Box-Office Wrap-Up: Apr. 7 – Apr. 9

ON

Oh, I said Ice Age 2 would win, and it happened. Now for my next prediction: I’m going to be a big star. When I look at the TV I’m going to see me staring right back at me. Yeah, it might take a clock tower and some well placed rounds to chests but it’s happening one way or the other. Stay tuned as the Oracle gets his.

1. Ice Age: The Meltdown $34.5m (My rank: #1, $8.9m Off)
All the scientists are running around, looking for the monkey but it can’t be found cuz it’s down in the park playing hockey with the kids. Just Google it already and quit giving me the crazy eyes.

2. The Benchwarmers $20.5m (My rank: #3, $4.4m Off)

I warmed the bench for awhile. Then I turned to crack.

3. Take the Lead $12.7m (My rank: #2, $11.7m Off)

One, two, three, four, c’mon baby, say you love me. Hmmm, maybe my dancing references are outdated or maybe I’m just whetting your appetite for the Miami Vice movie. Sound Machine for life!

4. Inside Man $9.1m (My rank: #5, $1.6m Off)

What’s up Inside Man? Nah, sorry bro, I’ve got plans tonight. Yeah, actually, they do involve crack.

5. Lucky Number Slevin $7.1m (My rank: #4, $4.0m Off)

The Slevin trailer is among the worst I’ve ever seen. Whoever did that pile should take a tire iron to the cranial region. Sadly I can’t find the bad one I saw on TV to link to it, and the one they have up now is okay. You’ll have to trust me on this one because this column is based on trust.

6. Failure to Launch $4.1m (My rank: #8, $.7m Off)

My Failure to Launch cost me my first marriage.

7. ATL $3.7m (My rank: #6, $2.7m Off)

They are doing a sequel. It’s when one of the main guys joins the navy and moves west. It’s called SeATL. Okay, even I feel bad about that one. I’ll make it up to you next one, promise.

8. V for Vendetta $3.3m (My rank: #9, DEAD ON)

Hey, do me a favor and place a vote under the Lonesome Jim review if you’ve seen it. Only with your help can I keep going to smaller no hope style films. Crap, that wasn’t funny at all, I still owe you one.

9. Phat Girlz $3.1m (My rank: #7, $1.8m Off)

Not a huge opening for this one, but on the other hand if it does this kind of box for the next 33 weeks it will break 100m. So let’s make the final judgement in nine months.

10. Thank You for Smoking $2.4m (My rank: Not Ranked)

I’m glad to see this one make an appearance even though I didn’t have it ranked. It’s not a perfect movie but it’s still better than eight or so of the ones above it. To guess which ones it’s not better than you’d have to read my reviews.

Here is the MySpace info. Pop it, then rock it.

Box Office

Weekend: Nov. 22, 2018, Nov. 25, 2018

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