for “Honey“. Unfortunately for those ladies, first is first, and Honey certainly is first. After accidentally getting caught up in James’ mission Honey holds her own along the way.
How hot is she? Ian Fleming, the man himself, even references Honey Ryder in “On Her Majesty’s Secret Service” as a “beautiful movie star.” Now that is saying something to have that kind of impression.
If you need more proof she is worthy of the #1 slot, a simple Google search will find you plenty of NSFW pics, or for a work safe, nice hi-res look at Ursula you can go right here. As far as Bond Girls go – Ursula is the cream of the crop, bar none.
So there you have it, and now I leave you with a tribute to the ladies and the man that makes it all happen…