The Summer of Massacre


I usually like to go into movies without knowing a lot about them – preferring just enough to know whether I will actually be interested in watching it. Sometimes, however, this backfires. I put in the DVD for The Summer of Massacre, not knowing anything about it but going in with the feeling that the title was kind of corny. Within five minutes of the movie I had a feeling I was in for a very…interesting ride. I tried to like this movie, I really did. I wanted to like it. I wanted to be able to say that this was awesome…but I can’t.

The Summer of Massacre is an anthology film depicting various events that occurred, in I can only assume is Los Angeles, that are “massacres” in their own right. There is no through story and there’s not really a story in any of the individual segments either.

I realized pretty quick that this movie is what you would get if you told Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim to make a horror movie, but not make it funny at all. I’m not exaggerating in the least. The effects that you will see in this movie are exactly the kind of effects used on Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! In other words, silly, stupid, and overexaggerated CGI. The entire movie looks like it cost maybe $300 to film and it’s one of the most nonsensical things I have ever seen in my life.

I couldn’t tell if this movie was supposed to be serious or if it was supposed to be dumb. I can only imagine it was the first one, considering the laughs were not intentional and they were few and far between. Now, I’m always an advocate for movies that are either just funny or tell a good story, more so than a movie that “says something”, but I can’t help but question what this movie was trying to do, say, or what kind of story it was trying to tell.

This movie holds an actual Guinness world record for “The Highest Body Count in a Slasher film”, which one would think would be an incredible marketing tool and would cause this to make tons of cash. The record says that there are “155” deaths in the film, which I don’t doubt, but I think maybe six of them were interesting or clever.

This is also one of the most offensive movies I’ve ever seen (I hope they pull this quote to promote the movie because that’s not a compliment). The “gore” is not offensive but everything else is. It’s portrayal of women, the mentally handicapped, and transgendered is one of the most sickening and prejudiced thing I’ve ever seen. I cannot stress enough how cliched and repulsive this entire movie is more so than stating how it portrays so many different people groups in a negative light.

The Summer of Massacre is like if you took a three minute “horror movie” that some kid made for You Tube with computer-generated gore and only the remnants of a “story” and stretched it out for almost 100 minutes. It’s boring, dumb, offensive, and most importantly not scary at all.

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Weekend: Mar. 28, 2019, Mar. 31, 2019

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