10 Things to Hate About Justice League
We all have them. Whether it’s a television show, a song, a book or a film, we all have those guilty pleasures that we’re afraid to tell others about. We’re afraid of their judging eyes, their biting comments and, worst of all, their mean tweets. In public, we scoff at these films, but when the crowds disperse and there’s nobody around to movie shame you, it’s a different story. You close the blinds, put on your favorite onesie and put on a movie that you love to hate to love. Whether it was maligned by critics, bombed at the box office or enraged social media, this movie is one that you don’t outwardly exclaim you’re a fan of. Secretly, however, it’s one of your favorites. You love it in spite of yourself. You love it despite its many flaws and you love it despite your better judgment. And you hate yourself for it.
Much like Julia Stiles hates the fact that she loves Heath Ledger in ’10 Things I Hate About You,’ your relationship with certain films is just as dysfunctional. Still, you love these movies despite its flaws.
10) Superman is Barely in It
We get what Justice League was going for when it decided to leave Supes out of the majority of the film. But even the most casual of fans knew that Superman wasn’t actually dead for good. Justice League could have brought him back to life a lot sooner than it actually did. In fact, Superman should have been one of the main antagonists of this film.
9) Batman is Bad at Secret Identities
Towards the beginning of Justice League, Batman captures a cowardly criminal on the rooftops of Gotham. It’s actually a pretty cool scene, minus one serious flaw. After catching the bad guy and also handling a Para demon, Batman calls home base and calls Alfred directly by his name, right by the criminal. It wouldn’t take a genius to figure out that the “Alfred” Batman is talking to just might be Bruce Wayne’s butler.
8) Like, Really Bad
Following that faux pas, Bruce Wayne travels to an Oceanside town to proposition Arthur Curry, better known as Aquaman, to join up. Curry turns down Wayne’s offer right in front of a bunch of people. We’re pretty sure that entire town now knows that Bruce Wayne is Batman.
7) Wonder Woman Should Have Been More Front and Center
After the disappointing turns for both Man of Steel and Batman v. Superman, who would have thought that it would be Wonder Woman to restore faith in the DCEU? Wonder Woman’s solo film was a genuine hit, both critically and commercially. Most importantly, it proved that comic book movies are no longer a boys club.
It perplexes, then, why Wonder Woman wasn’t more front and center in Justice League. She was the only proven hit by that point, yet she still played backseat to Batman, Aquaman, Superman and more.
6) Batman Should Not Be The One Cracking Jokes
It’s weird that we even have to mention this, but here goes. Fans were desperate for Justice League to lighten up a little bit. Both Man of Steel and BVS were bummers of a film, with very little levity. Justice League aimed to course-correct some of that and to an extent it worked. But out of all the characters that could have been cracking jokes, Batman should not have been one of them. He works best when he’s the straight man, allowing the more jovial heroes like Flash and Superman to make the jokes. If we never hear Batman tell us where he’s bleeding from again, it will be too soon.
5) Lois Who?
Lois Lane, allegedly the ‘key to everything,’ did almost nothing in Justice League. Despite warnings from Future-Flash in BVS, Lois wasn’t really the key to anything. One has to assume there were bigger plans for her, but her role ended up as collateral damage during the post-production of this film.
4) What Was the Bad Guy’s Name Again?
Seriously, we’re not trying to be funny. We forget who the bad guy in Justice League was.
3) So Many Unanswered Questions
It’s safe to assume that Justice League was the end of a shared DC Universe for the time being. This wouldn’t be as upsetting if there weren’t so many unresolved issues and questions, such as: What was Lois the key to? Who is Darkseid? (Obviously we know who Darkseid is, but in the context of the movie universe, we’ll never know). Is Superman still affected by his ‘death?’ Who were the guys with the green rings? (Again, we know. We’re being rhetorical here). Do Superman and Batman even really like each other? What’s Lex Luthor doing with Deathstroke? How’d he get out of jail? THERE ARE SO MANY QUESTIONS!!
1) But Mostly
Mostly we hate the way we don’t hate Justice League. Not even close, not even a little bit.
Not even at all.