Box-Office Oracle: June 30 – July 2

ON

I over-projected on Superman’s opening two days which spells bad news for the Caped Boyscout. It came in right around War of the Worlds level for a Wednesday opening (and eighth all time) but I’m sure they were expecting something closer to the $30m mark (Supe came in at $21.6m). It will still make a boatload of cash, get a sequel and make almost three times its budget but it still didn’t make as much as they thought. We real movie lovers can’t call this slow opening a real win though, all it really means is someone’s fourth assistant is now scanning the help wanted ads.

#1 movie predicted correctly: ONE Week In A Row

1. Superman Returns $69.1m

I didn’t dig it. Slate didn’t dig it (their review here). Ebert didn’t dig it. You know who did? People who can’t get past the fact that it is a Superman film. If he was called “Awesome Guy” and he was faster than the speed of light and had cold fusion vision reviewers would be raking this story over the coals but no one wants to go head to head with American icons. Well I do. Bring it on Superman. Lex Luthor, Laremy Legel, Lois Lane… well let’s just say you got one more double L all over your case buddy.

2. The Devil Wears Prada $21.4m

I’m bullish on this feature as a nice alternative to the super silliness. You can choose between making the lady happy here or being disappointed up there. Plus it has the built in book buzz factor. Was it on Oprah? It sure feels like it was, I think the law states that she’s obligated to tout one “fun summer read” for all LadyKind per year.

3. Click $17.3m

Man did I hate this and that’s why I’m predicting more than a 50 percent drop. The advertising is insane now too, as in “Come see the best movie of the year!” I’d advise you to forego the so called “best movie of the year” until all other forms of entertainment have been exhausted, and I include mowing your lawn or cleaning out the bird cage into that equation.

4. Cars $13.5m

We didn’t have one A movie the entire month, Dre gave this one a B, Tokyo Drift and Prada got a B from me. So, June joins January and April as ignomious months without a clear winner. I guess if I give 13 percent of the movies an A and I review eight or so a month the odds are some months aren’t going to cut it. Man, math is some crazy business!

5. The Lake House $5.6m

So I finally managed to catch it (though I won’t be reviewing it) and it isn’t any good. I’ve had a few long winded conversations about it and the general consensus is if you can turn your brain off you’ll enjoy yourself. I can’t do it, I’m afraid mine won’t boot back up, and so I’m forced to sigh in disgust at this vapid love affair gone illogical.

6. Waist Deep $5.0m

Did ya catch it opening weekend? The other guy reviewed it (B-Love, Owner, Operator) so I’m flying a little blind on quips. Perhaps I’ll offer a rebate or a free set of sea monkeys.

7. Nacho Libre $4.8

My little brother liked it. So there you go, if you’re in high school this may be a good way to differentiate yourself from old craggily brother who still drones on and on about The Big Lebowski.

8. The Fast and the Furious 3: Tokyo Drift $2.8m

What about tackling the roundabouts in London next? I’d say this series is over if they can’t buy Diesel or Walker. Or Tom Cruise.

9. The Break-Up $2.4m

Your last weekend on the countdown and we have some lovely parting gifts for you. Here’s a special flying Superman Toy (top speed 18.4mph) for you to play with. It’s been a blast. K.I.T.

10. The Da Vinci Code $2.4m

Same deal here but no gift because you were too controversial. I still can’t get over the $700m total gross. That seems like way too much money for something pretty middling. Maybe the issue is not the biz but the masses that follow along blindly no matter what the subject matter is. Come to think of it – that is the problem. Luckily you aren’t one of them because you’re using your eyes to read. Nice work. See you for the wrap-up Monday.

Box Office

Weekend: Nov. 15, 2018, Nov. 18, 2018

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