Box-Office Wrap-Up: Apr. 14 – Apr. 16


A measly half a million bucks off on Scary Movie 4? That’s nasty, Oracle, don’t hurt em like that. Did I use performance enhancing Oracle drugs? Yeah, so what, in the world of Oracling you take whatever advantages you can. If I need bran muffins to get my Oracle on that’s just what’s going to happen.

1. Scary Movie 4 $41.0m (My rank: #1, $.4m Off)
Didn’t screen it, didn’t see it on Friday. I just have very little interest in a spoof of a genre that’s largely spoof filled. Did anyone else around here like Dawson’s Creek? Now THAT was a spoof.

2. Ice Age: The Meltdown $20.0m (My rank: #2, $4.1m Off)

I’m happy this one had a nice third week. Why not? It’s not all cruelty around here, you make a decent flick and I’ll support you through thick and thin. I’d prefer thick though because that’s how I like I like my women.

3. The Benchwarmers $10.0m (My rank: #4, $.8m Off)

B-Love was right when he said they’ve got to be happy because this only cost eight cents to make. Us moviegoers are like the abused spouse at this point, they keep treating us bad and we keep not leaving them or having them killed.

4. The Wild $9.5m (My rank: #3, $6.2m Off)

Yikes! I’m glad the public stayed far away because this was a poop machine. Nice work there people.

5. Take the Lead $6.7m (My rank: #5, $.2m Off)

Who knew dancing wouldn’t capture the American imagination? Besides me I mean.

6. Inside Man $6.2m (My rank: #8, $1.4m Off)

Anyone ever catch the Blue Planet nature DVD’s? Those things blew my freaking mind.

7. Lucky Number Slevin $4.6m (My rank: #9, $.2m Off)

This one deserved more of a shot, it should’ve been released under a major studio’s flag with good marketing and big distribution. Of course that’s the same thing I said about my first attempt at amateur porn and that didn’t happen, did it?

8. Thank You for Smoking $4.4m (My rank: #7, $.7m Off)

What if they’d called it Thank You For Dying? Now that would have gotten your attention, eh? This one was way too cute which is why it won’t dominate. I stand by this critique.

9. Failure to Launch $2.5m (My rank: Not Ranked)

I haven’t watched Desperate Housewives since the very start but I just saw an ad for it that looked like a high school production. That show fell off the Earth faster than my chorus line career.

10. V for Vendetta $2.1m (My rank: Not Ranked)

Hey V! I’m glad you made the top ten one last time for old time’s sake. It’s so pleasing. Now I’m headed to brunch where a pastry will be served. Happy Turkey Day people!

Here is the MySpace info. Pop it, then rock it.

Box Office

Weekend: Nov. 22, 2018, Nov. 25, 2018

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