[5:10:53 PM] Laremy says: I just had the worst grilled cheese ever. You wouldn’t think you could mess something like that up.
[5:11:27 PM] Laremy says: Jennifer Aniston’s still got it you guys.
[5:12:34 PM] Brad says: We are about ready to get this show started and I think Best Supporting Actress will be the first award, which means Lupita vs. JLaw immediately.
[5:13:16 PM] Laremy says: Will Smith, y’all.
[5:13:47 PM] Brad says: I love how we tell celebrities they are “great” because they are down to earth. I’m down to earth, aren’t I great too?
[5:15:11 PM] Brad says: It really seems like being a celeb is a tough life, I mean, Versace made Jada Pinkett her dress. “They made it for me…” Oh did they Jada? Did they?
[5:15:29 PM] Laremy says: Jeremy Renner, aka “the guy who didn’t get a nom for American Hustle. #NotBitter
[5:16:19 PM] Laremy says: Jess Cagle, pound for pound, the shortest man in Hollywood.
[5:16:39 PM] Brad says: My god, there are still 13 minutes until the show starts.
[5:17:58 PM] Brad says: ABC has prepped a lot of little featurettes.
[5:19:27 PM] Laremy says: Who is Robin Roberts interviewing?
[5:20:59 PM] Brad says: At least ABC also has a lot of commercials prepared for us.
[5:23:15 PM] Laremy says: The Twitterers love “Resurrection!” I gotta watch now!
[5:24:09 PM] Laremy says: I think this is the year I get every category correct.
[5:24:52 PM] Brad says: Calling the Oscars a “special moment” is a nasty little oxymoron.
[5:26:23 PM] Brad says: We’re about to start! Are you excited?
[5:26:46 PM] Laremy says: 200 seconds away!!!
[5:27:27 PM] Brad says: Ellen DeGeneres is hosting by the way, I haven’t even mentioned her yet and I actually like her and am happy she’s the host.
[5:30:01 PM] Laremy says: I cosign that.
[5:30:17 PM] Brad says: It’s the Oscars! This is so SPECIAL!!!!
[5:30:46 PM] Laremy says: Let’s hear some jokes!
[5:30:57 PM] Brad says: Nicholas Hoult is keeping Jennifer Lawrence entertained and the white tux is definitely the way to go.
[5:31:24 PM] Brad says: Charlize is not amused.
[5:32:06 PM] Brad says: Love hearing Ellen point out how the same people are nominated year after year.
[5:33:06 PM] Laremy says: The Somali / sommelier joke worked for me. Makka me laugh.
[5:37:27 PM] Brad says: Ellen pokes a little fun of Jennifer Lawrence for falling last year, fell out of the car this year… “If you win tonight I think we should bring you the Oscar.”
[5:37:42 PM] Laremy says: Ellen has smart-ass comedy down. Working well so far.
[5:38:13 PM] Brad says: Ellen: McConaughey is a “dirty pretty”
[5:38:45 PM] Brad says: “Speaking of sex at rodeos, Bruce Dern is here tonight.” – Ellen
[5:38:53 PM] Laremy says: Bruce Dern looks nonplussed by default.
[5:39:29 PM] Brad says: Ellen to Jonah Hill: “You showed me something in that movie I haven’t seen for a very long time.”
[5:40:05 PM] Brad says: “Possibility #1, 12 Years a Slave wins Best Picture; Possibility #2, you’re all racist.”
[5:40:28 PM] Brad says: Anne Hathaway will now present Best Supporting Actor and she is annoying me, sorry, just being honest.
[5:40:43 PM] Brad says: I think we all know this is going to Jared Leto.
[5:41:04 PM] Laremy says: You guys know I wrote a whole thing about The Academy not digging women and minorities, right? http://www.amazon.com/See-Change-Studios-Abandoned-Superheroes-ebook/dp/B00EZQ71T8/
[5:41:33 PM] Laremy says: MM wins this, and I go 1-1, and we all move on with our lives.
[5:41:51 PM] Laremy says: Err, Jared Leto I mean. Sorry. Black out drunk already.
[5:42:45 PM] Laremy says: “LET-O HIM WIN AN OSCAR!” would be my headline.
[5:42:50 PM] Brad says: And the winner is
[5:43:21 PM] Brad says: Lots of hugs, handshake for Jonah Hill.
[5:44:23 PM] Laremy says: Wonder if they will play Leto off?
[5:45:12 PM] Brad says: Okay, so the show is going to go long…
[5:45:22 PM] Brad says: We are just now getting to the thank yous.
[5:46:48 PM] Brad says: #Oscars #blessed and did she say “penis”?
[5:47:00 PM] Brad says: And now we have Jim Carrey, for some reason.
[5:47:46 PM] Laremy says: Yeah, but Bruce Dern can’t win. He shoulda just stayed home. Maybe ordered a pizza.
[5:47:59 PM] Brad says: I like how Jim Carrey makes everything about him. It’s impressive.
[5:48:39 PM] Laremy says: Decent LSD joke. Defense will stipulate.
[5:49:54 PM] Laremy says: Remember when Shrek was a thing? That was a weird time.
[5:49:57 PM] Brad says: Okay, so he’s introducing an animated heroes segment, which isi one of those waste of time things we get tired of within the next hour or so.
[5:50:58 PM] Laremy says: To recap, Ellen presented Kerry Washington who presented Pharrell.
[5:51:01 PM] Brad says: Kerry Washington, a pregnant Kerry Washington, will now introduce Pharrell Williams performing “Happy” from Despicable Me 2
[5:51:18 PM] Brad says: YES! He has his hat on!
[5:52:00 PM] Laremy says: Yogi Bear is killing it.
[5:52:36 PM] Brad says: “Don’t come to me,” Jennifer Lawrence as Pharrell starts dancing with the nominees… Lupita was up for it.
[5:53:11 PM] Laremy says: Pharrell wants everyone to get up. But too many of them would break a hip by doing so. #SafetyFirst
[5:53:11 PM] Brad says: Well, well, he actually got the celebs to actually stand up. Kudos Monsieur Williams.
[5:56:52 PM] Brad says: If they stick to last year’s schedule we’re getting Best Animated Film next.
[5:57:07 PM] Brad says: Sam Jackson and Naomi Watts are the next presenters.
[5:57:45 PM] Brad says: Oh, we’re getting Best Costumes and Make & Hair… a double dip, Costumes first.
[5:58:02 PM] Laremy says: Here’s where I go ahead of Brad … go Gatsby!
[5:58:26 PM] Brad says: And the winner is
[6:00:04 PM] Brad says: So I assume we now give Dallas Buyers Club the makeup award
[6:00:33 PM] Brad says: And the winner is
[6:00:54 PM] Laremy says: “Three for three, look at me, wheeeeeeee!” – Laremy
[6:01:38 PM] Brad says: Robin Mathews said the makeup budget was $250 on Dallas Buyers Club… I have a hard time believing that, but it helped win an Oscar. So…
[6:03:45 PM] Brad says: Harrison Ford is coming out to the Indiana Jones theme to… announce three of the Best Picture nominees? He sounds really happy to be there.
[6:05:31 PM] Laremy says: I don’t remember them doing three Best Pic noms in a row. I like it. More efficient.
[6:05:47 PM] Laremy says: But wait, what are they going to use the extra time on? NOOOOOOO!!
[6:06:12 PM] Brad says: Next presenter is Channing Tatum to speed read… something.
[6:06:56 PM] Brad says: Someone forgot to turn their mic off.
[6:08:17 PM] Brad says: Okay, it’s 6PM and it’s time for a page break. Click here and join us for more fun on the next page.
