Movie Review: Land of the Lost (2009)

Land of the Lost is neither funny nor entertaining. It’s juvenile potty humor and sexual innuendo wrapped up in what feels like a Universal Studios theme park ride more than an actual film. However, I could have bought into all of that had that been the movie they were trying to make. As it turns out I am not sure director Brad Silberling (Lemony Snicket’s a Series of Unfortunate Events) knew what he was going for with this film. Is this trying to be a family comedy? Because it sure isn’t one, and if it’s not for the family then who is the target audience?

Prior to writing up this review I watched the first two episodes of the 1970s television series the film is based on to get a little perspective. The show is harmless, it’s nothing more than Saturday morning adolescent entertainment and something I wouldn’t be all that surprised in seeing on PBS even today. However, seeing it on the big screen and carrying a $100 million budget is a different story. While Land of the Lost mimics much of what the show had to offer, I’m not sure why anyone thought such material would make solid summer movie watching.

Even though a scientific explanation is added to the storyline, Land of the Lost is as simple as its television counterpart with Will Ferrell playing Dr. Rick Marshall, a shamed “quantum paleontologist” who was laughed out of the community due to his belief something called a tachyon could be manipulated to send objects into different dimensions… or something like that. His shame is made public from the outset as he gets into an on-air altercation with “Today Show” host Matt Lauer, a scene being championed by most critics as the best part of the movie along with a second appearance by Lauer near the end. However, if this is what passes for comedy nowadays I guess I am going to be walking out of a lot more movies disappointed.

Following his downward spiral Marshall is reinvigorated once he is paid a visit by an equally outcast scientist, Holly Cantrell (Anna Friel), who was thrown out of Cambridge for her continued belief in Marshall’s theories. The two hook up and ultimately Marshall’s tachyon amplifier works, sending the two of them, along with Will (Danny McBride), a white trash fireworks salesman who happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, to a whole new dimension. All of this is handled with absolutely no attention paid to logic or reason, which I can entirely respect, but not enough is done with the lack of logic to make it worthwhile. It’s like giving a carpenter a hammer and nail and they just keep hitting themselves on the thumb.

Once in this mysterious world, Holly suddenly has the ability to translate the words of Cha-Ka (The Lonely Island’s Jorma Taccone), a primitive ape-like character based on a similar character in the series. Holly’s reasoning for understanding the never-before-heard language is completely ignored, but at the same time the joke is never utilized. Rick and Will use her as if they expected her to know the language, never questioning her knowledge and relying on the translation for the punch line. Given the film is nothing more than a bunch of buffoons wandering around a foreign land, a bit more buffoonery would have been welcome, and that doesn’t mean Rick pouring dinosaur urine on himself and then drinking it counts.

The other serious attempt at comedy is a reoccurring joke involving Grumpy, a Tyrannosaurus Rex that chases the group throughout the film only to have his hunt spoiled at the last minute each time. To call this a joke would be giving it far too much credit, especially when the T-Rex is upstaged by a thieving pterodactyl in one fell swoop. In the end the T-Rex gets something of a pay off, but only to very limited success.

My disappointment in this film isn’t exactly surprising, but I did have high hopes. The trailers gave me a few laughs, but I was concerned what I was seeing was all the movie had to offer and as it turns out there is even less — not even the jokes in the trailers are funny once you see them on the big screen. While I remain one of the few people that got a laugh out of Will Ferrell’s Semi-Pro, it appears this film is going to be another bust in Ferrell’s career unless family audiences warm to it more than I expect.

GRADE: D
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