Box-Office Oracle: June 16 – June 18

ON

We have four new contenders for the crown this weekend but only two are serious heavyweights. The other two include a sequel no one wanted (Garfield) and a romantic comedy that no ones knows is coming out. The real deal movies are The Fast and the Furious 3: Tokyo Drift and Nacho Libre. Nacho has the bankable star while FF3 has a bankable franchise. Throw last weekend’s winner Cars in to the mix and you’ve got a great shot at an Oracle disaster. Regardless, we plod on into the abyss together.

#1 movie predicted correctly: One Week In A Row

1. The Fast and The Furious 3: Tokyo Drift $36.3m

I could end up really low on this one. The other two opened at $40m and $50m so why lower on this edition? My thought is Lucas Black is no Paul Walker (who was no Vin Deisel). Would I bet my life this wins? No, but then again you’d have a tough time getting me to risk my life on something as silly as movie revenue. Maybe something important like dressage, but not movies.

2. Cars $33.9m

Hey it’s Cars against Cars! Hahahahhaha. I’m ready to write screenplays now!

3. Nacho Libre $23.0m

It’s supposed to perform well because everyone is comparing it to Napoleon Dynamite… but does anyone recall that Napoleon opened at like twelve bucks? Plus what 20-35yr old sees a PG comedy, even with Jack Black? And who takes their kid to a Mexican wrestling comedy? I have no idea how this one makes big revenue but if I’m wrong I’m willing to write the Oracle recap for free.

4. Garfield 2: A Tale of Two Kitties $17.7m

They could’ve made more money by simply asking me how much I’d pay to not see it.

5. The Lake House $17.2m

A grand American tradition, take a great foreign film and destroy it. I really liked the trailer but have heard nothing but angry words about it.

6. The Break-Up $11.0m

This movie needed more trampolines. Hell, every movie needs more trampolines. And hot air balloons.

7. The Omen $8.2

Void where prohibited. C’mon, I deserve some freebies for all my hard work. I toil in obscurity for so long in the hot sun. Let me get some shade man.

8. X-Men: The Last Stand $7.1m

You’ve got to call this a success financially if not artistically. Of course I’m pretty sure the studio system forgot about artistic merit right after fire was invented.

9. The Da Vinci Code $4.8m

Before you kiss me you should know, Papa was a rodeo. Are we at the song lyric section now?? I didn’t realize it was “beer 30” around here.

10. Over the Hedge $4.4m

I could play guitar and rope a steer before I learned to stand. I know we are seeing a quel (that’s what we’re calling them now in the hood) on this one and I’m not displeased. Good movies deserve to get new lives. Unlike sinners. Next week party people!

Email me at my first name at gmail.com if you like.

Box Office

Weekend: Sep. 27, 2018, Sep. 30, 2018

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