Box-Office Oracle: June 23 – June 24

A very bad movie (Click) will win the weekend or I will eat my shoe.

#1 movie predicted correctly: Zero Weeks In A Row

1. Click $36.7m



It’s interesting to note that the more Sandler’s movies suck the better he’s doing at the box office. He’s sold his soul but at least he’s made a ton of dough. Many souls have been sold for far less. I sold mine for a golden violin.

2. Cars $19.0m



Same deal here, the films get worse and the name recognition gets better. I just can’t wait until I suck. Then I’ll be bigtime.

3. Nacho Libre $13.1m



You can’t blame them for trying it because the director is the same. But the fact is there was no huge opening for Napoleon so why would there be one here? This one will have to simmer slowly and hope it comes out on top with the DVD. Sorry Jack, maybe release another D album to make some easy cash.

4. The Fast and the Furious 3: Tokyo Drift $13.1m



I think it’s the best American take on Japanese racing that’s a trilogy ever. Bold, huh? People get paid big marketing dollars for crap just like that. I think they even have secretaries.

5. The Lake House $5.4m



In the biz they call this a miss-fire. You may be familiar with the more common term, bloodbath.

6. The Break-Up $4.4m



What about a comedy featuring Jolie and Vaughn? Or better yet, Pitt and Aniston? Tell me that wouldn’t sell.

7. Waist Deep $4.0



Allright! Does opening seventh feel good? Did you ever in your wildest dream think you’d make the top seven? Now you can retire and put it on your tombstone you dirty bastard.

8. X-Men: The Last Stand $3.1m



What more can be said about this flick? They’ve got Sophia Coppola on board for the next one which should help some.

9. Garfield 2: A Tale of Two Kitties $2.6m



I think it would have made more money if one of the kitties was MURDERED.

10. The Da Vinci Code $2.0m



Someone was murdered on this one and it only performed halfway decent. I would recommend kittens for the film but it feels like even that wouldn’t have done it. They should’ve just shaved Hanks head on camera and they might have gotten a standing O. See ya monday my kittens.

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