Last night during our screening of Safe House, I was sitting next to Laremy when he leaned over and says to me, “This woman next to men won’t shut up.” I felt lucky I couldn’t hear her, but I knew his pain. Someone talking through a movie is perhaps the number one thing that can ruin your enjoyment.
I suggested he ask her to be quiet, but as The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo goes, “Isn’t it amazing the fear of offending is greater than the fear of pain?” Laremy opted for pain in this instance and didn’t ask her to be quiet, I would not have been so polite.
I can’t remember how long ago it was, but during a screening a few years back a group of people were continually chattering during the film when one person in the audience suddenly belt out, “You’re not in your living room!” It was a stroke of genius, the people shut up and on top of that there is nothing to say after that. I have used it since and it’s a true gem.
For example, I took my family to go see Knight and Day a couple years back and some guy behind us and his daughters were yapping throughout the first 15 minutes of the film. I get fed up, turned around and asked them to please be quiet to which he responded, “Just calm down.” His attempt to act as if I were in the wrong caused me to bring out the big gun. “You’re not in your living room,” I said quietly but with an air of confidence and scorn. He didn’t say another word.
A father in front of his wife and children, being reprimanded with indisputable facts by someone most likely 20 years younger than him can’t exactly be confidence inspiring. I’m sure he sat there stewing for the next two hours, but the fact of the matter remained, he wasn’t in his living room. He was in the public with an audience of people that had paid money to enjoy a film on the big screen, not to listen to him and his daughters blurt out obvious observations or help one another keep up with the plot.
I recently had to ask some people to be quiet during my screening of Haywire and, as always, they look on with incredulity, as if I am crazy for not wanting them to talk, but as long as they stop talking what do I care?
These people must be stopped. So it is here that I call on you, share your stories. In what ways have you had to ask people to shut up during a movie? What worked? What didn’t?
Offer up some ideas so the next time Laremy is confronted with a talker he will have a few phrases in his arsenal.
