Hey look, it’s the martial arts team-up of a lifetime, but wait… it’s a kid’s movie? And an awful one at that. Whoever thought it was a good idea to make the first ever team-up of Jackie Chan and Jet Li a kid’s movie with the actual star of the film Michael Angarano and placing Stuart Little director Rob Minkoff at the helm was OUT OF THEIR MIND! Seriously, do the plan on duping enough martial arts fans into this poorly executed pile to make their money back or do they see a legitimate contender on their hands?
I have started to avoid trailers at all costs so I had no idea what this film was about. Hell, I didn’t even know it was a kid’s film. I thought it was going to be some kick ass kick, punch, kick feature and I was down for that. Too bad. We start off in the real world where Angarano plays Jason, a goofy high schooler obsessed with kung fu features. Ultimately he is swept away into fantasy land where he has to save the Monkey King (Jet Li) with the help of Lu Yan (Jackie Chan) and the Silent Monk (Jet Li).
The story is silly. The execution is poor. And Angarano is MISERABLE. Seriously, this kid doesn’t look like he could win at checkers let alone learn martial arts and kick the ass of some so-called Jade soldiers. The best is the little “V” of chest hair that looks to be shaved on his prepubescent physique; it is so distracting you almost feel like you are watching kiddy porn or some Catholic priest’s private stash.
However, I will give props where they are due.
The first fight between Li and Chan is very, very good. The problem is that we aren’t watching only for fights, if we wanted to watch fights we would pop onto late night television and check out rednecks beating one another or a legitimate martial arts film. This film depends on its story and unfortunately you don’t care at all about the Monkey King or the young Don Juan trying to save him.
Hopefully, Chan and Li will team again in the future in a real movie, not a half-assed kiddy flick that hardly even achieves that as the lasting image of a charred body is sure to keep the kids stirring once the curtains close and you are asking for your money back.
