I’m not sure how many of you are familiar with the movie news blog FilmDrunk.com, but to compare it to RopeofSilicon, in movie trailer speak, it’s exactly the same – only different. I bring up FilmDrunk because Vince over there does an amazing job introducing new Jason Statham films in a Jason Statham voice as the Jason Statham from his movies such as Crank and Transporter. So, when Lionsgate sent over a new clip from Transporter 3 I instantly got in touch with Vince and checked to see if he would be doing a new Statham voice to introduce the new clip, and if so if I could rip it off. He obliged and here it is followed by the new fock’n clip.
Oi, Stafam ‘ere again. Oy’s heah ta introduce dis new clip from da Transpor’a paht free, now don’ oy? In dis one, some black cunt insults moy fock’n sazz wagon whoilst a fit bird Oy’s knobbin watches. An’ so Oy’s loike, Oi, don’ nobody insults moy fock’n sazz wagon, now doesn’ dey? An’ so oy giv da black cunt da stink oy. An ‘e sends over dese cunts ta troy an bash me. So oy sees dese ovva cunts comin, an Oy give em da first shot. An Oy’s loike, “Oi, if Oy wanted a pinch anna tickle, oy’d a called your mums, now wouldn’ oy?” An so Oy stahts bashin’ cunts, an frowin fock’n karate kicks an oww dat, an pretty soon da fock’n cunts is pretty well buggered. So Oy look ova at da fit bird ta see what she’s finkin, an oy kin tell she’s aww loike, “Oi, dat’s noice, but whoy ‘as you still got aww your clovves on?” An oy realoize she’s roight! Oy’m fock’n Jason Stafam! Oy don’ keep moy shir’ on whoile oy’s buggerin cunts, now does Oy? So den whoile Oy’s bashin’ da rest a da cunts, Oy staht takin’ moy clovves off, piece boy piece, dat way, boy da toime dere’s no more cunts ta bash, moy clovves will aww be off, an oy kin staht knobbin da bird straightaway. Pretty fock’n cleva, now doesn’ oy.
Come on, that’s gold! You can check out several more bits of Stafam voice here, here, here and here.