The great thing about horror movies seemingly created by grabbing a handful of words from the dictionary is that even if the combination of strange bedfellows gets you on the hook, you have a reasonable expectation that it will likely be okay at best, and if it’s terrible? Well, you’ve wasted 90 minutes on less worthwhile experiences in any given week, haven’t you? You just need to see if the word soup tastes good.
The idea of having a slasher movie centered on the most absurd premise is the pinnacle of this, and the concept behind Matthew Goodhue’s Slotherhouse resembles blindfolded throws at a dartboard with words stuck to it. The three attempts gave us a “sloth slasher sorority movie.”
So even though the trailer looked fun in a shallow way, I went into Slotherhouse expecting nothing more than a passable time waster by committee. But the truth is, Goodhue’s silly slasher revels in its absurdity, and that creates a genuinely entertaining spectacle.
Sigma Lambda Theta senior Emily Young (Lisa Ambalavanar) is a nice polite girl who dreams of becoming house president for her sorority. The problem is, she’s up against the very popular Brianna (Sydney Craven), who is the current president, and very much on a mission to destroy any potential usurpers. A chance encounter with a poacher lets Emily know that hey, maybe a pet sloth would be a good way to boost her own social position. Delightfully, Slotherhouse continuously uses this kind of swimmy logic and mainly succeeds because there’s a steadfast conviction to it that overrides reason.
Events conspire and Emily acquires a sloth from the aforementioned poacher, and the audience knows from the off that this is no ordinary sloth. In the opening scene, this particular sloth makes short work of a more dangerous animal before getting drugged, but by the time it reaches Emily, it’s already taken a human life.
Emily brings the sloth back to the sorority house and the other sisters fall in love with the adorable creature. All except Brianna, who sees the surge in Emily’s popularity and tries her utmost to get rid of the fuzzy mascot before Emily can take her throne. The sloth has other ideas.
The social dynamic of Slotherhouse is perhaps the most predictable aspect of the movie. Everyone is a glib stereotype, and 90% of the cast barely deserves a mention because the storytelling renders them dispensable chuck, but it proves to be a workable structure for the absurd nonsense of what is to come.
Make no bones about it, Slotherhouse is barely interested in any human character beyond perhaps four of the many ladies and two gentlemen in this movie, and while that does make its stakes extremely low, it also makes the majority of the cast great fodder for the sloth that comes to be known as Alpha.
Ahh, Alpha. The animal star steals this movie almost entirely because its goofy and violent actions are far superior to the high-energy attempts at pop culture-saturated comedy the human actors get. The core of this movie may well be embedded in the bitchy rivalry of a college dramedy, but it’s background noise. Because whenever that adorable yet clinically vicious sloth enters the picture, nothing else matters but what she does next.
The easy takeaway from a sloth-led slasher would be that they aren’t as slow and docile as you think. But since the dawn of Jaws, I think we’ve gone past that particular brand of fabled fallacy about wild animals. Goodhue gets that, and instead decides that Slotherhouse’s Alpha should be an entirely absurd and unrealistic depiction of a sloth. Alpha is not a mutant or test subject gone wrong, she’s just a very clever, very bloody sloth with a thirst for vengeance and selfies.
Alpha, a creature living in the jungle just weeks ago, can use the internet, deduce GPS routes, and form complex schemes. The seemingly languid creature’s best quality is how utterly deceptive it is. Alpha plans all manner of horrible deaths for the sisters of Sigma Lambda Theta, and riffs on plenty of pop culture moments in the process. It’s not particularly forthcoming with its violence, and most kills cut away or go to the next scene before showing anything graphic. So don’t go into Slotherhouse expecting, well…a slaughterhouse.
Alpha is performed by a puppeteer. That adds something to the tone of Slotherhouse. In a world where we get these high concept pitches like Cocaine Bear that fizzle out because they relied on CG beasts, Slotherhouse’s commitment to its puppetry instantly elevates it above the industry’s ineffectual shots at creating the 2020’s Snakes on a Plane, but better.
Sure, a lot of the humor breaks down to asking, “Wouldn’t it be funny if a sloth did this,” but it works. It is funny to see a sloth in a two-piece, sunning itself and chugging a beer. It is amusing to see a sloth involved in a swordfight, and it is hilarious that a sloth sets up its own social media account. The wilder and more unrealistic Alpha’s actions become, the more entertainment is mined from the movie.
Even though the human cast is quite throwaway, it serves some purpose beyond being fodder. The viewpoints of both Emily and Brianna in their pursuit of presidential fame are devoid of care and sympathy for their fellow sisters, and that’s a point rammed home the further into the madness Slotherhouse goes. Ultimately, it’s the lesson to be learned for Emily. Dabbling in politics can be a corrupting experience, and if you are particularly unluckily, your actions will invoke the wrath of a very extraordinary sloth.
The social media focus of the presentation ensures it keeps the attention. The main players get pop-up social media profiles to act as cliff notes on the kind of characters they are, and during the battle to be elected, the affections of the voting sisters are represented by hearts popping over their heads in the kind of waves you see on live streams. Credit where it’s due, that adds a bit more flavor to the movie and feeds into some of Alpha’s funnier antics.
Slotherhouse Review: The Final Verdict
Slotherhouse is a touch tamer than I expected of the slasher, and I’d surely be forgiven if I forgot every human character seconds after writing this review. I could also end up jumbling the underlying sorority plot up with countless others, but what matters most is that Slotherhouse is the right kind of stupid. A knowing stupidity that transcends logic and becomes acceptably messy fun.
Score 7/10
As ComingSoon’s review policy explains, a score of 7 equates to ”Good.” A successful piece of entertainment that is worth checking out, but it may not appeal to everyone.
