I’ve just taken the CONTENDER reigns off of Dre’s hands and they are feeling mighty fine. Right now I’m mixing the power of the pen with the sweet elixir of the Internet to bring you something spicy.
Okay, let’s see now, do I have a funny way to get into this puppy about Oscar shorts; say a mixed metaphor that teaches us a little about life while bringing on an LOL moment? Hmm… crap… as usual I’m feeling like a strike out victim. Oh wait – how about this one: Have you ever been tied up in the middle of an “Adult game” ready for the pleasure to start? Your tasty partner is off in the other room shouting what she’s going to do to you like Sienna Miller in Layer Cake. The suspense is unbearable right?
Likewise when you are tied up after a drug deal gone wrong you’d like to keep the suspense going a few more months, please God don’t let that dude come back in with the baseball bat and the bleach. Let’s just all take a safety time-out, eh guys? This is what the Oscar nominated shorts are like, sometimes they are unbearable from start to finish; sometimes you’d like them to last forever. Dre, I hope I’ve done you proud.
The first lesson of short films is that they have long credits. It’s a strange thing to behold, watching a fourteen minute film with two minute credits. This would be comparable to a full length film showing fifteen minute credits. I don’t know, maybe everyone deserves credit no matter how small the work. I know I plan on thanking people for a few paragraphs at the end of this bad boy.
Okay, let’s do this thing; your shorts must be getting in a bunch by now.
OSCAR NOMINEES FOR SHORT FILM (live action)
THE LAST FARM
OUR TIME IS UP
So that’s that. Three real good films and two a bit below average. Who will win? Who should win? Let’s go to the tape!
WHO SHOULD WIN: Cashback – It has heart and laughs galore, innovation of theme and plenty of female breasts. There is nothing to hate about this one. I’d recommend it to anyone who wants to pop for the two bucks on Itunes. Tell em large Marge sent ya.
WHO WILL WIN: Our Time is Up – I’m new at the Oscar prediction biz but I’m taking the film with Kevin Pollak in it. That’s just me, that’s how I roll. I won’t be too upset either, it’s a funny effort in a short package.
Tune in Oscar night when, for the first time in history, a few people will have actually seen the nominated short films. Don’t forget to be My friend.