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THE BATTLE CRY!
(If you have anything to say about this or anything else written in the column, feedback and Email is always welcome, and almost always responded to.)

I was thinking about writing a biting commentary about another topic, but considering this past weekend’s box office, it’s almost impossible to not address the state of sequels at the box office right now, considering how badly I underestimated Ice Age: The Meltdown and overestimated Basic Instinct 2 last weekend.

At one point this weekend, Ice Age: The Meltdown was looking like it could be the second highest opening animated film—it’s actually the fourth—but it is the second highest opening movie for the normally slow first quarter of the year, and it will surely make more than the first movie, warranting a third film in the series. At the same time, the original 1992 thriller Basic Instinct was a $100 million hit that made even more on video, DVD and cable, and yet by the time it finally its sequel got made--and let’s face it, 14 years is even less than the time between Return of the Jedi and The Phantom Menace--its audience had moved on, and the important 18 to 25 demographic were too young to have ever seen the original. That sequel barely made $3 million this past weekend, which means that even with DVD, it will probably never make back its production costs.

So what’s going on here? It’s not a new concept that sequels, for the most part, are done merely to capitalize on the success of a hit, but it’s amazing how readily some studios are ready to jump into making a sequel, and then how long some of those sequels take to get made, making them almost not worth it once they finally come out. At a certain point, should MGM and Intermedia have gone with their original instinct and made Basic Instinct 2 with a younger actress instead of Stone? The number of unsuccessful sequels and prequels that have been made based on Jim Carrey’s bigger comedy hits, without Carrey, would prove otherwise.

It may sound a bit like biting the hand that feeds me considering where I’m writing this week’s column from--if you look elsewhere on the site, you’ll figure it out--but of all the studios making sequels, Sony just isn’t proving to be very good at them. The Spider-Man franchise aside, they’ve been releasing more sequel flops than any other studio, last year being almost tragic in that sense. First, they had XXX: State of the Union, a sequel to a movie that wasn’t too popular without the original star or director, followed by Rob Schneider’s Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo and The Legend of Zorro, which both got back their original stars, but took too long after the original movies to get out. The Pink Panther, while not a huge financial hit compared to how much it cost to make, was the highest grossing movie to come out in ’06 before Ice Age: The Meltdown, but considering the time and money and drastic changes put into the film to turn it into a hit, their just might be too much bad blood and karma behind the production to ever get a sequel made, let alone getting one out there in the next five years. Then again, Sony does seem to be taking the bull by the horns with their upcoming sequel to the hit horror film The Grudge. Besides bringing the original director back, it will be released within two years of the original, following a similar path to success as Lionsgate’s Saw franchise and the Harry Potter films.

For the most part, it seems like a studio has to be ready to commit to turning films into franchises before the first movie even comes out, which is a pretty big gamble, although having the stars and filmmakers signed on for sequels certainly makes things easier. It also seems like given the success of Shrek 2 and now Ice Age: The Meltdown, the producers of animated films should be ready to do sequels almost immediately, which makes one wonder why Pixar hasn’t bothered making another Incredibles movie.

Still, it doesn’t seem like studios really have a handle on what works as a sequel and what doesn’t, what people want and what they don’t, and how much money to spend on a sequel after having a successful hit. It’s all about trying to make "smart sequels," something that has become a rarity, rather than the norm, and maybe studios need to poll everyone who sees a movie to ask if they would want to see a sequel, then ask them the same question a few months later and then a year after that. It may be surprising how those answers might vary from one poll to the next, and if the original movie isn’t able to stand the test time, it doesn’t matter if a sequel comes out in a year, two years or ten, because no one will want to see it.

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THE CHOSEN ONE:

FRIENDS WITH MONEY (Sony Pictures Classics)
Starring Jennifer Aniston, K.C. Clyde, Bobby Coleman, Joan Cusack, Catherine Keener, Frances McDormand, Jason Isaacs, Scott Caan, Greg Germann, Simon McBurney
Written and directed by Nicole Holofcener
Rated R (for language, some sexual content and brief drug use)
Tagline: Four life-long friends living in California (Aniston, Keener, McDormand, and Cusack) deal with their relationships with their spouses and each other, but only one of them, Olivia (Aniston), isn’t married and doesn’t have the wealth of her friends, so she always feels awkward whenever they get together.
REVIEW (Coming Soon!)

I still remember when I saw the trailer for Lovely and Amazing, and my female friend leaned over whispered and said, "I want to see that!" I was convinced that she was joking because it looked like a movie I would never EVER see. Years later, I found myself watching the third movie from filmmaker Nicole Holofcener, and enjoying it greatly, maybe because it has one of the best casts of the year. (Next week’s The Sisters might give it a run for that honor, though.) While I’m not a huge fan of Aniston, she’s back in "The Good Girl" mode, not playing sweet or likeable, but you can definitely empathize with her and her situation, having to work as a maid to make ends meet. The cast includes two of last year’s supporting actress Oscar nominees, Catherine Keener and Frances McDormand. They’re both great, but I’m convinced that Keener gives a better performance as one half of a squabbling screenwriting couple then any of the movies she did last year, and that’s saying something! Essentially, it’s a talking heads movie about relationships and the differences between living in wealth and poverty and it’s the type of dark comedy that will be appreciated more the older you are. Since the movie is written and directed by a woman, the female side of the relationships tend to get treated better, while the men are basically humiliated and emasculated at every turn, the one exception being Simon McBurney as McDormand’s effeminate husband, who everyone thinks is gay. He clearly has some of the film’s funniest moments.

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NEW THIS WEEK:

THE BENCHWARMERS (Sony Pictures)
Starring David Spade, Rob Schneider, Jon Heder, Jon Lovitz, Craig Kilborn, Molly Sims, Tim Meadows
Genre: Comedy, Sports
Directed by Dennis Dugan (National Security, Saving Silverman, Big Daddy, Happy Gilmore); Written by Allan Covert (Grandma’s Boy, Eight Crazy Nights), Nick Swardson (Grandma’s Boy, Malibu’s Most Wanted)
Genre: Comedy
Rated PG-13 (crude and suggestive humor, and for language)
Tagline: "3 older dudes should be able to beat 9 young jocks… right?" (No need to answer. It’s rhetorical.)
Story: Three losers (Spade, Schneider and Jon Heder, who’s not quite as big a loser) who can’t seem to do anything right, decide to form a three-man baseball team in order to take on other Little League teams.

What do you get when you take every single has-been who has ever been associated with Adam Sandler and throw them into a sports comedy produced by Sandler’s Happy Gilmore Productions? Probably something like The Benchwarmers, a sports comedy that teams former SNL stars David Spade and Rob Schneider with the star of the 2004 hit comedy Napoleon Dynamite, Jon Heder. (Boy, that’s one guy whose 15 minutes were wasted, huh?)

For those unfamiliar with the comic stylings of Rob Schneider, consider yourself lucky, although there was a time when it seemed like Schneider, Sandler’s long-time sidekick, would see the box office acclaim of his pal. The success of the first Deuce Bigalow movie and the subsequent The Animal was promising, but his next few comedies, The Hot Chick and the Deuce Bigalow sequel failed to find audiences. Essentially, Rob Schneider’s biggest movies have been the ones where he co-stars with Adam Sandler.

David Spade’s popularity has mainly been relegated to television, where his sarcastic humor and biting wit have been the highlights of SNL and on the sitcom "Just Shoot Me." Most recently, he anchored Comedy Central’s "Showbiz Show" with the same sarcasm he used during SNL’s Weekend Updates, but he’s yet to find much success in the movies, at least when he actually appears in them. Spade has provided his voice for a number of animated characters in various hits, but his own movies, like Joe Dirt and The Emperor’s Groove, haven’t made more than $30 million in theatres.

There’s also Brigham Young alum Jon Heder, who makes his third movie appearance in The Benchwarmers after his debut in Napoleon Dynamite an a comic role in the Reese Witherspoon romantic comedy Just Like Heaven. When you put all three of them together, you end up with a movie that looks a bit like Dumb & Dumber (and Dumbest) set on the baseball diamond with a bit of Dodgeball root-for-the-underdog thrown into the mix. Except that Benchwarmers doesn’t have the great gimmic or the box office stars like Ben Affleck and Vince Vaughn. Instead, it has other former SNL cast members like Jon Lovitz and Tim Meadows. Director Dennis Dugan had the illustrious job of helping turn Adam Sandler into a box office star by helming his early hit Big Daddy after directing the popular Happy Gilmore. Since those days, he’s been involved in lesser comedies like Saving Silverman and Martin Lawrence’s National Security, and the fact that this was written by the masterminds behind the early ’06 bomb Grandma’s Boy is not a good sign.

Sports comedies, particularly baseball ones, have been all over the place, although this looks more like Major League than A League of Her Own, and the last baseball comedy, Paramount’s remake of The Bad News Bears, didn’t do very well despite an ultra-wide release. Earlier last year, the Farrelly Brothers’ romantic comedy Fever Pitch, starring Drew Barrymore and another SNL alum Jimmy Fallon, only made $12 million opening weekend despite a similar ultra-wide release, and this is not likely to have that much more of an interest to older male baseball fans than that one.

This being the Year of the Stupid, and with few things looking stupider than The Benchwarmers, this movie might end up having the perfect formula to capture the interest of teen moviegoers, who won’t have many choices with so many R-rated movies in theatres. It probably won’t hold much interest to anyone over 25, which unfortunately, are the ones who will be familiar with Schneider and Spade.

Why I Should See It: It’s been a long time since The Three Amigos.
Why Not: If you don’t find David Spade or Rob Schneider or Napoleon Dynamite funny, you will be in serious pain… which may be why Sony has decided to spare critics from sitting through this.
Projection: $15 to 17 million opening weekend on its way to around $45 million.

LUCKY NUMBER SLEVIN (MGM/The Weinstein Company)
Starring Josh Hartnett, Bruce Willis, Lucy Liu, Morgan Freeman, Sir Ben Kingsley, Stanley Tucci
Directed by Paul McGuigan (Gangster No. 1, Wicker Park, The Acid House, The Reckoning); Written by Jason Smilovic ("Karen Sisco")
Genre: Crime, Drama
Rated R
Tagline: "Wrong Time. Wrong Place. Wrong Number."
Story: A care of mistaken identity gets the hapless Slevin (Josh Hartnett) into the middle of a war between two New York crime bosses (Ben Kingsley, Morgan Freeman), who both want to use Slevin to get even with the other for a series of killings. But Slevin also has to deal with a hired assassin (Bruce Willis) and a relentless detective (Stanley Tucci) who both want to know what he’s up to.
Mini-Review: A sharply written crime film that gives you the chance to watch Paul McGuigan make the transition from a good director to a great director. oOf course, having such a strong cast certainly doesn't hurt, and it's particularly entertaining to watch Hartnett and Liu pull off their unlikely romance. Be careful, though, because it you watch this thinking you've seen it all before or know where it's going, you're likely to be surprised by enough suitable twists to make the whole film very clever and entertaining. Rating: 8.5/10

The crime drama certainly has seen better days, considering the number of years since the movies by Quentin Tarantino and Guy Ritchie were getting critical attention. Shane Black’s attempt to revive and modernize the crime noir genre last year with Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang proved unsuccessful, but now, Jason Smilovic, writer of "Karen Sisco," a television show based on the bounty hunter played by Jennifer Lopez in Steven Soderbergh’s Out of Time, is trying his hand at it, and one has to wonder whether America is more open to an intelligent crime thriller anymore than they were last fall. For director Paul McGuigan, it gives him a chance to take the template he created in his early British crime film Gangster No. 1 and bringing it to a larger audience.

At least for Lucky Number Slevin, he has the benefits of a strong cast from top to bottom, despite many of them having had their share of flops. The title character Slevin is played by Hollywood heartthrob, Josh Hartnett, appearing in his second crime noir film in a row after his brief part in last year’s Sin City. Before that, Hartnett teamed with Slevin director Paul McGuigan for the poorly received 2004 drama Wicker Park, a remake of the French film, L’Appartement, and with Harrison Ford in the buddy comedy Hollywood Homicide. There was a time when Hartnett was being groomed to be a huge star after starring with Ben Affleck in Michael Bay’s Pearl Harbor and in Ridley Scott’s Black Hawk Down, but he seems to be trying a few less mainstream ideas.

In this movie, he’s romantically paired with Asian-American sensation Lucy Liu, who you can read more about in the Star Spotlight below, and he gets some added support from an actor who has been in his fair share of successful crime dramas, Bruce Willis. Besides starring in another segment of Sin City, Willis played a similar supporting part in Tarantino’s Pulp Fiction, although his most recent movie, the action-thriller 16 Blocks, directed by Richard Donnner, did underwhelming business showing that Willis’ name might not be such a big draw.

On the other hand, it’s been almost a year since Morgan Freeman appeared in the French action-thriller Unleashed and provided the narration for the documentary hit March of the Penguins, and his role as a mob boss won’t be too much of a departure from paying G-d in Jim Carrey’s Bruce Almighty. Despite being almost as respected an actor as Freeman, Sir Ben Kingsley is coming off the longest stream of flops ever following last year’s Oliver Twist, in which he played Fagin and the long-delayed A Sound of Thunder both did pitiful business, though were huge hits when compared to the first major bomb of 2006, Uwe Boll’s BloodRayne.

This is the first film to be co-distributed by the Weinstein Company with the new indie version MGM, but it’s only being released into around 1,700 theatres, which will make it hard for it to get much attention. The whole campaign for the movie is a mess, from the weak title to the terrible poster, and it’s really going to end up being a harder sell than necessary.

A lot of the cast has been doing the talk show rounds to promote the film, which makes it obvious that they feel strong about the film and want to dedicate the time into promoting it. This probably won’t be enough to get finicky moviegoers to shell out their shekels to a movie that is likely to fare better once it gets to DVD and cable.

Why I Should See It: This is a sharp well-written crime drama with a great cast, all perfectly suited for their roles
Why Not: What the f*ck kind of name is "Slevin"?
Projection: $6 to 8 million opening weekend on its way to just under $20 million.

PHAT GIRLZ (Fox Searchlight)
Starring Mo'Nique, Jimmy Jean-Louis, Godfrey, Joyful Drake, Eric Roberts, Jack Noseworthy, Kendra C. Johnson
Written and directed by Nnegest Likké (Debut)
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Rated PG-13 (for sexual content and language, including some crude sexual references)
Tagline: "Her dreams are about to get a whole lot bigger."
Story: Jazmin Biltmore (Mo’Nique) is a plus-sized fashion designer who is obsessed with her weight while trying to find acceptance in a business dominated by hot young babes with great physiques. Will she and her equally large best friend ever find the man of their dreams?

Is it just me or does this movie look like a movie version of the "Reality Check" sketch from MAD TV, which was fake talk show featuring two large black women busting on all of their guests? At least it’s a starring vehicle for Mo’Nique Imes Jackson, the long time host of "Showtime at the Apollo" who made the jump to movies with urban flops like Soul Plane and Hair Show. Still, she might have enough of an African-American female audience who appreciate her for her outspoken wit and her realistic physique that they might give this a chance, even if others might think of the movie as one big fat joke. This is the second release this year by a first-time African-American female director, but like Something New, it’s not really getting a very big push by the studio, at least compared to similar urban chick flicks, such as Queen Latifah’s Last Holiday. Phat Girlz is also likely to lose a lot of that business to Take the Lead, which is essentially targeting the same urban female market, particularly teens. While one might think that larger size women might appreciate Mo’Nique’s sense of humor about her size, they might be just as apt to want to see pretty young thin things shaking their stuff in a movie about dancing.

Why I Should See It: (Resisting the temptation to make the obvious "Mo’Nique is tons of fun" joke.)
Why Not: Who knows much about this movie except for the fact that Mo’Nique’s in it?
Projection: $3 to 5 million opening weekend on its way to less than $8 million.

TAKE THE LEAD (New LIne)
Starring Antonio Banderas, Rob Brown, Yaya DaCosta, Alfre Woodard, John Ortiz, Laura Benanti, Jonathan Malen, Jaskia Nicole, Jenna Dewan, Marcus T. Paulk, Dante Basco, Brandon D. Andrews, Lauren Collins, Elijah Kelley
Directed by Liz Friedlander (debut); Written by Dianne Houston ("NYPD Blue", "Crossing Jordan", "City of Angels")
Genre: Music, Drama, Comedy, Romance
Rated PG-13 (for thematic material, language and some violence)
Tagline: "Never follow."
Story: Dance instructor Pierre Dulaine (Antonio Banderas) convinces the principal of an inner city high school to let him teach ballroom dancing to the students serving detention, in hopes that they’ll learn discipline and have an escape from their tough lives.
REVIEW (by Layla Voll)
Mini-Review: Somewhat contrived and predictable, this dance-driven drama is well-written and entertaining from beginning to end with particularly strong performances from Banderas, Rob Brown and newcomer Yaya DaCosta. The amazing dance sequences, particularly Jenna Dewan’s jaw-dropping tango number, makes the movie worthwhile and fun viewing from beginning to end. Rating: 8/10

Anyone who saw the hit documentary Mad Hot Ballroom last year probably was impressed while watching inner city kids perfecting their dancing skills on the way to a citywide competition. For most people, it was their first introduction to Pierre Dulaine, a competitive dance instructor, who decided to try to help out troubled kids in poor urban areas, by teaching them the disciplines of ballroom dancing. Now, Dulaine’s story has been the influence for this new film, starring actor Antonio Banderas as the dance instructor, and it certainly seems like a match made in box office heaven. After all, women love the sexy Latin actor almost as much as they seem to love ballroom dancing, and the role doesn’t seem too far-fetched for the Spanish superstar. (You can read more about Banderas’ box office history in the Star Spotlight below.) The film also stars Alfre Woodard as the school principal and the talented Rob Brown (Coach Carter, Finding Forrester) as one of the troubled students.

This is the second weekend in a row with a feature film debut by a popular music video director --last week’s ATL was directed by Chris Robinson—but Liz Friedlander certainly seems to have stronger material to work with for her debut. Surprisingly, there are a lot of kids getting into ballroom dancing, either from being in programs started by Dulaine or just because of the ballroom dancing craze that has helped turn the reality show "Dancing with the Stars" into one of the most watched shows on television. Either way, it’s nice to see a musical romance written and directed by women, and Take the Lead should have enough appeal across a number of demographics to do healthy business. It had a couple poorly advertised but well attended sneak previews last weekend, and word-of-mouth should be strong enough that it will find more of an audience this weekend where it’s not going to be a second choice to Ice Age: The Meltdown.

Why I Should See It: The ballroom dancing craze is bigger than ever, and this movie is based on the story of one of the men responsible for that.
Why Not: Antonia Banderas may be way too sexy for this role…and that’s without even taking off his shirt!
Projection: $15 to 17 million opening weekend on its way to $50 million total.

ON A CLEAR DAY (Focus Features)
Starring Peter Mullan, Brenda Blethyn, Jamie Sives, Billy Boyd, Sean McGinley, Ron Cook
Directed by Gaby Dellal (Football, Toy Boys); Written by Alex Rose
Genre: Drama
Rated PG-13 (for some language)
Tagline: "Anything is possible."
Story: After being laid-off from the shipyard where he worked his entire life, 55-year-old Frank Redmon (Peter Mullan) doesn’t know what to do with his life. With the help of his group of outcast friends, he sets off on a quest to swim across the English Channel to France, although he would prefer to use that time to be able to connect with his estranged son (Jamie Sives) and his family.
Mini-Review: Mullan and Blethyn are both at the top of their game, in what could have been a perfectly lovely film if it hadn't tried too hard to be funny and overly melodramatic. What ultimately kills it is a ludicrous ending that kills off any suspension of disbelief that sustains the majority of the film. Rating: 7/10

Based on Alex Rose’s first screenplay, Gaby Dellal’s film is the type of British dramedy like Waking Ned and The Full Monty, which has always gone over so well in the States. This one focuses on a middle-age man trying to relate to his family while finding himself after being laid-off from the only job he knew how to do. The main point of interest is the swimming angle but it has lots of humor, much of it coming from The Lord of the Rings star Billy Boyd, and a good deal of family drama. In general, it’ll appeal mainly to older audiences.

Why I Should See It: Mullan may be one of the most underrated dramatic actors working today, and this light drama has plenty of fun and entertaining moments.
Why Not: Does anyone really need to see Peter Mullan without a shirt? Not as sexy as Antonio Banderas.

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STAR SPOTLIGHT: Antonio Banderas Vs. Lucy Liu

They both have had successful franchises, and they appeared together in what must be two of the worst movies of all time, the boxing comedy Play It to the Bone and the action-thriller Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever. This alone is good enough reason to shine the Star Spotlight on Antonio Banderas and Lucy Liu this week.

Banderas first made a name for himself as the lead actor in a number of the early films from Spanish director Pedro Almodovar, such as Matador and Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down!, but it didn’t take long for him to catch Hollywood’s hungry gaze, as he was cast in a number of films, before getting his big break by starring in Desperado, Robert Rodriguez’s English remake of his indie, El Mariachi. That action-packed role was significant enough to get Banderas cast as the next actor to don the The Mask of Zorro.

Banderas would reteam with Rodriguez many times over the next ten years, for the director’s segment in Four Rooms, which inspired his series of Spy Kids family films, and then lastly, when they made the conclusion to the "Mariachi" trio, Once Upon a Time in Mexico.

Title	Release Date	Theater Count	Previous Box Office (in millions)	Weekend Box Office (in millions)	Average	Total Box Office
The Legend of Zorro	10/28/05	3,520		$16.33	$4,639	$45.36
Once Upon a Time in Mexico	9/12/03	3,282		$23.42	$7,137	$55.85
Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over	7/25/03	3,344		$33.42	$9,993	$111.76
Femme Fatale	11/8/02	1,066	$0.65	$2.78	$2,604	$6.59
Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams	8/9/02	3,307	$8.30	$16.71	$5,053	$84.94
Original Sin	8/3/01	2,194		$6.40	$2,918	$16.43
Spy Kids	3/30/01	3,104		$26.55	$8,552	$106.26
The Mask of Zorro	7/17/98	2,515		$22.53	$8,958	$93.83
Desperado	8/25/95	2,027		$7.91	$3,902	$25.53

Lucy Alexis Liu first became known from her popular role as the feisty "dragon lady" Ling Wu on the FOX drama "Ally McBeal" and after small roles in movies like Payback and Shanghai Noon, Liu’s popularity grew in 2000, when she teamed with Drew Barrymore and Cameron Diaz to revamp the popular '70s show Charlie’s Angel, a movie that spawned a slightly less successful sequel 2-and-a-half years later. Since then, she played a villain in the first part of Quentin Tarantino’s Kill Bill, and took on Keira Knightley’s Domino in her action flop last year. Lucky Number Slevin is more along the lines of the fun comedic roles she played in the boxing movie Play It to the Bone, than the lethal lady she played in the action thriller Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever, both with Banderas, both huge bombs.

Title	Release Date	Theater Count	Weekend Box Office (in millions)	Average	Total Box Office
Domino	10/14/05	2,223	$4.67	$2,101	$10.14
Kill Bill Vol. 1	10/10/03	3,102	$22.09	$7,121	$69.82
Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle	6/27/03	3,459	$37.63	$10,880	$100.69
Charlie's Angels	11/3/00	3,037	$40.13	$13,214	$125.31
Payback	2/5/99	2,720	$21.22	$7,801	$81.52
Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever	9/20/02	2,705	$7.01	$2,592	$14.29
Play it to the Bone	1/21/00	1,556	$3.43	$2,204	$8.43

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THIS WEEK’S "GUEST-PERT":

Of course, with the release of Benchwarmers and Take the Lead, I had a choice between trying to find an older guy who plays Little League or someone who teaches ballroom dancing. The latter was far easier, as I was lucky enough to find Bob Gibb, a contributing editor to "Canadian MoneySaver Magazine," who also happens to be a ballroom enthusiast and part-time instructor, along with his wife.

Bob is a former schoolteacher who was tricked into learning ballroom dancing by his wife. "I've noticed that over the years the vast majority of men attending group dance classes are dragged there by their wives/girlfriends," he told me. "Half of these couples do not take the next class; however, the men that remain became fanatics. They get hooked into learning the next step. They’re worse than golfers. Our Ballroom Dance Society has a board of 11 of which 9 are men, and all our committees are run by men."

Bob told me a bit more about his background. "As [my wife and I] were teachers, the local dance teachers urged us to take certification, and we were lucky enough to get connected with Mr. Pat Bovaird, Montreal, who is a Fellow of the Imperial Society of Teachers of Dance who has been taking us through teacher certification. For the last several years my wife, with my assistance has been teaching beginner level ballroom dance classes and private lessons."

Despite his background, he hadn’t heard of Pierre Dulaine, the real person on which Antonio Banderas’ character is based, and he only heard of the movie by accident. "I was walking through a local mall 4 or 5 days ago on my way to coffee, and I picked up a "Tribute," an industry movie magazine, to read and came across a promo article."

Did he think that Banderas could pull off this kind of role? "In the absence of Cary Grant, yes," Bob admitted. "Based on the male teachers on "Dancing With the Stars" I think he's a fair match. Certainly he's a much better choice than Kris Kristofferson as the teacher in Dance With Me with Vanessa Williams & Chayanne. Antonio would seem best suited as a Latin Specialist teacher, but there’s a lot of "Ron Montez" to Antonio, and he also has the natural comic about him, necessary to be a good teacher."

I also wondered what Bob thought that ballroom fans might think of the way that hip hop music and moves are incorporated into it in the movie. "The purists will always be disappointed and at the same time fail to realize that, despite these excesses, it gets people in the door. Before the recent movies and TV shows, my wife got one phone call a month for a new private student. Now, she sometimes gets five a week. It's hard to please everyone in these situations. If you try to please the purists, nobody will go."

Since he was a teacher, I wondered what Bob thought about Dulaine’s techniques of using ballroom dancing to teach discipline to teens. "You don't teach discipline/manners," he told me. "The best the teacher can do is model discipline/manners. If the teacher come across as sincere and committed to their cause and can do it with humour then the students will choose to adopt discipline/manners. I wouldn't want to teach anyone to be regimented, but ballroom dancing is a positive activity. It's also goal oriented with levels. You can live in the muck or you can try to get somewhere in a positive way. What's wrong with respecting yourself and others?"

"I know we will go as a group when it arrives here April 7," he wrapped up, when asked about his plans to see the movie. "We went as a group to Mad Hot Ballroom, Shall We Dance and Bride and Prejudice, and I can already tell you which of my friends will hate it and which will love it."

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ALSO IN LIMITED RELEASE:

95 MILES TO GO (THINKFilm) is a road documentary by Tom Caltabiano, writer of the CBS sitcom "Everybody Loves Raymond," documenting a comedy tour and road trip through the South East he took with actor/comedian and friend Ray Romano during spring break from the show. (Mini-Review: Unless you really love Raymond, it’s going to be tough to endure this dull road movie and his obnoxious behavior when not on stage in front of audience. In general, Romano’s stand-up act is the best thing going for the movie, because the rest of the movie is quite dull and not particularly funny. Rating: 6/10)

Right before making V For Vendetta, actress Natalie Portman starred in Amos Gitai’s FREE ZONE (New Yorker Films), about an American woman living in Jerusalem who gets caught up in a desperate journey through the tax-free zone which connects Jordan, Syrian and Iraq along with an Israeli taxi driver and a Palestinian woman. (Mini-Review: After an amazing and dramatic ten minute close-up on a crying Portman, the film mixes Arabic, Jewish and English to turn into a tedious journey through Jordan that tries too hard to mix humor into the drama. All three of the main actresses are good, but it’s not very well written with parts almost seeming improvised, and the camerawork is distracting when it tries to be arty. Rating: 5/10)

WHEN DO WE EAT? (THINKFilm) stars Michael Lerner and Lesley Ann Warren ("Desperate Housewives") as the parents of a dysfunctional extended family who come together for a disastrous Passover Seder in this new independent ensemble comedy from Salvador Litvak and Nina Davidovich. (Mini-Review: Michael Lerner is probably the only tolerable part of this ridiculously bad and unfunny comedy that wastes what might have been a funny premise and a decent cast with dumb slapstick schtick and obvious humor. Even Jack Klugman, who has been sorely missed, sounds like he’s losing what’s left of his voice, and it’s doubtful that too many Jews will find any real humor in this dull comedy. Rating: 3/10)

GUYS AND BALLS (Here! Films/Regent Releasing) is a romantic comedy from Germany about a gay soccer player, thrown off of the team, who decides to form an all-gay squad to take on his old team in a grudge match. Eddy Tarstell’s SIMON (Strand Releasing) follows the relationship between a gay dental student and a streetwise free spirit.

Nick Jarecki, presumably no relation to Eugene (Why We Fight) or Andrew (Capturing the Friedmans), explores the appeal of filmmaker James Toback in his documentary THE OUTSIDER (Green Room Films) through on-set footage and interviews with the likes of Robert Downey Jr. and Woody Allen. It opens in San Francisco on Friday, as does David Zeiger’s documentary SIR! NO SIR! (Balcony Releasing). Just in time to address our current war situation, it examines the rarely discussed antiwar movement within the military during the Vietnam War, including TV broadcasts, archival footage and new interviews with the likes of activist Jane Fonda. Its San Fran opening will be followed by New York on 4/18 and L.A. on 5/5.

Ilya Khrzhanovdky’s 4 (Leisure Time Features) is a disturbing thriller about three people caught up in a world of wild dogs, decaying meat and illegal cloning. Fun stuff! (Mini-Review Coming Soon!)

Dharan Mandrayar’s WHITE RAINBOW (Rocky Mountain Pictures) is the tale of four young widows, who band together in Vrindavan, the "city of widows," to fight against the many struggles faced by widows in the male-driven Indian society. Opens at San Jose’s Camera 12 Cinema.

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THIS WEEKEND IN BOX OFFICE HISTORY:

Well, we’re still a bit screwed up now because of the floating Easter weekend, but we’ll do the best we can. (Whose idea was it to do this again?)

In theory, Sin City and The Matrix would count as this weekend, because they both kicked off the month of April, but the strange way that the month started this year screws everything up further. That aside, there’s very little that any of the movies released during this timeframe have in common with the past April openers, except for maybe The Benchwarmers and last year’s baseball rom-com Fever Pitch, starring Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore, although the latter never figured out if it was targeting men or women, while Benchwarmers is trying to target both.

Other than the two movies mentioned above, there haven’t been many big non-genre April openers. Last year, Clive Cussler’s Sahara, starring Matthew McConaughey as Dirk Pitt, topped the charts last year with $18 million, and you’d have to go back four more years to find another movie to open over $16 million. Two thrillers, Phone Booth and Rules of Engagement, each topped the box office with just over $15 million, although the latter had a significantly wider release. What’s interesting is that the three ultra-wide releases to open in over 3,100 theatres ranged in their opening weekends from $12.4 million to $18 million, which goes to show that more theatres doesn’t always mean more money.

Title	Release Date	Theater Count	Previous Box Office (in millions)	Weekend Box Office (in millions)	Average	Total Box Office
Sahara	4/8/05	3,154		$18.07	$5,729	$68.05
Along Came a Spider	4/6/01	2,530		$16.71	$6,606	$74.06
The Saint	4/4/97	2,853		$16.28	$5,706	$61.34
Phone Booth	4/4/03	2,481		$15.02	$6,054	$46.56
Rules of Engagement	4/7/00	3,155		$15.01	$4,758	$61.32
High Crimes	4/5/02	2,717		$14.01	$5,155	$41.54
Blow	4/6/01	2,249		$12.44	$5,535	$52.94
Fever Pitch	4/8/05	3,267		$12.40	$3,796	$41.82
What a Girl Wants	4/4/03	2,964		$11.43	$3,858	$35.99
A Man Apart	4/4/03	2,459		$11.02	$4,481	$26.50
Primal Fear	4/5/96	1,983	$2.02	$9.87	$4,977	$56.07

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LET’S LOOK AT THE NUMBERS: (final update 4.6.06)

Another weekend, four more movies, although most of this weekend’s releases are even more low-key than some of the movies that came out last week.

The movie with the widest release is Sony’s The Benchwarmers, produced by Adam Sandler’s Happy Madison Productions. Teaming Rob Schneider with fellow SNL vet David Spade and Jon "Don’t Call Me Napoleon!" Heder, the film will try to cater to baseball fans awaiting the start of the season. The fact that this is the Year of the Stupid, and dumb movies have been doing very well, certainly won’t hurt it, though it’ll have a hard time getting past the second weekend of the record-breaking Ice Age: The Meltdown, which should continue to bring in business.

It might come as a bigger surprise if it just misses out on second place thanks to a weekend bump for musical drama Take the Lead, starring Antonio Banderas. Influenced by the true story of dance instructor Pierre Dulaine, who taught high school students discipline via ballroom dance, the New Line film will appeal to a wider range of ages and demographics beyond the normal female fans of Banderas and ballroom dancing.

Opening in a thousand fewer theatres than the other two movies, the first co-release by MGM and the Weinstein Company, the crime drama Lucky Number Slevin with Bruce Willis, Josh Hartnett, Lucy Liu, and Morgan Freeman, only has its illustrious cast as a selling point, though it might have trouble getting past its obscure title and premise. Comedienne Mo’Nique stars in the comedy Phat Girlz, which either will appeal to plus-size African-American women or offend them greatly. With a moderate release and very little draw outside that market, it’ll end up in the bottom half of the Top 10 with the potential to bomb. Also, Miramax’s comedy Kinky Boots gets sneak previews in a number of areas this weekend.

TW	LW	Title	Weekend (in millions)	Change	# Of Theaters	Average	Week
1	1	Ice Age: The Meltdown	$41.7	-39%	3,969	$10,425	2
2	New	The Benchwarmers	$16.6	N/A	3,274	$5,070	1
3	New	Take the Lead	$15.8	N/A	3,009	$5,251	1
4	2	Inside Man	$8.6	-44%	2,868	$2,999	3
5	New	Lucky Number Slevin	$6.5	N/A	1,806	$3,599	1
6	3	ATL	$6.2	-47%	1,602	$3,870	2
7	4	Failure to Launch	$3.9	-39%	2,616	$1,491	5
8	New	Phat Girlz	$3.6	N/A	1,056	$3,409	1
9	5	V For Vendetta	$3.2	-51%	2,003	$1,548	4
10	7	She's the Man	$2.6	-42%	2,026	$1,283	4
11	6	Stay Alive	$2.2	-52%	1,845	$1,192	3
			Est. Weekend Total $110.70	Est. Avg. Drop-Off -45%		Est. Average PTA $3,656

Next week, it’s Easter and there are only two new movies! It’s a miracle! The first spoof movie to ever survive the dreaded sophomore slump and the terrible threequel, Scary Movie 4 has plenty of horror fodder to spoof, while Disney has an animated comedy about zoo animals that escape into New York City, but decide not to go to Madagascar, called The Wild.

Copyright 2006 Edward Douglas

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