Top Ten Most Disappointing Movies of 2012

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#6
The Bourne Legacy

Jeremy Renner in The Bourne Legacy
Jeremy Renner in The Bourne Legacy
Photo: Universal Pictures

PLACE ON MY MOST ANTICIPATED LIST: #12

My anticipation for The Bourne Legacy would probably best be described as cautious anticipation. Yet, as the release date neared I felt myself becoming more and more excited about seeing it.

The idea it would play alongside the events of The Bourne Ultimatum was fascinating, creating a perfect tie-in with the story we already knew and yet introducing a new perspective. Then we learn Bourne and our new character Aaron Cross (Jeremy Renner) have essentially been made into super soldiers through genetic research and all throughout the film Cross is running around looking for his “chems” as he picks up a girl (Rachel Weisz) to tag along in what is really nothing more than a Bourne Identity retread.

SNIPPET FROM MY REVIEW: (read the full review here)

Even more frustrating is looking back at what is built in the first 30 or so minutes of Legacy and thinking how interesting it could have all been. Such as a female operative in Japan. Why focus on a Jason Bourne clone as opposed to exploring what kind of different tactics a woman in the same position might explore? At every moment this film could have been different from the three Bourne predecessors, but instead it literally kills off any chance of that happening.

#5
Ted

Ted (2012) movie review
Mark Wahlberg and Ted (voiced by Seth MacFarlane) in Ted
Photo: Universal Pictures

PLACE ON MY MOST ANTICIPATED LIST: #21

Ted is now the highest grossing worldwide R-rated comedy ever. That boggles the mind considering I received little to no enjoyment watching it. It’s a weak, unfunny rom-com and there is very little else to say that I didn’t already say in my review. The disappointment came as a result of expecting something funny and getting something that wasn’t.

SNIPPET FROM MY REVIEW: (read the full review here)

I expected a lot more than what Ted brought to the table. Seth MacFarlane has a knack for pointing out the weaknesses in films and television shows and yet when it comes to creating a film of his very own he decides on the most cliche storytelling available to him. Sure, there are a few funny moments, some outrageous moments that made me laugh, but it couldn’t have been more than 30 minutes into this film that I was ready to leave. […]

I couldn’t look past this sappy, sorry, cliched relationship angle that was getting in the way of me having a good time. I realized all I was watching was a pair of idiots, one of which happened to be a teddy bear, going around doing stupid things inside a traditional rom-com with jokes elevated from the PG-13 level to R.

#4
Brave

Queen + Bear = QueenBear.
Queen + Bear = QueenBear.
Photo: Brad Brevet (the best artist in the world)

PLACE ON MY MOST ANTICIPATED LIST: #26

Above is a crude mock-up of the plotline found in Brave, which I posted in an article after the film was released, expanding on one of the reasons I disliked the film so much.

The fact the visionaries at Pixar decided to explore Scottish history for their latest film and the best they could come up with was a story about a brat of a child that turns her mother into a bear by serving her a poisoned dessert is still frustrating to this day. The rest of the film is a matter of waiting for that problem to be resolved, thereby resolving the mother-daughter relationship and doing away with arranged marriages.

Beyond disappointing, Brave was a bad film and one I should have at least name-checked on my Worst of 2012 list the more I think about it. For me it’s the worst film Pixar has ever made and a true miss when it comes to their first film centered on a female lead.

SNIPPET FROM MY REVIEW: (read the full review here)

It’s a shame this film is such a miss. It’s a wasted opportunity and probably the first Pixar film I have ever seen that I absolutely have zero desire to ever visit again. Brave is a different kind of “bad” film. You can see the talent at work, but it lacks direction and purpose. I get the feeling someone felt there was something important they wanted to say, but were either too scared to say it or just couldn’t find the words. Either way, it doesn’t work, and the story should have been trashed and rewritten following the end of Act One.

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