Comic-Con 2012 Review: Starship Troopers: Invasion

The plot goes something like this. Some troopers aboard a starship fight some giant ass bugs. Some other stuff happens. Some bugs die.  Some people die.

The end.

That should tell you everything you need to know and more about the Starship Troopers: Invasion movie. It was a big waste of my time and I would like to encourage you not to waste yours watching the film. 

Starship Troopers: Invasion is nothing more than a vehicle to promote the release of the video game of the same title. The problem with the film is that unlike a video game, you are not in control. You just have to sit there and watch as the troopers shoot giant bugs. It’s like watching someone else play a video game for 90 minutes. 

The pacing in Starship Troopers: Invasion is silly. It never spends any significant amount of time explaining what’s going on or why. The film is made up almost entirely of action sequences and nudity, which is strange, because the film is in CG. Something about watching animated boobs makes me feel like a pervert. 

The character development, not surprisingly, was non-existent. We knew little more than the character’s names. Their motivations and back story remained a mystery in most instances. We learned a little about a select few, but nothing to make use care whether they lived. I was actually hoping they would all get hit by an asteroid and die.

The characters’ ridiculous nicknames didn’t lend any credibility to the film. How are you supposed to care about people with names like Bug Spray, Ice Blonde, Ratz Ass, etc…?

Mind you, I am a big fan of the original Starship Troopers film. I loved Dina Meyer and her “tough as nails, yet vulnerable for the right person” performance. I thought it was a fantastic film. It did a lot of things right. It wasn’t too campy. It wasn’t too serious. It was, and still is, a great flick. It’s unfortunate that the franchise has sunk to this level. 

The only positive I can find is that the CG was pretty good as far as CG goes. I don’t like CG effects and I really don’t like CG films, but for what it is, the effects were fairly well done. The bug death scenes looked about as realistic as one can expect from computer generated bug deaths.

Starship Troopers: Invasion will hit Blu-ray August 28th, but do yourself a favor and avoid it. If you are feeling nostalgic for some Starship Troopers fun, read the book or re-watch the far superior original film. 

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