Box-Office Oracle: May 26 – May 28


Only one movie of note this weekend, but it’s a boozy doozy. The X-Folk, mutants they be, are rolling on to the scene like 5-0 at one of my slumber parties. I like it to win. By A lot. And my prediction for the Tom Hanks one will be right this weekend, at least closer than last week when I missed by approx. $50b (I think I used the wrong exchange rate). Anyway, I still got it right, the streak continues, and you remain at least a little amused. Read on for some witty fun.

#1 movie predicted correctly: 4 Weeks In A Row

1. X-Men: The Last Stand $83.0m

I’m probably light on the dollars but I couldn’t bring myself to go for the big hundred. It could do it though. So I’m hedging my bets a little, like when I bet on both red and black in vegas. Oops, what happens stays.

2. The Da Vinci Code $45.0m

Honestly, it’s not really so much of a code as it is a series of clues. But The Da Vinci set of clues doesn’t have quite the same ring, does it? What tense am I writing in these days, anyway? Is it like 5th person omniscient?

3. Over The Hedge $20.5m

Don’t you think the 4 weeks in a row thing up top is sorta cheesy? I asked Brad to build me some type of nice fountain which the number would spurt forth from but he’s too busy polishing his pink frilly handcuff collection.

4. Mission Impossible 3 $5.2m

I would totally convert if it meant I got to be a director of a huge franchise. Maybe I should start putting crap like that in Craig’s List.

5. Poseidon $3.6m

They will make their budget back if they start robbing banks now and stop some time around 2023. I think the FBI has a task force or something, could prove problematic for the revenue stream.

6. See No Evil $2.5m

Are we really going after blind people now? What’s next? Kids? Actually, that Omen flick looks kind of dope, dope being slang for decent.

7. RV $2.2

New TV series, ERV about an ER on wheels. I think it’s an idea with real momentum. Spare me your sanctimony, I’m allowed one of these a week.

8. Just My Luck $1.1m

Man do I hate the Pistons.

9. United 93 $.6m

I’m becoming more of a Manchester United fan because I hear they are really really good. I only follow teams that win, I guess makes me a bit of a smart guy.

10. American Haunting $.4m

How the hell did they get a movie out about the president so soon? No, no, we’re not going political over here, I just take the lay-ups when I see them. Plus, with an approval rating of 35% I figure two thirds of you folks are with me, and Meatloaf taught us long ago that that ain’t bad.

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Box Office

Weekend: Nov. 15, 2018, Nov. 18, 2018

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