Yes, yes. We’re all very impressed that you’ve seen every installment of the Halloween, Nightmare on Elm Street and Friday the 13th franchise. You should be proud of yourself. Yes, we respect the fact that you have been to every James Wan horror flick on opening night. You can call yourself a fan of horror movies, but can you call yourself the fan?
Some of these films are surprisingly good. Others are predictably not, though they do fall into the “so bad they’re good” category of horror films. We have slashers, psychos, demons, clowns and, worst of all, teenagers. *shudder* The films in this list include almost genre that has made the Horror Genre a staple of the film industry. Perhaps you have seen some of these entries and, for that, we applaud you. On the whole, however, these films have been extricated from the bowels of horror (though we have included a theatrically-released film that doesn’t seem to get as much love as it should). After watching these films (at least, those that are available), you will be able to proudly stick out your chest, raise your fist and proclaim yourself to be the ultimate horror fan. With that being said, light a candle, lock the door and brace yourself.
10) As Above/So Below (2014)
This criminally-underrated film from 2014 battles the horrors of hell just as much as it battles the horrors of one’s past. Archaeologist Scarlett Marlowe (played by the stunning Perdita Weeks) brings an old friend and a film crew deep into the bowels of the Paris Catacombs, searching for life’s greatest treasure — Flamel’s Philosopher Stone. This stone is alleged to grant eternal life, which is ironic because Marlowe and her team are risking theirs as they get further and further into the Catacombs. These Catacombs, you see, lead straight into hell and in order to make it out alive, this crew will have to face demons, many of which are their very own.
Yes, it is a found footage flick, which is an automatic red flag. This one gets a pass because it’s so. Freaking. Good. It combines the fear of the dark, fear of the unknown and fear of the long-forgotten in a unique take on The Divine Comedy.
Purchase now on Amazon for $13.99.
9) Last Shift (2014)
Some horror films startle you with jump scares. Other films build tension throughout and only sometimes deliver a payoff. Some horror films find you rooting for the killer. There are some horror films, however, that stay with you long after the credits roll. Last Shift is one of those movies. It starts with a fairly typical plot- a rookie cop is assigned the last shift (heh) at a newly-abandoned police station. She is supposed to wait for a hazardous-material crew to come collect some biochemical evidence. It sounds like a typical “girl alone in a (fill-in-the-blank) movie,” but it is anything but. As soon as this film starts, it begins to unnerve you. The use of sound is exceptional here. You wouldn’t think that a simple phone ringing would be scary. You’d be wrong. There are overt scenes of horror, to be sure, but there is this feeling of dread that builds throughout the movie and lingers long after you turn out the lights. Chances are, you’ll probably turn at least one back on. This movie is like a nightmare that you can’t wake up from and if you’ve ever thought about becoming a police officer, you might reconsider after watching this film.
Purchase now on Amazon for $8.99.
8) Carnival of Souls (1998)
This is a remake of Herk Harvey’s 1962 horror classic, but it stands on its own and, in fact, is a remake in name only. Carnival of Souls focuses on Alex Grant, who watched her mother get married by an extremely creepy Louis Seagram (played by Larry Miller, a comedian most famous for his role as the Dean in Eddie Murphy’s Nutty Professor). Seagram is a circus clown, you see. And because circus clowns are deceptively charming, he begins a relationship with Grant’s mom. It is insinuated that he’s interested in more than just the mom, though. Ick. There’s more to this movie than just a clown, however. If Last Shift was a nightmare, then Carnival of Souls is like a fever dream. You wake up, but find that you’re still dreaming. And then a clown murders your mom. So yeah. Terrifying.
Purchase now on Amazon for $11.95.
7) Demon Knight (1995)
This film is starting to get the recognition that it deserves, more than two decades after its release. As a feature-length entry into the Tales from the Crypt Universe, Demon Knight supplied as many laughs as it did frights. This Tale tells the story of a halfway house being overtaken by a cavalcade of Demons, led by the titular Knight. This knight is darker than dark and he is on a quest for, quite literally, the Holy Grail. Unfortunately, he meets his match in William Saddler and Jada Pinkett-Smith. Both do a phenomenal job in their performance, but it is Billy Zane as the Demon Knight that really excels. He is charming, seductive and funny but he won’t take long to scare the pants off you, as well. In a perfect world, this film would have launched an entire franchise, but its two follow-ups, Bordello of Blood and Ritual, vastly underperformed. And kind of sucked. They should have added Billy Zane. Every movie should add Billy Zane. He’s a real cool guy.
Purchase now on Amazon for $22.99.
6) The Crush (1993)
Okay, so. This film is scary in a different way. The Crush is described as an “erotic thriller,” which is kind of weird because it focuses on a 14-year-old pursuing a writer named Nick. (Believe me, I reconsidered my career choices after this film). Nick is played by Cary Elwes, post-Princess Bride and the 14-year-old in question is played by Alicia Silverstone, pre-Clueless. Though actually sixteen at the time — as well as emancipated from her parents — it’s still pretty weird watching a “tale of seduction” involving a teenage girl. Basically, this film is Fatal Attraction with Hormones and you find yourself asking how Westley ever found himself in this situation. Allegedly based on real events that happened to the director, The Crush is Silverstone’s first featured role and she knocks it out of the park. However, in the current climate, it’s definitely an eyebrow-raising narrative choice.
Purchase now on Amazon for $8.99.
5) Truth or Dare?: A Critical Madness (1986)
This is the weirdest movie you will ever see. It has a familiar plot — “guy catches wife in bed with his best friend and embarks on a killing spree.” Truth or Dare could have been any DTV feature released in the 80’s. But it was so, so much more. This was low-budget in all of the best ways and, to be honest, we’re still not even quite sure if it’s real. Did we dream it? Were we high? Did he really just kill a child (and future Backstreet Boy) with a chainsaw? What year are we in? Who even are we? These are the questions that you ask yourself while watching this film. It is a descent into madness that has stuck with us for years. The acting is terrible. The writing is atrocious. The cinematography is abysmal. And we love it. It is, quite possibly, the “Best Worst Movie” we have ever seen. Your life is not complete until you’ve seen it.
Where to Watch: Available, for free, in its entirety on YouTube
4) Clownhouse (1989)
We’ve covered this film in our Top 10 Killer Clown Movies, but it bears repeating. Clownhouse is terrifying. It is scary because 3 clowns coming to your house to murder you is always scary, but it’s also terrifying because the real monster of this film was the one who directed it. Victor Salva, of Jeepers Creepers fame, molested the young boy who was the star of Clownhouse. This is unacceptable and reprehensible and, in a #metoo world, we’re begging for the case to be reexamined and for Salva to get more than a slap on the wrist for his atrocities. As we grapple as a society with how to view content produced by real-life monsters before they were exposed, whether or not you want to view Clownhouse will vary by person.
Should you choose to watch, Clownhouse is like the clown version of Halloween, and it is scary. It follows a young boy and his two brothers who spend an evening at the circus. The circus comes home with them, however, and it’s like…worst-case scenario for a coulrophobe. The performances of lead Nathan Forrest Winters and a young Sam Rockwell are awesome and the clowns in question do a superb job of showing the world just how menacing circus clowns really are.
Where to Watch: Available for free, in its entirety, on YouTube
3) The Paperboy (1994)
Hokay so. This film is similar to The Crush, in that it features a teenager who is obsessed with a grownup. But what The Paperboy lacks in innuendo, it more than makes up for with the seriously creepy performance of the aforementioned Paperboy, played by Marc Marut. Marut plays a 12-year-old boy who, like most of us, just wants to deliver papers, make a few extra bucks for the arcade and murder anybody that stands between him and his love interest. It’s not just the older woman that Marut is interested in. He also develops a relationship with her young daughter, not in a creepy way (well, okay, yeah it’s creepy but it’s not THAT kind of creepy) — he just wants to have the perfect family; one he grew up without. We’re not sure if he wants to play daddy or husband or son or brother but one thing that Marut is great at playing is a creepy teenager. He even kills Happy Gilmore’s grandma, which makes him one of the worst movie villains of all time.
Where to Watch: Available for free, in its entirety, on YouTube
2) Slashers (2001)
There are slashers and then there is Slashers — a 2001 Canadian Horror Film, written and directed by Maurice Devereaux. The scariest thing about Slashers is that it could, conceivably, happen. It’s about a Japanese reality show that pits its contestants against real-life ‘Slashers.’ They win by surviving, which many do not. This is about as independent as one can get when making a film and while the effects and acting are shoddy at best, this is a true love-letter to slasher films. You can tell that Devereaux poured his heart and soul into this movie, while his cast provided the buckets of blood. It surprisingly offers up 3 slashers (have we said ‘Slashers’ enough yet?) that could be cardboard but are actually rather iconic, thanks to the performances of Neil Napier and Christopher Piggins, playing Chainsaw Charlie/Preacherman and Doctor Ripper, respectively. Sarah Joslyn Crowder also does a great job as Megan Lowry, the predictable “final girl.” She starts out as a bleeding heart dummy, but we end up loving her and rooting her on as she comes face to face with her enemies…and maybe even fellow contestants.
Purchase now on Amazon for $13.99.
1) Cabin by the Lake (2000)
In a perfect world, Judd Nelson would have been a huge star. As the bad boy of The Breakfast Club, Nelson displayed a raw charisma that should have strapped a rocket to his back. Unfortunately, that’s not how it happened and while his career is admirable, he is not the star that he should’ve/could’ve been. The good news, however, is that Nelson did make a movie that is, for our money, one of the greatest Direct-to-TV films ever made. Filmed for the USA Network in the year 2000, Cabin by the Lake is the epitome of “thriller.” It tells the story of Stanley, a screenwriter whose scripts about murdering girls and harvesting them in an underwater garden are so well-written, it’s almost as if he has real-life experience doing it. He does. Stanley is a murderer and he harvests young girls in an underwater grave. Heavy, yes? It also happens to have a subtle humor that can only be delivered by Nelson. He is the prototypical “guy next door,” just like Dahmer was. Stanley is friends with everybody, including the local sheriff. Sure, he might act a little strange, he stares from time to time, but that’s just Stanley. He’s “just a writer.”
Where to Watch: Available, for free, in its entirety on YouTube
We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.
