5 R-Rated Things We Want to See in Justice League
Recently, it was revealed that Zack Snyder’s Justice League may possibly carry an R-rating due to strong language and intense violence. Snyder even revealed that Batman drops an F-bomb at one point which is sure to get Snyder Cut naysayers ruffled to no end.
Still, one F-bomb and a few bits of violence typically aren’t enough to warrant an R-rating. So, we started thinking, what R-rated moments do we want to see in Zack Snyder’s Justice League? Here are the top five we came up with — and before you ask, yes, one involves graphic nudity.
[Note: everyone at ComingSoon.net is ecstatic for Zack Snyder’s Justice League — everyone. So, this list is mostly in jest. Though, some of these ideas have some merit.]
Dead Soviet Family
Remember that weird Russian family that popped up out of nowhere in Joss Whedon’s Justice League? Well, we have it on good authority that Whedon repurposed their scenes in order to give them a happier ending. In Snyder’s version, that family met a grisly demise at the hands of a couple of parademons that swooped into the house, ate the father alive, disintegrated the mother, bled out the brother and left the daughter angry and vengeful. She was set up to have her own spinoff series which, naturally, WB shot down. Though, we hear, HBO Max is considering the idea.
Aquaman Stabs a Guy with a Trident
Like all DC fans, we’re hoping Aquaman actually gets a chance to use his trident for more than just epic posturing. In fact, we expect nothing less than a scene in which the big guy uses his pointy stick to stab the bejesus out of Steppenwolf — in a manner reminiscent of that Will Ferrell sketch on SNL — right before Wonder Woman heroically leaps into the air and slices off the dude’s head. As geysers of blood sprays from Steppenwolf’s lifeless corpse, the two heroes, drenched in the villain’s blood, lock lips and proceed to make sweet, sweet love Watchmen style. (Seriously, though, we wanna see Wonder Woman slice off Steppenwolf’s head. That moment sounds bad ass!)
Superman Melts the World
This is how the Snyder Cut will go: the team will resurrect Superman who returns from the grave with a bit of a hangover. As seen in the Whedon cut, he proceeds to fight the Justice League (except this time the military and Jimmy Olsen also arrives) until — plot twist! — he accidentally crushes Lois with a tank intended for Batman. Superman then succumbs to the anti-life equation and proceeds to destroy the planet leading to the fame Knightmate sequence. Since this is R-rated, we expect Superman’s destruction to feature all sorts of violence — imagine the nuclear bomb scene in Terminator 2, just with Superman! Then, the Flash has to use time travel to bring everyone back to the moment where Lois died so that Batman can save her and alter the future. Who says no?
Batman Uses His Guns to Mow Down Criminals
This one might be a tad controversial since most people object to Batman wielding anything but a bat-a-rang, even though they are perfectly fine watching Captain America slaughter over 14,000 people in the Marvel Cinematic Universe — but, whatevs. In Snyder’s R-rated cut, we expect to see the Bats wield a goddamned mini gun that he uses against parademons and Superman’s future foot soldiers. Then, when the world goes back to normal, Bruce says fu** it and goes into Arkham Asylum with his new toy and mows down his entire rogue’s gallery thus negating any need for a Batfleck spinoff. If that weren’t enough, he then hops on a boat and sails across the bay to Metropolis and slaughters Lex Luthor in a manner similar to that horrible Sean Connery death in The Untouchables. Bad. Ass.
We already saw Ben Affleck’s Bat bod in the director’s cut of Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice during a brief shower scene. We’re betting Snyder one ups himself in the follow up and — wait for it — shows off a little more, ah, Bruce wang, if you catch our drift. Actually, why stop there? How about a Starship Troopers-esque shower scene with the entire team to show off how much their comradery has grown since the last time we saw them? Sure, it may be a little awkward for the young ones, but this isn’t really their type of movie is it?