After a tiresome four-minute credit sequence Steven Spielberg’s The Adventures of Tintin begins with a perfect example of just exactly what kind of film it’s going to be, a film for the fans of the graphic novels from which it’s based.
The first bit of imagery after the title sequence is that of original “Tintin” author and artist Georges Prosper Remi, or Herge as he’s best known, rendered in full CGI and painting the titular Tintin (voiced by Jamie Bell) just moments before the plot begins to unfold. I only know this was Herge because I looked up a photo of him when I got home. I haven’t read a single page of the “Tintin” graphic novels and had no idea who the character was or what he was about before walking in. I was at a clear disadvantage.
As it turns out, Tintin is an investigative journalist who is best described as something of an Indiana Jones with a typewriter and without much delay he’s on the hunt for the secret a small model of a 17th century ship called the “Unicorn” may hold and how it relates to the Haddock family of seamen and the nefarious Red Rackham (voiced by Daniel Craig). Joined by his Wire Fox Terrier, Snowy, Tintin journeys across the globe as his nose for a story tells him there’s a good one here.
The story is easy enough to follow and Spielberg injects all the action and adventure we’ve come to enjoy from the filmmaker, particularly his similarly themed Indiana Jones features. The only problem here is that I was never able to care about what was going on. A connection to the characters is never made as much as the audience is simply thrust into the story and sent off on a wild goose chase of a mystery that appears to have been concocted simply out of the need to tell a story, rather than as a natural progression of events.
Within minutes after this introduction, Tintin stumbles upon the model of the “Unicorn,” pays for it and is promptly accosted by a pair of blokes, one suggesting he get rid of it the other suggesting he sell it to him. Wait. What? Who are these people? I just got here, why are you beating me over the head with villains and sinister plots? Who is the kid with the boat again? Maybe we’ll learn more about him later… maybe not…
Spielberg treats the material as if we are already familiar with the character and have an intimate knowledge of his quirks and characteristics. As someone that has never read the novels from which Steven Moffat, Edgar Wright and Joe Cornish adapted the script all I can assume at this moment in the film is Tintin must collect tons of model ships and this is the piece he needed to complete his collection. Once back at his apartment we learn that isn’t true and, in fact, it appears he collects typewriters. But considering the hubbub over his latest purchase he’s now keenly interested to the point it consumes him and the rest of the film.
The Adventures of Tintin simply bounces from one location to the next revealing a few new clues in relation to the mystery at the center of the plot, but the characters are so one note it’s impossible to care about the story or the ultimate outcome because you don’t care about the characters involved. It doesn’t help, either, that they are all rendered in emotionless CGI. Uncanny valley or not, there is always something off with this kind of motion capture animation and Tintin is no different.
This isn’t to take away from the film’s overall design and presentation. Outside of the distraction I found in the characters’ faces, the animation is actually quite impressive as is John Williams’ bouncy score and the action sequences, particularly a one-shot above the streets of Baghar that runs for nearly two-and-a-half-minutes without a single cut. It plays like a Universal Studios theme park attraction and is the true standout moment in the film as little else manages to offer up nearly as much excitement.
From a supporting character perspective, comedy relief is meant to be found in the drunken Captain Haddock (voiced by Andy Serkis) who relies on the continuous use of such phrases as “blistering barnacles” and “pilfering parasites” or any such variation of the two. It got to a point I began cringing each time he said it and during that previously mentioned one-shot I think he rattles off at least five such phrases. And Daniel Craig is quite spindly and sinister as the film’s lead villain, but I really don’t see what makes him so evil outside of the fact he just doesn’t know how to ask for things nicely.
But as I’ve been saying the whole time, the biggest issue is with the fact the characters are entirely unfamiliar and remain so throughout. Motivations and intentions are clear, but a greater understanding of these characters can’t be found. Instead of wasting four minutes on a meaningless credit sequence to open the film, perhaps Spielberg could have used that time with a sequence such as the opening of Raiders of the Lost Ark to give us greater insight into what kind of life Tintin leads and his personality rather than placing all the emphasis on the adventure portion. A little character goes a long way, I’m not asking for much.
Tintin, as portrayed here, is just a straight-laced young investigator with a nose for trouble, which is fine, but it’s not very interesting. While Tintin brings to life some great moments of action, it all becomes meaningless noise amidst a story and a mystery I never cared about or would care to revisit. Should a sequel be made something will have to be done to make Tintin more engaging rather than telling us he’s excited by a mystery and therefore we should be too.
