Jessie’s Saturday Night Fright Flick: 1981’s MY BLOODY VALENTINE

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Movie junkie Jessie Robbins picks a fright flick for a Saturday night.

It’s that time of year again; couples everywhere are snuggling close to their sweeties, showering each other with expensive gifts, chocolates, and sensual amateur massages. The aura of love cascades over this awful, blizzardy landscape and seems to warm the earth around you, spilling into the hearts of people everywhere like a ruptured artery. Whether you are in a relationship, single, love Valentine’s Day or believe that cherub worshiping sex rituals are paganistic (prude) one thing that everyone can agree on is the perfect date night: popcorn and a movie. What better way to celebrate your love than with a film that offers blood, guts, coal and, of course, a ballad celebrating the story’s masked killer? Yes, lovers, this week we’re (obviously) watching George Mihalka’s Canadian slasher classic MY BLOODY VALENTINE (1981).

Set in the coastal mining town of Valentine Bluffs, Nova Scotia, MY BLOODY VALENTINE centers on a group of strapping young miners and their lady-friends, gearing up for a fun Valentine’s Day party, the first one in a number of years, not since escaped mental patient and ex-miner Harry Warden came back to the town to exact his revenge on those that wronged him. Lovers and haters of Valentine’s Day alike can enjoy this entry into the Saturday Night Fright Flick, as it celebrates a beloved holiday while simultaneously ripping the heart out of it’s heaving, strategically unbuttoned cleavage.

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Paul Kelman (as strapping young miner T.J.) gives a great performance as one–third of a love triangle, his natural British accent seeping through just enough to pass for a “Newfie” one as he vies for the attention of his ex-girlfriend Sarah, who is now dating Axel, played by Neil Affleck (no relation to Ben or Casey). “The Miner” is a terrifying addition to the slasher genre, the pick-axe an appropriately phallic choice of weapon, the underlying sexual frustration only further explored in the 2009 remake starring Jensen Ackles (SUPERNATURAL, my dreams). This sicko highly recommends the unrated edition of the film as the makeup and gore effects (which were hacked from the film’s theatrical release by Paramount and crudely re-inserted for the recent DVD) alone are creepily realistic for the time and stomach churning. Perfect for a romantic evening!

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So turn off all the lights, snuggle up to your babe, and enjoy your Valentine’s weekend! But if this is your first date maybe disregard this whole entry…

Remember boys and girls, only show them a little of your crazy at a time.