Your Weekly Guide to New Movies for March 10, 2006
By Edward Douglas -

Greetings and welcome back to the Weekend Warrior, your weekly guide to the weekend’s new movies. Tune in every Tuesday for the latest look at the upcoming weekend, and then check back on Friday for final projections based on actual theatre counts.

THE BATTLE CRY!

Last year was the year of the slump, so I’d like to personally welcome everyone to… The Year of the Dumb!

I’m not sure what is going on right now, but so far this year, the box office has been teaming with stupid movies like Big Momma’s House 2 and The Pink Panther, which cater solely to the lowest common denominator—people who don’t want to think too much while watching movies. When you look at what has done well at the box office this year, it’s all about dumb high concepts, whether they're comedy (men in drag) or horror (bad remakes and sequels).

This week, there are no less than three stupid movies, starting with the romantic comedy Failure to Launch to the horror remake The Hills Have Eyes, and Disney’s remake of The Shaggy Dog, starring Tim Allen, which looks like it might end up being this year’s The Pacifier. Not to single out Disney, but they definitely seem to be playing up to the fact that kids seem eat up low brow physical humor and things that most intelligent adults would snub their noses at, except that we still take our kids to see them because it’ll keep them entertained for an hour or two.

I’m not sure what it says about the younger generation today, but I don’t think that they are any less smart than we were as kids. As a matter of fact, they’re probably more developed intellectually and culturally than we were. I know that my two nephews constantly amaze me by how smart they are, which says a lot about the current generation of parents, as well as today’s teachers, but they still seem to love physical humor or anything that involves bodily functions. As a kid, I used to be just as enthralled by Disney’s movies but looking back, I seem to remember them being sweet and fun rather than stupid and dumb and full of burping and fart jokes.

But it’s not just the younger kids who might not know better, but teens seem to be into anything that has sex, nudity, violence or action, regardless of how dumb it might in terms of story or characters.

Essentially, we’re living in a world where well-crafted intelligent films like Capote and Good Night, And Good Luck have trouble getting studio financing, because they might not have mass appeal. If I had money and someone came to me and said “Phillip Seymour Hoffman is Truman Capote”, I’d have my checkbook out before they finished the sentence, and yet instead, Hollywood keeps spending all their money on dumb high concept premises and remakes of movies that were never considered classics to begin with. The sad fact is that as long as people are dumb enough to spend money on that crap, Hollywood is going to keep on making them rather than trying to spend money on things that might be groundbreaking or thought-provoking or even halfway intelligent.

The real test whether people are looking for smarter films will come next week when Warner Bros. finally unleashes their politically-charged V For Vendetta, which is being marketed as a mainstream action flick. Will those who appreciated The Matrix for its intelligent storytelling come out to see it or will it just not be dumb enough for anyone?

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THE CHOSEN ONE:

DUCK SEASON (Warner Independent Studios)
Starring Enrique Arreola, Daniel Miranda, Diego Cataño, Danny Perea, Written and directed by Fernando Eimbcke
Rated R for language and some drug content
Tagline: “Adulthood is a moving target.”
Story: Two fourteen-year-old best friends plan to spend a day playing video games, but when the power goes out in their housing complex, they end up killing time with an older girl from across the hall and a pizza delivery man. REVIEW (Coming Soon!—okay, so I lied. Sorry!)

Duck Season is a fun little film from Mexico. Shot in black and white, it follows the adventures of two teen boys and the trouble they get into on a Sunday when they’re left alone. Joining in on their escapades is the older girl next door, who comes over to bake a cake since her stove is broken, and the pizza delivery man, who refuses to leave when they won’t pay him, saying that it took him longer than 30 minutes to deliver. Although not a lot really happens in this unconventional coming-of-age story, what these four get into over the course of the afternoon is what makes this quirky comedy so fun to watch.

Maybe it’s not too surprising that three of Mexico’s top directors—Alfonso Cuaron, Guillermo del Toro and Alejandro González Iñárritu--pulled together to offer the film its support, much like Quentin Tarantino and Wes Craven have done in recent years with various genre films. I spoke to Alfonso Cuaron recently, and he told me how he first heard about this movie and why it struck him as something he wanted to support. “I saw the film at Cannes during the Week de la Critique, and I fell in love with it immediately,” he said. “It's the kind of film that I love, a film where apparently nothing is happening but everything is happening, and everything is done in such an unpretentious way. It's a film that deals with so many different subjects and themes, and such profound themes in such a way that it makes everything look so easy, and even superficial. It marks the difference from the convention that "comedy doesn't travel well overseas" because supposedly each culture has a specific way of laughing at things. That is true in conventional comedy, but what Fernando does differently is that the film isn't just a comedy. There's an ironic detachment in which he's not quite making fun of the characters, but rather, he's observing human behavior with it, and that is where the humor comes from. The characters' behavior is universal; it's not about the specifics of any culture. What is great about this film is I've seen this film play in different countries, in front of different age groups, and it's played well with everyone. It pretty much always hits the same beats. It's not that in this country they like this more: the beats in each country are consistently found funny, and I think it has a lot to do with the film's universality.”

I asked him whether or not he saw parallels between the film and his own Y Tu Mama Tambien, to which he replied, “In retrospect, yes. In doing these interviews, I've starting seeing parallels between the characters, because it’s also two boys and a girl.”

Cuaron also told me a bit about the reasoning behind forming Esperanto pictures. “I talked with Fernando about who was producing the film, and they pretty much already had their operation in place. Later on, they found an obstacle in securing the release of the film in America, and that was where I came in. We needed to create this new entity in order to distribute this film, and Esperanto is a company I created that has a deal with Warner Brothers. To be honest, we just created it for this film.”

“By the way, I'm not in the business of producing,” he quickly added. “I'm a person that if I get involved with a project, it's because I want to see the film, and the vision of the filmmaker. At the end of the day, I'm not really into the production business. I was just a fan that wanted this movie to be seen.”

“If things work out, it could be an interesting venue to rescue a few orphans,” Cuaron mused when asked about the future of Esperanto. “The market here in America is so busy that it doesn't pick up some movies that are absolutely amazing, not because they’re obscure or inaccessible, but just because the market is busy. They just need some film that has some recognizable names or faces to get a hook behind it. If somebody finds a hook through Esperanto, that's what we're there for. Whatever comes along, no matter the language or the format. What matters is that it's exciting, that's it beautiful, and that it's surprising.”

“I don't believe Mexican cinema is experiencing a wave or a movement,” he told me when asked about the wave of interesting films from the Latin American region. “I think that we have really important people doing projects with cinema. In all of our countries, we've had similar dictatorships for 50-something years, and they tend to keep Latin America a very provincial place. They tend to keep everybody inside the borders, and in this way they deny the people access to the world. It's as if they're saying that the world was not made for little “mouses” like us Latin Americans. Now there's a whole new generation that wants to remind the world that we exist, and I think cinema is a projection of that. It's coincidental, but some of these people are my favorite directors right now, and it's not because they are Mexican. One is definitely Fernando, and the other is Carlos Reygadas, who I think is a revolutionary. He's such an uncommon animal, not just in Mexico but in any part of the world.”

Duck Season opens in New York and Los Angeles this weekend.

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NEW THIS WEEK:

FAILURE TO LAUNCH (Paramount)
Starring Matthew McConaughey, Sarah Jessica Parker, Zooey Deschanel, Justin Bartha, Bradley Cooper, Terry Bradshaw, Kathy Bates
Directed by Tom Dey (Shanghai Noon, Showtime); Written by Tom J. Astle, Matt Ember (Various TV-shows, upcoming: Get Smart)
Genre: Romantic Comedy
Rated PG-13 for sexual content, partial nudity and language
Tagline: “To leave the nest, some men just need a little push.”
Story: Ladies’ man Tripp (McConaughey) is living the high life, hanging out with his pals and , except that he’s never able to bring them home, because he lives with his parents! They’re sick of having their 37-year-old son in the house, so they hire a relationship expert (Sarah Jessica Parker) to date him and convince him to leave the nest.
Mini-Review: Some people will find this cookie-cutter romantic comedy entertaining, but it’s obviously not my kind of movie, since it’s often too formulaic to be any fun. The relationship between Parker and McConaughey isn’t too convincing and there are tons of plot holes, but it’s almost worth seeing solely for the side romance between Deschanel and Bartha, who are constantly stealing the movie from the more prominent stars. A few good laughs and surprises keep things light, and though predictable, it does win you over by the end. Rating: 6/10

It’s been a long time since there’s been a strong romantic comedy geared towards women, and many women should be able to relate to the premise of Failure to Launch, having to deal with guys who won’t grow up and who still live with their parents. Of course, to bring women into theatres, you have to have stars they like and want to see in a movie, and they could do a hell of a lot worse than the pairing of Matthew McConaughey and Sarah Jessica Parker. Only a few other leading men have been as successful in the rom-com genre than Matthew McConaughey, who starred opposite Jennifer Lopez in The Wedding Planner and a few years later, had a $100 million hit with Kate Hudson in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. Of course, former teen star Sarah Jessica Parker’s career was reignited from her long run on the hit HBO sitcom “Sex in the City,” a show watched and loved by millions of women, and her last movie, The Family Stone, ended up grossing over $50 million after a weaker $12 million opening. Fortunately, they both have a great supporting cast including Oscar winner Kathy Bates and football color commentator Terry Bradshaw as McConaughey’s parents, and indie maven Zooey Deschanel, Bradley Cooper from “Alias” and the scene stealing Justin Bertha (National Treasure) as the obligatory best friends. Of course, none of them will bring people into theatres, although they’ll all help the enjoyment factor. Originally, Failure to Launch was going to be released before Valentine’s Day, which would have almost guaranteed it a huge amount of business, but its sudden move to March would have seemed like a bad idea, although it gave Paramount more time to promote it. Unfortunately, the film's name might be its biggest stumbling block, as it makes no sense and people have joked that it sounds like an ad for viagara. That aside, women have generally been neglected in the last few weeks, barring the occasional kids’ movie, and the delay may have just made them more anxious for a movie like this. Since women don’t always rush out to see movies opening weekend, expect this to do okay, and then to have alarmingly long legs that defy the almost inevitable negative reviews the movie is bound to get.

Why I Should See It: A great cast including two actors who have already proven to be strong draws for women doing this type of comedy.
Why Not: This looks like it’s a very by-the-books cookie cutter romantic comedy.
Projection: $16 to 18 million opening weekend on its way to $50 million.

THE HILLS HAVE EYES (Fox Searchlight)
Starring Aaron Stanford, Ted Levine, Kathleen Quinlan, Vinessa Shaw, Emilie de Ravin, Dan Byrd, Robert Joy
Written and directed by Alexandre Aja (Furia, High Tension) with Gregory Levasseur
Genre: Drama, Horror, Thriller
Rated R for strong gruesome violence and terror throughout, and for language
Tagline: “The lucky ones die first.” (Before seeing the movie?)
Story: A family traveling through the Nevada desert are stalked, captured, tortured and killed by a family of mutants, victims of nuclear testing, in this remake of Wes Craven's film.
REVIEW

In the endless stream of horror remakes, it was only a matter of time before someone started looking at the earlier films of Wes Craven before he made a name for himself with Nightmare on Elm Street. One of the best known of these among horror fans is 1977’s The Hills Have Eyes, which followed the path of Herschell Gordon Lewis and Tobe Hooper to spawn a new wave of horror that included Halloween, Friday the 13^th, and other imitators. With the success of ‘70s horror remakes like Texas Chainsaw Massacre and The Amityville Horror, everyone is jumping on the remake bandwagon, and who better to direct this one than French horror director Alexandre Aja, whose High Tension offered just as much subversive, exploitative thrills as Craven’s original movie? Horror films don’t necessarily need a strong cast, and this one doesn’t have much of one to speak of, except for its star Aaron Stanford, who is best known as Pyro from the X-Men movies, and Ted Levine, best remembered as “Buffalo Bill” from Silence of the Lambs but who has become better known in recent years as Tony Shalhoub’s boss on the television show “Monk.” It also marks the return of Kathleen Quinlan, whose own ‘70s horror movie credentials includes the 1978 movie Nightmare in Blood. With very little box office draw between them, the movie is going to be sold strictly on its premise of killer mutants stalking a family in the desert and the promise of lots of blood and gore which that entails. Because it’s rated R, the younger teen audience who have been flocking to horror films might not be able to get into this, but really, only diehard horror fans will remember the original Wes Craven movie. Younger audiences will probably think that this movie is ripping off The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (the remake!) or even Wrong Turn, which just goes to show how overused this premise has become in recent years. The good thing is that the movie has one of the strongest marketing campaigns for a horror movie since Texas Chainsaw Massacre with great commercials and posters literally everywhere, so the audience that flocked out to see The Texas Chainsaw Massacre will probably be out in force to see this on opening weekend.

Why I Should See It: These are the only mutants you’ll be seeing before Memorial Day.
Why Not: None of them are nearly as hot as Famke Janssen!
Projection: $15 to 17 million opening weekend on its way to roughly $40 million.

THE LIBERTINE (The Weinstein Company)
Starring Johnny Depp, Samantha Morton, John Malkovich, Rosamund Pike, Tom Hollander, Johnny Vegas, Kelly Reilly, Jack Davenport, Richard Coyle, Francesca Annis, Claire Higgins
Directed by Laurence Dunmore (various commercials): Written by Stephen Jeffreys
Genre: Drama, Comedy, Period Piece
Rated R for strong sexuality including dialogue, violence and language
Tagline: “He didn’t resist temptation. He pursued it.”
Story: John Wilmot, the second Earl of Rochester (Johnny Depp), a playwright and a dastardly knave who abducted his virginal wife but has his eye on a young stage engenue (Samantha Morton). Fortunately, he has a supporter in King Charles II (John Malkovich), who commissions a play that ends up mocking him, so he exiles Wilmot from London
REVIEW

In the mid-90s, actor John Malkovich put on a production of Stephen Jeffreys’ play “The Libertine” with Chicago’s Steppenwolf Theatre Company. He felt so strongly about the play about the lecherous John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester, the king’s personal playwright who did everything to excess, that he decided to produce a film based on the play. Knowing that to succeed as a film it would need a younger and more popular actor, he convinced Johnny Depp to don the wig for the leading role and although originally, he was going to direct it himself, he instead gave commercial director Laurence Dunmore the chance to direct his first feature. (Dunmore’s next film will be an adaptation of James Frey’s controversial “A Million Little Pieces.”) Malkovich instead took on the role of King Charles, a character who also appeared in the similar theatre-driven period piece Stage Beauty in 2004. Those two big names were impressive enough to bring in the rest of the cast, including a number of strong British actors like Samantha Morton and an inordinate amount of actors who also appeared in the Working Titles adaptation of Pride & Prejudice. Of course, Depp has been riding the crest of a wave since his blockbuster smash, Disney’s Pirates of the Caribbean, and this is another movie that puts him in period costume, but the character he plays is admittedly unlikable, which might put off even his most diehard fans. The film’s R-rating and its sexual nature will also hurt as far as bringing in Depp’s younger female fans. After spending years in development hell, The Libertine was originally going to be released in 2004 as Miramax’s attempt at getting Johnny Depp his much-deserved Oscar, but then they decided to go with the much friendlier Finding Neverland instead. This was moved to the August/September dumping ground of most their movies, but then the Weinsteins decided to bring this with them to their new company. The Weinstein Company gave it an Oscar qualification run in December, but it was too no avail, since few found it Oscar worthy. Still, Depp’s name was enough to get it a moderately wide release, and it’s being promoted with commercials that tout it as “the most controversial film of the year.” Honestly, this is going to be for diehard theatre and period piece buffs only, and probably will only do well in the bigger cities before quickly disappearing.

Why I Should See It: Johnny Depp and Samantha Morton give performances worthy of the works of the great Bard.
Why Not: The subject matter is going to turn off a lot of fans of both actor.
Projection: $2 to 3 million opening weekend on its way to around $6 million total.

THE SHAGGY DOG (Walt Disney)
Starring Tim Allen, Kristin Davis, Robert Downey, Jr., Danny Glover, Spencer Breslin, Zena Grey, Philip Baker Hall
Directed by Brian Robbins (Varsity Blues, The Perfect Score, Hardball); Written by the Wibberleys, Michael Begler, Jack Amiel, Geoff Rodkey
Genre: Comedy, Family, Remake
Rated PG
Tagline: “Raise the Woof.” (I am speechless.)
Story: Assistant D.A. David Douglas (Allen) finds himself barking up the wrong tree (ha ha), after he’s bitten by a dog being experimented on in a laboratory and suddenly finds himself acting and the turning into a dog himself.
Mini-Review: If you can tolerate watching Tim Allen make a fool of himself pretending to be a dog for more than a few minutes, then you’re a better person than me, but this horrendous remake of a Disney classic is so horrendously dumb that few of those involved get off unscathed. All of the bad cliches for this one are present and accounted for, except for one important one: Laughs. This is a movie only for the youngest kids and the parents stupid enough to take them to see it. Rating: 2/10

In 1959, Fred MacMurray wasn’t yet known for his TV sitcom “My Three Sons”, but he was working on a reputation as a serious actor in Westerns and other movies when he took on the lead role in what would become the first of a long run of live action comedies from Walt Disney Pictures. Over 45 years later and Disney has been remaking a lot of their live action classics, many of them starring Lindsay Lohan. This time, they’re working with another team player, Tim Allen, a comedian who has brought a lot of money to the company in the last twelve years (see Star Spotlight below), and who may actually be credible as a man who turns into a dog. Allen’s supporting cast is as impressive as this weekend’s other comedy, Failure to Launch, with Sarah Jessica Parker’s former “Sex and the City” co-star Kristin Davis playing Allen’s wife, Danny Glover playing his boss and Robert Downey Jr. playing the film’s antagonist, who of course is trying to get that darn dog! Director/producer Brian Robbins has made a lot of movies, mostly set in the worlds of sports or scholastics, but The Shaggy Dog doesn’t seem like that much of a departure from stuff he’s done before. So who is going to want to see this movie? Obviously, kids will be tickled pink watching Tim Allen, the “Santa Clause” guy, acting like a dog, because kids love dogs, as seen by the success of Eight Below and the sad fact is that parents will bring them to see this because it’s Allen, it’s Disney and because it’s a remake of a movie they themselves may remember as kids. It’s doubtful that it can do as well as the Santa Clause movies, since it’s opening in March and there are still plenty of other choices, but Disney has been marketing the hell out of the movie, even showing a rather strange play-by-play commercial during the Super Bowl. Expect this to be the latest #1 in the Year of the Dumb, although it should only do well over the next two weeks before losing most of its audience to Ice Age: The Meltdown.

Why I Should See It: I’ll take the 5^th on this one. My review says it all.
Why Not: See The Battle Cry for plenty of reasons.
Projection: $20 to 22 million on its way to $60 million total.

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STAR SPOTLIGHT: Tim Allen

While there are plenty of other worthy stars with new movies, this week, we’ll focus the spotlight on former stand-up comedian Tim Allen, who became famous thanks to his hugely popular ‘90s sitcom “Home Improvement” before moving onto an erratic movie career made up of enormous hits, but just as many unadulterated flops.

Of course, it doesn’t hurt when your first two movies are holiday hits that make over $140 million, and Tim Allen’s portrayal of Santa Claus in The Santa Clause and his vocal pairing with Tom Hanks in Pixar’s first feature film, Toy Story, helped make him an even bigger star than he already was from television. Over the next few years, Allen did a few films during downtime from the show, including the disappointing Jungle 2 Jungle, the animated sequel Toy Story 2, and the sci-fi spoof Galaxy Quest, the latter two dominating the holiday season in 1999.

Oddly, it was only when “Home Improvement” came to an end that Allen’s popularity started to wane with back-to-back flops in the 2001 holiday comedy Joe Somebody and the dark comedy Big Trouble, which was moved to 2002 at the last minute due to sensitivity for the events of 9/11. Later that same year, Allen returned to his first major movie role and had another huge holiday hit with The Santa Clause 2, and two years later, he tried to recreate that magic teaming with Jamie Lee Curtis for Christmas With the Kranks. While it did well over the Thanksgiving weekend, it wasn’t able to hold up over the rest of the holidays. Despite his past as a convicted felon, Tim Allen and Disney have done very well by each other, both with the Santa Clause and Toy Story franchises, and having him star in a remake of The Shaggy Dog seems like a given to get families into theatres, even if the resulting film might not perform nearly as well as they might hope.

Title	Release Date	Theater Count	Previous Box Office (in millions)	Weekend Box Office (in millions)	Average	Total Box Office
Christmas with the Kranks	11/26/04	3,393	$9.25	$21.57	$6,357	$73.70
The Santa Clause 2	11/1/02	3,350		$29.01	$8,659	$139.14
Big Trouble	4/5/02	1,961		$3.55	$1,808	$7.26
Joe Somebody	12/21/01	2,506		$3.55	$1,418	$22.74
Galaxy Quest	12/25/99	2,412		$7.01	$2,906	$70.26
Toy Story 2	11/24/99	3,236	$0.38	$57.39	$17,735	$245.82
Jungle 2 Jungle	3/7/97	2,316		$12.81	$5,531	$59.93
Toy Story	11/24/95	2,457		$29.14	$11,860	$191.78
The Santa Clause	11/11/94	2,183		$19.32	$8,850	$144.83

Copyright 2006 Edward Douglas

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