Three lackluster openings this week will allow Disney to reign supreme for one more week. The trouble is trying to figure out which of the three is going to mount the most serious charge. I’ve got Zathura but only because it’s the biggest wildcard.
1. Chicken Little 21.9m
Chicken Little proved that reviews can’t hurt a children’s film. You really think these kids give a damn about Ebert?
2. Zathura 20.9m
People will go to see it for the title alone.
3. Jarhead 15.7m
If the world was just, this would be the top film this weekend. Knowing it’s not, helps us slot this one third.
4. Derailed 8.5m
This is an abysmal film that will sucker some week one folks. Adios after that.
5. Get Rich or Die Tryin’ 7.4m
This film will die tryin’. All puns are sponsored by “Freddy’s Pun Juice”.
6. Saw II 6.5m
The creepiest film of the weekend will still terrify a few procrastinators. Halloween was two weeks ago guys! Catch up!
7. Legend of Zorro 4.6m
I just wish the legend was more interesting and involved dragons. Then I’d be seeing it every weekend myself.
8. Dreamer 2.6m
“Do we have to see Dreamer again mom?” “Yes. It’s the only way to keep you and your brother sin free.”
9. Prime 2.6m
Do you think the title came from 3 being a prime number? If so, were they going for the huge math joke crowd?
10. Good Night and Good Luck 1.6m
I want to decry a culture that doesn’t give weighty films a chance but I didn’t see it either. So the decrying has to start in the mirror first.
