Box-Office Wrap-Up: Apr. 21 – Apr. 23


The Oracle was a victim of a murder death kill this weekend as the streak was snapped. I didn’t get to see Silent Hill, how could I tell if it was #1 quality? Sometimes these horrors fly high and sometimes they die painfully and I can’t tell which is which at this point. I need to hire a consultant or something. Oh well, the sun is bright, I was relatively accurate, I’m still very good looking and have my health (sort of). Let’s just wrap this stupid weekend up and get the hell out of here.

1. Silent Hill $20.2m (My rank:#2, $.9m Off)
I was pretty much right on with this one, regardless of my earlier complaints. That’s right Oracle lovers, I still have my finger right on the pulse of horror films, you can still come here for all your prognastication needs on the scary stuff. Now parodies on the other hand…

2. Scary Movie 4 $17.0m (My rank:#1, $8.7m Off)

I clearly suck at the funny. This one tailed off quicker than skeet. Thank for letting me down over there Harvey and Bob. FIrst you won’t take my calls and now this.

3. The Sentinel $14.6m (My rank:#5, $3.9m Off)

A very good performance for what is probably a very average movie. Let’s see how it does next weekend before we pass judgement. After all, fool me once it’s your fault. Fool me twice I burn your house down. Lock the doors Sentinel, lock em up.

4. Ice Age: The Meltdown $12.8m (My rank: #3, $.1m Off)

Worldwide this guy is up to $443m on an $80m budget. That’s not too shabby. I’m pretty sure they’ve greenlit the next dozen or so sequels. However this type of success story is not completely without parrallel. I once bought a Bo Jackson Upper Deck rookie for two bucks and turned it around after the all star game (which he hit a homer in) for like ten bucks. In that sense Ice Age: The Meltdown and I have a ton of common. All I have to do is sell one billion more Bo Jackson cards. Luckily I have them in a shoe box in my attic.

5. The Wild $8.0m (My rank:#6, $2.3m Off)

Now this guy is sitting pretty on $31m on that same budget of $80m. They will be hustling to make their cash back here. It can be considered a disaster, like when I fell down a mine shaft and lost a bunch of Bo Jackson cards I was headed to market with.

6. The Benchwarmers $7.3m (My rank:#7, $2.0m Off)

They will keep cranking this crap out as long as you people keep paying to see it. Like five million people have paid to see this. That’s one out of every 60 people in America. Now I know for a fact one out of 60 people haven’t had a lobotomy so I’m not sure what the excuse here is. I’d love to hear it, maybe I could get a tiny bit of repsect back for the nation gone awry.

7. Take the Lead $4.2m (My rank: #9, .3m Off)

I know I wouldn’t bother with it but I’m not faulting people on this one. Maybe you need dancing and general frivolity. Or maybe you fell down a mine and is was the only thing on.

8. American Dreamz $3.6m (My rank: #3, $8.6m Off)

I want to admit something to the general public. I used the power of The Oracle to make American Dreamz seem more credible. I knew it didn’t have a chance in the blue states, the fly-over states, but I still propped it up in hopes of changing just one mind. Did it work? Clearly not. Do I feel bad? Not at all. I’m pathological and incapable of feeling remorse. So there.

9. Inside Man $3.6m (My rank: #8, $.6m Off)

We’re going to see another Joint because this one done good on the general ledger, or G/L as me and my accounting buddies like to call it. This is good news for those of us that like joints.

10. Friends with Money $3.5m (My rank: Not Ranked)

Whoa, where did this one come from? I didn’t preview it so I’m not sure it officially exists. Can I get a ruling on this?

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Box Office

Weekend: Nov. 15, 2018, Nov. 18, 2018

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