TV Recap: SCREAM QUEENS Episode 104

SHOCK carves into the 4th episode of acclaimed series SCREAM QUEENS.

It’s Chanel-o-Ween, the time of year that Chanel sends gifts (by way of fake severed body parts) and demeaning notes to her Instagram fans who are insanely excited to get them. The episode opens with a weird docu-series feel that doesn’t seem to have any purpose in the rest of the episode. 

Anyway, getting back to the main story, the cops are at Kappa house, asking questions about the recent red devil attack. Wes and Gigi are weirdly convinced that the dean is the killer.

Grace and Pete visit the name on the list they found in the dean’s files. Mandy lives in a trailer in the middle of nowhere, and despite being at least a day before Halloween, they are dressed as Heather Graham and Matthew McConaughey from HOW TO LOSE A GUY IN 10 DAYS. She is strangely excited to see them, and invites them in – even serves them some roadkill armadillo. Mandy claims to have been off the grid since that night in 1995. The dean told the girls that they would be arrested for negligent homicide, so they can’t go to the cops. Instead she puts pillowcases over their heads, drives them out to the middle of nowhere, and makes them dig a grave. Mandy left school the next day (at Munsch’s suggestion) and hadn’t spoken to the other girls since. She heard they changed their names, one went to an institution, another suicided, a third was on Fox News. Mandy claims she didn’t know what happened to the baby, but one thing she knows for certain, the thing that rocks Grace’s world: the baby was a girl. Later on, the red devil kills Mandy in a bland, off-screen kill.

Zayday has decided she is running for Kappa president, and the black British guy from Chad’s frat wants to back her up. He thinks they can change the face of the Greek system, and suggests she hold a haunted house with money going to fight sickle cell anemia. When Zayday tells the rest of the Kappas her plan, Chanel goes ballistic and promises that she will lose, and make it her mission to ruin Zayday’s life. That night, Chanel’s minions find her sitting in her closet, sharpening knives, a glazed look on her face. She has another freakout, then calms down and the three Chanels decide to host a haunted pumpkin patch, with the money going to a worse disease: black hairy tongue. (Yeah, I don’t know either.)

Chad is about to start masturbating in a graveyard that night when Hester surprises him. They share with each other their death fetishes, and Hester outlines her plans to become Kappa president. Zayday will win, Hester will be named vice president, and then Zayday will suffer an unfortunate fall down the stairs. She won’t fuck him now, but tells him to wait by the phone and she will call when she finds a suitably scary place.

Wes is screening CHILDREN OF THE CORN for his film class. At this point, it seems pretty clear that Wes, not knowing what he is doing, is just playing for the kids whatever he has in his DVD collection. After class, Grace confronts him about her suspicion that she is the baby born at Kappa in 1995. Wes insists that is ridiculous, but it would explain why Grace has no birth certificate, no pictures of her mom, that kind of stuff. Wes insists she was born in a hospital, but Grace doesn’t believe him.

Both Grace and Pete get text messages to meet at 53 Shady Lane. The address is an abandoned, dilapidated house that Zayday plans to hold her haunted house at. The house is said to be haunted by an old hag dressed in black, who could be seen in her window, and whom children heard crying at night. Looking for proof, the kids sneaked upstairs and found a creepy altar of sorts, decorated with hundreds of decaying dolls. Grace does some more research and discovers that the reports came in in 1995. A few weeks before the kids “saw” the hag, a woman dressed in black was caught shoplifting twice: once milk, and another time diapers. Grace feels certain that this “hag” was caring for the Kappa baby.

Chad and Hester both show up at the Shady Lane house, having been brought by mysterious text messages. They don’t question them; instead they just go inside looking for the best place to have sex. Hester chooses a room, one with a wax figure of Ms. Bean laid out. Then she touches the “wax figure” and realizes this is really Ms. Bean. (Hester taps her leg and the skin cracks like an M&M, oozing yellow pus over her hand. Never seen a real body react like that.) As they try to run from the house, they find the corpses of the red devil’s other victims: Mandy, Shondell, Chanel #2, and Coney. They finally make it out of the house, screaming bloody murder. They try to warn people at the coffee shop, but everyone thinks this is a great gag and rush to see the “real” bodies at the haunted house.

When Zayday arrives, she is confused as to why people were there so early. She hears talk of the “real” bodies and freaks. She goes outside to call 911, and the operator just think it is a prank. Zayday takes the phone call outside, where she is snatched by the red devil. 

While Wes, the dean, and the Kappa girls regroup at the sorority house with the cops, trying to figure out who took Zayday, we go back to the Shady Lane house… and discover that the “hag” is none other than Gigi, dressed in a black cloak and sitting amongst her creepy dolls, muttering under her breath.

Also: Denise thinks that Zayday is the killer because she was rejected from Kappa in 1988 because she was black, and sees Zayday as everything she could have been; Chanel has a sudden burst of feminism when she decides it is time to stop eating cotton balls and start eating pizza (because her worth shouldn’t be judged by her looks) and then beating the crap out of an extra-douchey frat guy who tried to pick up on her.

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